My ex has asked me to move in with her and my daughter. I love my daughter and I see her every weekend and even more. I would love to live with my daughter and be able to see her everyday but I have a problem with her mom. I can't stand to be in the same room with her. Should I forget the feelings I have for the ex to be able to see my daughter everyday or should I keep things as they are? My daughter is getting to the age where she needs a fathers guidence. (13) I want to do this but the idea of living with the ex is revolting. Can this work?
2006-10-15 10:39:46 · 37 answers · asked by SOXFAN 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
DO NOT move in with your ex. If you want to be a close as you can to your daughter, buy a house close by. Moving in with your ex will only intesify the dislike that you have for her. As the tension rises, your daughter will feel it and most likely blame you.
You don't have to physcially live with your child to see her everyday. Good for you for being a good dad!
2006-10-15 10:44:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's seems so sad that you cannot put your own feelings aside for your daughter. I don't think living with your ex is a good idea considering how you feel. This is hardly conducive to a happy healthy environment....
The best thing you can do for your daughter is show her that you and her mother can be friends now even though you are no longer married. Everyone deserves to be respected especially in their own home.
This would be a good time to evaluate your own feelings and figure out why you feel this way. Obviously you loved this woman enough at some point in time that you married her and had a child with her.... You know if you look for the good in someone you will surely find it.
Hatred and bitterness serve no purpose and life's too short to harbor unforgiving bad feelings.
I think you should not move into your ex's house until you can be a kind considerate contributer to the families well being....
It seems your ex has been able to put the past behind her and wants whats best for her child. You should do the same....
You can be a good father to your daughter without living with her.
peace...
2006-10-15 10:56:56 · answer #2 · answered by easinclair 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say No it won't work. it's only going to take abit of time before you and your ex are going to have a confrontation about something you don't like about each other and being a loving father i'm sure you don't want that to happen in front of your daughter. if you can't be in the same room as your ex together it pretty much answers your question your asking. living nearby in your own place would be a smarter option and maybe having your daughter sleep over during the week if possible will continue your close relationship. just knowing she has your love and support in her teenage years will help. Being a teenager is not easy for anyone and if you can put yourself in her shoes and remember how you felt as a teenager will help in having a great relationship. most parents i think go off the handle and over react when their teenage kids come and ask for help or talk. just getting them to talk to you in these years is an accomplishment. I think if my father was open with me i'd would have had better judgement on what boys really wanted and if they were being respectful toward me, instead it took me a few bad relationships to be in the relationship i'm in now. being a presence in your daughters life as much as you can will be more helpful than living with your ex you can't stand. your daughter will love you more for being there for her even if you don't live together.
2006-10-15 10:59:25 · answer #3 · answered by valentina c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a father that has just gone thru the teenage years with 2 daughters,I can tell you that youre probably better off the way things are presently. Teens will try the patience of the best of parents so she may need an escape route from mom from time to time going thru these years and with you too. This also gives the two of you a break from her also before you lose your sanity. But if you couple living with a teenage daughter with living with your ex and that adds up to a very explosive situation which could easily explode with something as simple as dealing with her boyfriends and agreeing on curfews. So I would say no on the moving in as much as you would like to. Also teenage girls dont hang around their parents all that much so you probably wont see her as much as you think by living there. Good luck
2006-10-15 10:55:08 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!
If it bothers you to be in the same room with your ex then it will never work with the two of you living under the same roof.
Yes your daughter is reaching an age when she needs a father the most but this can be accomplished without living in the same house.
Just think how it will affect your daughter if you and the ex start fighting all the time. It won't be beneficial at all.
2006-10-15 10:50:50 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you should think about moving into the same neighborhood or area of your city. Fighting in front of kids is one of the worst things a child can live through. If you are close proximity, you will be able to see your daughter more often. Maybe dinner with your daughter and ex one night at their house and one night at your house every week, on top of seeing her on the weekends, will make your situation better while preventing fights. I don't think that moving in with them would be the best solution.
2006-10-15 11:10:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the answer already, but you seem to need to hear it from someone else.
Don't move in with them. There was a reason that woman is your ex. Your daughter is the one who will get hurt from living with two parents who do not get along. She may even feel guilty because she might feel that mom and dad HAVE to be together, in spite of what they want, because of her.
If possible, move closer to your daughter, so that visits can be more frequent but you don't have to see your ex any longer than you have to.
BTW, the "getting to the age" bit is crap. Your daughter has ALWAYS needed you.
2006-10-15 10:47:04 · answer #7 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not move in with your ex if you do not get along with her, it would not be good for your daughter. See your daughter as frequently as you can , but she does not deserve you and your ex living together and not having a happy house. No, it can not work and will cause more problems than you already have.
2006-10-15 18:12:53 · answer #8 · answered by RY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to keep not only your sanity, but peace and love with your daughter...you are going ot have to stay right where you are. even though it would be a great thing seeing your daughter every day, but the tension would always be there with your ex. and your daughter would not only see it, but be stuck in the middle of it. talk to your daughter and see if she would like to stay with you at your place during the week. ask if that would be a possiblity.
but with what you have just shared, moving back in with your ex, would not be a wise thing to do. i am sorry. but you must think of yoru daughter, which i know you are. the tension would be bad, and you know that.
it sounds that you and your daughter are close and she wants to see you too. explain to her what you are feeling, and most likely she will understand.
keep the faith, relax, and good luck.
2006-10-15 10:46:40 · answer #9 · answered by dragonsclaw27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay. Think about what you just wrote. You got a divorce for a reason and I assume it is because you can't stand to be in the same room with her. That would do it for me. Yes, your daughter is important and you are a part of her life. You could take her to breakfast some mornings when you don't get to have her over night, go out for dinners, call her just to say you love her..........you don't have to be there physically every minute for guidance, Dad. You just have to be available when she needs you and I can tell that you are.
2006-10-15 11:22:28 · answer #10 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋