Even after 25 years my heart feels numb thinking back to the day my daughter died unexpectedly from a health problem. I go through the motions day in and day out....thinking of all the good memories...that we shared with her. She was 22 when she died just beginning to live and find her place in life. It's so unbelievable so many years have passed. She would be 47 now. Life goes on but it's like you are not complete with the children you gave birth to. I know I'm not alone. Just wanted to reach out to other parents who share the same loss. I have my faith in God and know she is in a better place. My heart tells me this and at the same time I miss her. thanks for sharing with me.
2006-10-15 10:38:33 · 7 answers · asked by Mama Jazzy Geri 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I send you a big understanding hug from one mother to another mother who has lost a child.
My youngest child died four years ago at the age of 21, he had an unexpected heart attack. The loss of him is beyond understanding...but then you understand that.
It is so difficult to understand the why of it all. It took me three years to put out a picture of him. Still iti sn't easy.
I believe that a mother's pain never really goes the way....thus 25 years later you still miss her and grieve her passing.
As mothers we grow them inside of us. We loved them before they were born and after they were born we were blessed by their being in our lives.
I too have my Faith in God. I do believe in a life everlasting. Sinse I lost my son I have been in more awh over what is the spiritual world going to be like. I wonder if my son understands the mysteries of the universe.
The irrational part of my maternal mind says I didn't keep him safe, I wasn't there when he laid on the ground for six hours before he was found. I couldn't make his body warm again, I coudnl't help him breath again. I knew his spirit and soul were gone and his body was not him. But, as a mother I still miss his body. I miss his laughter. I miss his spunk. When they burried him, my irrational mind said...he is cold and he can't breath. I knew this wasn't true, but the mother in me wanted to save him. I wanted to hold him in my arms again and kiss him.
I am crying now.....which is good. I have to cry now and again or the pain builds up so powerful that it can over take me.
Like you I have memories of the little boy (you the little girl), and I am thankful for the years I had with him. I just didn't know that his time with us would be so short. It is good that babys aren't born with a little tag on their toes saying...expiration date -----
I am glad that you reached out today and that I came across your question here.
I feel your pain with my mother's heart, just like you will feel mine when you read this.
I used to tell myself that mothers have lost children for milllions of years, why should I be any different. Then I realized that I am different and this is my only life and my only experience of lossing a son. So, thus no matter how many mother's who have lost children, we are each like the first. It can't be miminized by the fact that it is part of the cycle of life. It hurts and it is an incredable loss.
I send you my thoughts and prayers. God Bless!
2006-10-15 10:58:08 · answer #1 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a parent of a child who died,, but my mother died when I was 4 years old. and that was 21 years ago. And it's not easy when you loose a parent so young. I lived with my father my whole life and I didn't have anyone to talk to about all the girl things that I really couldn't with my father. I'm gonna be 25 next month and even to this day when I see other girls with there mothers I ask myself why can't that be me.. So I sorta know what you are going through..
2006-10-15 10:50:39 · answer #2 · answered by Jen 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I lost a child during delivery 21 yrs ago. I have pictures of her and look at them almost daily. I don't think you ever learn to cope with it. Something precious was taken and the hurt is overwhelming. Like your daughter, mine too is in a much better place and that makes me feel good. Remember her. Honor her with lots of pictures in your house. She is your angel now, and is watching you. I'm sure she misses you too. And most definitely, you are not alone.
2006-10-15 11:11:08 · answer #3 · answered by looloo1122 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it is in this times that we think life is not fair at all and why her?why your family?nobody can fell your pain or even understand your feelings,but your other kids have the right to fell the same love you have for her.you have good memories with her,and this nobody can take from you.
2006-10-15 10:48:48 · answer #4 · answered by realistic 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i kinda know how you feel. today is 2 years since my boyfriend died(he hung himself) what i am doing is n-e thing i can to keep my mind off of him. It will be ok hun.
2006-10-15 10:42:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am fortunate that I've not dealt with this issue, but as a father, please...let me cry with you for a moment.
Aincerely, Andy
2006-10-15 10:41:10 · answer #6 · answered by Curmudgeon 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sorry about this hun.
i hope you had other children.
2006-10-15 10:40:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋