My best friend and I are very close; it's uncanny most of the time. In most ways, she is the only family I have. Her boyfriend, who is now her husband, used to support and encourage our close relationship before they got married. Now it's almost as if he doesn't want me to have anything to do with her and vice versa. I mean, I can't even hug her or anything without him telling me to get off his wife. It's ridiculous! The only time he's okay with her giving me the majority of her attention is when he wants to play his video games. What do I do? I mean do I just let the relationship we have dwindle because he's jealous or do I try to fight to keep what we have?
2006-10-15 13:38:11 · 12 answers · asked by Kate 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Your friend is between a rock and a hard spot, needing both of you. I would venture to guess that if he is this possesive and verbal to even you about it, that he is verbally and emotionally abusive to your friend much more than you probably know when noone is around. Guys, husbands, can come and go but a friendship can last forever if both you and your friend want it to. If he is verbally or emotionally abusive to her, she will leave eventually. My friend and I have been best friends for 32 years. We have been through different marraiges, boyfriends, births of our children, parents dying, and no man has a right to try to come between us. But all of them have tried. There's no reason for them to feel threatened but they do. But when the man does something against your friend or their marraige, she will be glad she has you. If the relationship is worth keeping, why in the world would you ever let it dwindle away if it's difficult? That part of your question I don't understand. Stay friends, but don't interfere with her marraige. She needs to learn her own lessons in life.
2006-10-15 13:51:44 · answer #1 · answered by antiquegirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Husband Jealous Of Friends
2017-01-17 05:11:42 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My bet is that you'll be around much longer than him so don't give up on her... 2 pieces of advice though:
1) Make sure you give them enough space... Don't be over all the time and when they are making "family" decisions, stay out of it.
2) When she starts complaining about him (and she will), lend a sympathetic ear but DO NOT take it as an opportunity to start bashing him! You will loose. Just listen to her and reassure her that every thing's going to be alright and you are there for her.
Maybe you should start bringing over your Boyfriend (especially if they have ANYTHING in common). This will give him someone to play with while you visit with your friend.
Good Luck!
2006-10-15 13:43:11 · answer #3 · answered by keysfunding 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You just can't help it, your bestfriend is now married, let's face it, people change and situations change, and sometimes people do things without even giving a single thougt about what they do or say. It's not your fault nor your girlfriend's but for the sake of yur friendship, try to be more discreet and keep a little distance, coz as you have mentioned earlier, jealousy is outraging and most certain you don't want to spoil their relationship. Give them a litte privacy because the " used to's" needs to be changed to " have to's", coz her husband is showing some signs of disapproval. Respect his ideas and he'll respect yours.
2006-10-15 13:54:24 · answer #4 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just don't be around the two of them together. They ARE married, let him have all the attention he deserves from his wife. U could still go out and chat with Ur bf, as long as he's not around.
Better still, go and get yourself Ur own boy friend. Then U won't be too clinggy to Ur Bestfriend.
2006-10-15 13:46:36 · answer #5 · answered by daisy770 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him in a joking way to get over it. Tell him that he didn`t care before they were married and you have been friends longer than he`s been her husband. Or hug him too and include him in on it so he doesn`t feel left out. Talk to him like you would her just not as much. Include him and he`ll chill a bit!!
2006-10-15 13:44:54 · answer #6 · answered by bren_jim 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should talk to her about it. See if she feels the same way. I think in a way he is just intimidated that the two of you are that close. If it is a new marriage he just may need some time to adjust.
2006-10-15 13:41:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bring him a video game every once in a while.
2006-10-15 13:43:23 · answer #8 · answered by craigrr929 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he truly loves her he will respect her decision to be your friend. Good luck. However you should also respect your friend by giving her more space first comes marriage than friends.
2006-10-15 13:52:44 · answer #9 · answered by Tellie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are a third wheel in their relationship. Why don't you back off or he will force an ultimatum of "her or me" on his wife, and you will probably lose.
2006-10-15 13:40:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋