I hear about people not knowing that they are gay until they get married or until they are in their 30s or their 40s....waz up with dat?
2006-10-15 11:22:46 · 17 answers · asked by 6th Finger 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Self-loathing, internalized homophobia, repression, fear, denial, misunderstanding of feelings and impulses, decreased sex drive, etc etc etc.
Many many reasons.
You know how some people say "oh your child isn't slow, he just learns at a different pace." People aren't stupid for not realizing certain things about themselves until they're older. And sometimes you just don't know you like the water until you go for a swim.
2006-10-15 11:26:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
So many different reasons! I was one of those 'late bloomers.' I had my first sexual experience in my late 20's with a woman. A few years after, I tried sex with a man and I was more comfortable with it. For me, the reason to even have sex was obscured by my upbringing: men and women get married, have children, and create their lives together, not to mention the imposed implications of religious consequence.
I think that many times people aren't exposed to these different experiences outside the norm or deny them for a time. I used to believe that being gay was a choice, but as I've gotten older I've come to realize that it's not so much the case. We probably all come to realize it in our own time.
2006-10-15 19:11:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Denial is a very strong thing. Most of us were brought up by straight parents & taught that someday we'd be attracted to those of the opposite sex, marry, have children & live happily ever after. It's what we came to believe would happen, even if we did have some kind of attraction for those of our own sex. We were brought up to think that we were straight. For those of us who were actually sexually attracted to those of the opposite sex, it was even easier to convince ourselves that we were straight but just had an ability to admire the bodies of those of our own sex as well. Some of us actually did marry and/or have children, but realized that the sexual attraction for those of our own sex wasn't going away. With continued introspection combined with age acquired wisdom, we eventually realized that we were not straight (some of us were gay & some bisexual). The process of realization just took longer in some of us than in others.
2006-10-15 22:54:45 · answer #3 · answered by Dragon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm just that. I was married for 17 years and met my soul mate when I was 35...I've been with her 14 years now and have never been happier in my life. I finally feel complete. I guess those little crushes I had on girls throughout my life meant something. I thought it was normal. I had always felt shy and intimidated by men. It was a surprise to me when it happened...but I'd do it again. I don't feel different anymore.
2006-10-15 18:29:22 · answer #4 · answered by Lipstick 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is different for each person.
It may be that they really want to have children, and supress their feelings because being with a man/woman is still the best way to have children.
It may be that their family or their religion is really ignorant and would not be supportive of the fact. Don't you hide things you don't want people to find out about?
It may be that they are so messed up by religion or their community that they deny it even to themselves.
2006-10-15 18:29:39 · answer #5 · answered by firehorsetwo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not not knowing, its not acting. These guys are probably going through some sort of life crisis where they act out the things they wish they would have done earlier. They probably always knew they were somewhat gay.
2006-10-15 21:13:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Denial. All of us go through denial of the fact that we are gay. For some it just lasts longer than others.
2006-10-15 20:13:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They know it... they have just been repressing those feelings and physical urges.
The reason they so strongly repress their feelings and physical urges is because they believe what their parents and society have told them since babyhood... that being homo is bad.
Eventually, nature wins over nurture.
2006-10-15 18:34:57 · answer #8 · answered by bikerchickjill 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They usually say they did know....but they thought they could be "normal" if they tried hard enough.
Maybe if society didn't give them such a hard way to go this wouldn't happen.
I'm not gay and I don't think it's right....but I can certainly understand why they do it.
2006-10-15 18:27:02 · answer #9 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
those are usually the people who deny it much of their life. You tend to know earlier on in life
2006-10-15 23:50:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋