I asked him about the past. If he has sex with women while i was away, our relationship is long distance. I have waited almost a year and likewise him, i was faithful and still faithful because i treasured our relationship and i believe that marriage is sacred. But it really broke my heart when i asked him about it, then he said that he had sex persistently, if im not mistaken, it means continuously for a long time. I dont know if i will trust him again the way i trusted him before i know this. I am so down, and i dont know what to do. I kept on crying and crying. I need some advice. Hope you will help me. Thank you and God bless.
2006-10-15
10:00:16
·
13 answers
·
asked by
Anonymous
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi guys! i really appreciate all of your answers but i know that its me, myself who should decide, I made my decision for me, to be happy. I have forgiven him and we talked about this issue, just wanna forget about it. I love him too much not to forgive him, that happened before we got married. Goldwing, i know that happened before marriage but you just dont know how i treasured me being "engaged" to him, means its a committment. I am just so happy with him and i adore him because he did tell me the truth, he didnt lie to me when i asked him. Because of that, i forgive him. I give him a second chance. We promised we will be faithful to each other. We love each other so much. When i posted my statement here on yahoo answers, that was the moment he admitted and i needed a space. Now, its settled. I just want to make things straighten out. Marriage for me is so sacred and as long as he will remain faithful to me as much as i do, everything will be fine. Stay blessed everyone and thanks!!!
2006-10-16
13:02:16 ·
update #1
This is going to be very blunt, but I think you need some bluntness.... the only harm he has done is being stupid enough to tell you about it...this is disgusting. But, you were NOT married, you were Long Distance, etc. IF he is faithful as a married man, cut your losses and stop worrying about trivia....ONLY you can stop it, he cannot undo anything. Do you want a divorce over this? IF NOT, then change your tune and get back to being happy...only you can do it. If your mind starts to go there, stop it dead in its tracks. And it is obvious he wanted you, he married you, didn't he?
Dear heart, things happen daily to us that hurt..badly.. You are crying over milk that wasn't even spilled. All you have to do is look around at how many miserable people there are and see just how good you have it. That was then, THIS is today!
IF you are going to try to punish him forever more, then do him a favor and leave him now. If you are NOT going to leave him, scold him for being so stupid as to spill the beans to clean up his conscience, and leave it at that. Trust me, REAL troubles will come your way, and this is NOT one of them. I do wish you the best in life, but you have to help yourself by stop worrying about nonsense. Trust me on this one. Love and Peace
2006-10-15 10:11:02
·
answer #1
·
answered by Anonymous
·
0⤊
0⤋
It's true that becoming engaged is a commitment and people should be faithful from then on into the marriage. It's quite common for a man to run around and the woman to stay faithful. I would question whether or not he is a faithful husband. Sometimes it's best not to ask questions if you can't handle the answer. The past is the past and he might value the marriage more than the engagement so you could just let this go and take each day as it comes. For future reference, if a man is off on his own a long distance away, don't expect him to be faithful like that. You would be fooling yourself. I say women should date and enjoy themselves also because we always end up getting the short end of the stick being little miss faithful.
2006-10-15 10:17:52
·
answer #2
·
answered by Anonymous
·
0⤊
0⤋
I know exactly how you feel.And from the male side.But if it happened before the marriage,and not again since,it means repentance,committment,and that the marriage is sacred.People grow up,and at different rates,we all get hurt learning the way it all works.But you have to keep your chin up.I was really lucky to have some good friends to keep the shotgun out of my thoughts,but get out,look around,take a walk,the things that mean the most to you are still there.Dont let yourself be down.It bothers me that I can t give you a hug and get you pointed in the right direction again.E
2006-10-15 10:12:55
·
answer #3
·
answered by EDDIE/67 2
·
0⤊
0⤋
ok first of all you must have known something or you wouldn't have felt the need to ask him if you love him you need to get him to work on the trust issue he did not feel the need to tell you prior cause officially he was still open to the public and as long as you were at a long distance what were the chances you would find out unless you ask which a good sign he did not lie about it so he's not a compulsive liar i suggest you two work it out on your own don't include counselors (everyone says that) dont dwendle on the subject tell him how you feel about knowing and get him to devote only to you if you trust him you can work anything out then let it go and next time dont ask a question from your mate unless you are ready to accept the worst possible outcome imaginable that's what killed the curious cat
2006-10-15 10:10:17
·
answer #4
·
answered by dyxiedoll 1
·
0⤊
0⤋
What about now are you guy living together or still in a long distance relationship I understand that you are hurting
but if you think about try to put it behind you
concentrate on making the marriage work
and also try counsoling
he has taken your trust away and he needs to work in getting it back
Good Luck
2006-10-15 10:20:43
·
answer #5
·
answered by waiting for baby 6
·
0⤊
0⤋
You have a decision to make. Are you going to allow something that happened BEFORE you were married to affect your marriage or are you going to forget it and consentrate on your marriage.
2006-10-15 10:16:28
·
answer #6
·
answered by Anonymous
·
0⤊
0⤋
Is he STILL cheating on you? Or is this something that has bee left in the past? As long as he's left it in the past, stay with him....see if he's willing to seek maritial counseling to heal the hurts.....even if he's not, at least seek personal counseling....I wish you the best of luck!!
2006-10-15 10:04:00
·
answer #7
·
answered by honey_bear_21_1999 4
·
1⤊
0⤋
dear one i know the feeling, there is no greater pain than unfaithfulness. it is not acceptable for you to stand for, but it is forgivable. But to accept him back he must realize on his own the grave sin and hurt his has done to you, and repent from his ways. if he does'nt you will never be able to have that connection untill love is restored
2006-10-15 10:05:46
·
answer #8
·
answered by andylokster01 1
·
0⤊
0⤋
Leave him alone. I know it hurts, but he wasn't faithful, and may do it again. Look at it this way at least he was honest. Most men won't tell you, even if you asked.
2006-10-15 14:26:32
·
answer #9
·
answered by fleetwalk60 1
·
0⤊
0⤋
AS I LONG AS HE HASN`T HAD SEX SINCE YOUV`E BEEN MARRIED I DON`T THINK IT`S A BIG DEAL.BUT YOU BE SURE AND TELL HIM IF HE EVER LIES TO YOU AGAIN THAT HE`S ALL DONE.HOPE THIS HELPS A LITTLE HONEY I FEEL BAD FOR YOU.BEST OF LUCK
2006-10-15 10:24:14
·
answer #10
·
answered by heavy m 2
·
0⤊
0⤋