i have been married 6 yrs 0ct 5 but together almost 9......i work my butt off trying to keep up my appearance.....with a full time job and 2 kids age 5 and 3 its all work no play....but he could seem to care less.....when we get intimate i still make sure i have taken a bath shaved my legs and brush my teeth...he seems to care less.....hes a nice lookin man and looks great no matter what but i just dont feel like he trys to impress me anymore......and im always still tyin.......why is this?
2006-10-15 11:48:28 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Miki 1st good on you for going all to look after your self
Its a good thing when you find a lady that wants to look good ,so many women just settle for plain old mom (not that there is anything wrong with that if they are happy with that look ) Sounds like your hubby is at the point in life where he is comfortable and thinks that you will accept him in any condition, Well girl Its time for you to be a little more demanding after all person hygiene is important even if he doesn't want to put in the effort .
Tell him he is in need of a makeover and that you love him but would like him to be the best he can be ( with out joining up lol)
After all if you can find the time so can he ,
Your guy is like a woman he will react and comply to your needs with compliments and flattery
2006-10-15 12:11:13 · answer #1 · answered by slick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You haven't said exactly what it is he's doing that bothers you,... and why do you think he still needs to try to impress you? Thats just being fake. Part of luxury of being together so long comes the comfort of being able to relax and be yourself. Does he shower and look appropriate when you go out? If so, then why complain that he likes to be comfortable when hanging out at home? Since you admit he's a nice looking man no matter what, it sounds to me like its more you're problem. My husband has never made one complaint about whether or not my legs are shaved... and bathing and brushing teeth are just proper hygiene. How unromantic and unspontanious is it to say... "hang on a few minutes honey, I need to shave my legs and brush my teeth." What a mood breaker. Loosen up a bit.
2006-10-15 12:00:18 · answer #2 · answered by just_me3575 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question to me is why? Are you doing it for him or for yourself? Maybe he doesn't realize how much work it is and thinks you just do it 'cause you like to do it. Believe me... I've had to let myself go a bit 'cause I was just exhausted keeping up w/the demands of work, kids, family etc... I hate that I'm not the 25 year old he married, but you can only do so much... try talking to the guy, you've been together 9 years, it seems like there may be a lack of communication going on...but hey, all relationships are different, you gotta do what works for you! Good Luck, I'm sure it will all work out!
2006-10-15 11:54:06 · answer #3 · answered by i_love_my_mp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still trying - our culture / media says you have to.
He is not trying - his wife has said he doesn't have to.
Start by making him brush his teeth next time he wants to get intimate. It isn't too threatening to perfect guys like us.
Think seriously about seeing a counselor for a session or three. It appears there is so pretty obvious resentment here and that it isn't being communicated. Go solo at first and find out what is going on.
He's settled in. Knows you love him and is coasting.
2006-10-15 12:40:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people get "comfortable" in relationships, and let themselves go. I am sure this is what is happening with your husband...it happened to my boyfriend. We have been together since 1999, we both used to be in great shape, try to empress each other, then after a couple years...we kinda started slacking. I noticed i was, so i stepped it up...im good now..but he just kept with his slacking ways. Try talking to him, or even joke around with him and say something like "damn you need a shower boy" before he tries to go at ya :) I joke around with my guy and it works. Or when other guys hit on ya...that always make the man step up.. either way...communication always does the trick! Good luck :)
2006-10-15 11:57:15 · answer #5 · answered by ~*StAcY*~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that he needs to keep up his appearance because you didn't marry a slob.
2006-10-15 11:51:47 · answer #6 · answered by BORED AT WORK 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is probobly a lously ************ who just doesnt have the balls to impress you,find a guy who does have the balls
2006-10-15 11:51:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋