My dad has been married to my step-mom for seven long years. My real mom died when I was 6 and a few years later my dad married my step-mom. In seven years she has never come to any type of school function, parent-teacher conferance, ect., or come to watch me or my siblings play our respective sports. (Nor does she help with driving) She is incredably manipulative and self-centered. She is extremley jealous of my relationship with my dad and goes weeks at atime without saying a word to me. (It has currently been a month since we last spoke to each other.) I have talked to my dad about it but all he's says is that my sisters and I need to try harder to get along with her. She doesn't work and all she does during the day is spend my dad's money. How do I finally convince my dad to divorce his trophy wife and find someone else?
2006-10-15 13:50:16 · 15 answers · asked by sarah 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
my dad fights with her all the time. when he's really mad at her he will admit she's a b*tch but too expensive to divorce.
2006-10-15 14:06:05 · update #1
I know what your going through... first off... sorry you lost your mom at such a young age... as far as your dad is concerned... I can't give you much hope... my situation... was similar... if your dad sides with you... this woman will make his life a living hell... he probably can't afford to get rid of her... they have been married 7 years... she going to walk away with part of your home and part of his asset... such as retirement accounts etc.
She's being a typical step mom... there are some good ones out there... but there isn't much you can do in your situation... love your dad and keep your relationship with him intact... stay clear of her... I guanrantee the situation will never change... it's sad but I am so sure... you might as well accept it... someday you be grown and can move on with your life and not have to live with her... but remember keep your dad close... the closer you are to your dad... the more pissed she'll be and that's one thing you can do just to make her miserable... good luck...
2006-10-15 14:04:41 · answer #1 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, first of all there is no way you can convince your dad. It seems like he's already made his choice, being that he's been married to the woman for seven years! You can't control him or her, all you can do is control how you react to her. Maybe if you didn't respond to her with such outright animosity all the time, she might relax a little. And if you don't like her as much as you say, then why does it matter that she comes to your parent-teacher conferences or you school functions, have you talked to her about it? It's a two way street, you haven't been an angel either, take some responsibility to the part you play with this drama.
2006-10-15 13:59:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. He is an adult and can and will make his own decisions. Have you considered the fact that you are hurting your dad when you behave this way? Take his advice and try to get along with her (at least until you can move out). Maybe she does not know how to be a stepmom (it's a tough job). Perhaps she feels like you do not respect her, so she is not going to show any respect for you and your sisters.
Is it possible you are jealous of your dad's relationship with your stepmom (pretty common reaction)? You must realize it has nothing to do with you. Nor is it any disrespect to your mother. He is just trying to be happy in life. Chances are if he "found someone else," you wouldn't like her either.
2006-10-15 13:59:46 · answer #3 · answered by fordkid14 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. That's very, very tough. It sounds like she is the typical trophy wife. Does she act mean to you when you do talk? If so, that's hard especially since they've been married for so long. Does your dad really love her, do you think? Do they fight a lot or anything? If they do fight a lot or if they never fight at all your dad might not love her anymore. Does he try to avoid her and conversation with her? If so, he probably doesn't love her. But if he does, you can't do anything about it. Love conquers all, remember?
If he doesn't, you need to make a point. Talk to him about it endlessly, and never give up. Try talking to her and recording the conversation to prove how b****y she is! (Genuis idea , eh?) Make an effort to get to know her because most likely it won't work. Then make a presentation about it for your dad. Try to record or even film efforts made by you. (If the efforts do work, all the better!)
If it doesn't work, then you have to accept it. If your efforts don't work, accept that too. Avoid her and conversations with her.
2006-10-15 13:58:43 · answer #4 · answered by Jamie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure that you can. My heart goes out to you my mom died when I was 17, my dad has not had another women in his life. If he did I am not sure I could handle it.
I think that your best bet might be to suggest family counseling. That way you can talk about it with an impartial party to listen. The Dr. may ask your step mom to go and if she refuses then maybe your dad will see a little. But I think that will be the best way, your dad will see it in his own time, just pray that it is soon.
2006-10-15 13:59:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite them BOTH [when they are together] to every single event or outing there is. Your dad loves you he will say yes to some at least and see that you are making an effort. You will thaw the ice queen, or she will murder you... but at least something will happen. Get your teacher to call both your dad and step mom to personally invite them to parent teacher conferences. Get creative but don't get too pushy or jerky or the gig is up :P
2006-10-15 13:55:33 · answer #6 · answered by PinkPrincessNerd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems to me that she want,s your dad all to herself and wants you and your kin out of the way watch out that she may try to turn your dad against you so that she gets her own way she sounds like someone i once went out with she hated my kids and i had to except hers every one tried to warn me but i could not see your dad is probably the same or she has him under her control and poisons his mind you must stand together as a family unit and get your dad on one side and all tell him what is happening and to open his eyes but be careful just get your dad to understand and he will deal with the situation don,t try to tell him to divorce her he will find out for himself what type of woman he has got and do not bring your mum into the eqausion that will only make matters worse the thing is does he really love her or did she remind him in someway of your mum if so you must wake him up as for her jealousy you are the thorn in her side don,t go away maybe she will give in first and leave i,ll keep my fingers cossed for you good luck
2006-10-15 14:06:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really want to get her ,then get her riled up at you and get a small tape recorder and tape her screaming and hollering at you. Then let your dad listen to it . Then maybe he will realise it is not all you causing the problem. And then tell your dad see dad this is why we dont like her.
2006-10-15 14:07:08 · answer #8 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children should NEVER come between a man and his wife.
Just wait until you are 18 and then, move out.
Why would you want to come between your father and his happiness?
2006-10-15 13:54:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget it, honey................your "plan" is not going to work. Do as your dad says and just go about your business. She is not going to change....he is not going to change.....so you are the one who will have to. You have the power to decide if your life is going to miserable or pretty okay. Leave the nasty step-mother to do what she does best and you enjoy your teen years.
2006-10-15 13:55:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋