They never leave their wives this I now know...Should I inform his wife that he's been having an affair for almost a year? I'm in the angry stages of our seperation...He's in the Military and deploying to Iraq at the begining of 2007...They have children...I want to tell but I don't! So confused..............
2006-10-15 10:46:27 · 26 answers · asked by Medicsgirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband is in the Army. If it were my husband that you had been having an affair with for a year then yes, I would want you to tell me. I have a baby that is almost one month old now and I would STILL want to know....children or not...she deserves to know that her husband is doing her dirty. He will continue to cheat on her even when he goes to Iraq..she'll find out sooner or later and better sooner then later because by then he will have cheated with all kinds of women and will end up giving her an STD. Just tell her, if it makes it any easier ...call, email or write her a letter first and then meet her in person if you know for a fact she's not going to go off and try to hurt you. She may end up in denial and not believe you so provide her with proof...if you dated him for a year you should have more then enough proof. Good Luck.
2006-10-15 10:59:39 · answer #1 · answered by S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask yourself this, would you feel better if you tell his wife this? Would it take away the guilt and regrets and pain by getting involved with a married man and knowing this would end favorably for you? Hes headed for Iraq and who knows what will happen there, but truthfully you have nothing to gain by doing such at this point in time. Just hope you learned your lesson and find someone who you can call your own. The kids dont need to know this about their dad in case something happens over there so let it be and move on. Good luck
2006-10-15 11:02:10 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you haven't said in your post----which is very common for the person who is being the coward; i.e., afraid to face the truth. The man is obviously just as guilty as the "other woman", but at least it is HIS responsibility to go to his wife, be a man, and tell the truth. Most cowards, liars, cheaters, and mistresses (unpaid prostitutes) share the same character flaws.
If you are the other woman---which, from your post, appears to be the case----I would say you've done enough harm to this family, don't you? Who will tell your family what you've done? Do you think someone else should go to your parents, your family, the people who are oblivious to your "hooker" status, and tell them about you?
Let's see----you did something you knew was wrong. He did something he knew was wrong. Now, your first impulse----to get back at him-----is to destroy the people who have done absolutely nothing wrong. I say, keep your mouth shut. You've done enough. Just accept the consequences of your lecherous actions and try not to repeat you mistakes.
2006-10-15 10:52:47 · answer #3 · answered by thepeskywabbit 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What purpose would it serve for you to tell her, other than to hurt her and make yourself feel better for, what, 5 seconds? I understand that you are angry, but who are you angry with, her or him? Or yourself? Telling her won't make your anger go away. Is it worth hurting her to punish him before he goes off to war? Is it worth hurting the children from the fall-out of your telling her? Walk away from all of this and next time don't get involved with a married man, it only hurts everyone involved in the long run. Sorry.
If this is common behavior for him, then he will get caught sooner or later anyway. Do you want to be the one to hurt that poor mother? Eventually it will all come back around to bite him in the a**. Let her find out on her own.
2006-10-15 10:51:36 · answer #4 · answered by Laurie K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lets be honest! If you actually cared about this woman and her children then you would not have had an affair in the first place, and or you would have told her sooner. It sounds like you are looking for revenge and want to be a vindictive person about it.
Personally id want to know. He shouldnt get away with it. But your motives dont seem all that honest.
2006-10-15 13:15:31 · answer #5 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny, you apparently didn't feel the need to tell her while you were getting what you wanted......Grow up......seriously......what right do you have to even be sleeping with a married man, let alone be the one to tell his wife?! Don't you think she already knows?! Women aren't stupid, hon....and with him being deployed in a few months, she is under enough stress as it is. Just because he didn't leave her for you doesn't mean you can take your heartbreak out on her. Chalk it up as a lesson learned........find your own man!
P.S. Karma's a b*tch.....so remember when you are in a relationship with a man that you think is 'the one' and he cheats on you and hurts you......what goes around comes around........
2006-10-15 11:58:38 · answer #6 · answered by bluez 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So now you have the moral status(?) to tell his wife? HEY home wrecker, at least he wised up for the sake of his family. Now you want to go muck things up while he is in Iraq?
Stay the hell out of his life from here on. He was never available to you and you knew he was married. Suck it up and shut up about it.
Now go on with your life life knowing why honorable women DO NOT mess with married men.
Who do you think you hurt here, HIM? He's a cheat and you are a homewrecker. There is a woman who has to endure wondering if he is going to survive his tour while raising kids on her own. Keep your big mouth shut. You will only hurt the innocent. That would add an even bigger black mark to add to your low legacy.
I wonder who the "tell" her crowd is thinking about? Do they not see any farther than their own noses? Who are they trying to punish? It sure won't be him. He'll be in Iraq with survival on his mind, far to busy to worry about you. Telling her only hurts her. To what end?
2006-10-15 11:56:18 · answer #7 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You chose to be in that relationship, willing and knowing he was married! So don't hate on him and tell his wife i'm pretty sure she already knows, and you were at wrong, just as much as him you knew he had a wife and still didn't care... You will only make 2 new enemies let it go and leave it alone! Go with someone that deserves you love and leave married men alone!
2006-10-15 10:54:41 · answer #8 · answered by ~*Megan N MaRc~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this straight - you're angry because you were the mistress of a married man and he won't leave his wife for you?
And you're trying to lash out with your hurt at the wife, in order to make her feel as badly as you do? That's sad.
No, don't tell. Move on with your life, and next time try not to move in on someone else's marriage.
2006-10-15 11:13:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What good would it do? Is this to help get rid of the anger or to help her. Almost every woman I know who had a cheating husband, knew it. They knew it but, chose to hide it in order to stay in the relationship. IT will do you no good to hurt her and tell her little details that she and her children don't need to know.
Be thankful that he is leaving so that you can find another who will commit their whole heart and life to you. Bringing someone eles down does not help you feel better...it makes it worse.
2006-10-15 11:09:31 · answer #10 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋