giving birth..... agony or not?

Question

im 4 months pregnant and want to ask this question to all the mothers out there.
honestly.... is giving birth the agony people say it is or are most of the stories distorted?
i dont want to make light of the process.... but from the stories ive heard im feeling a little terrified

Answer 1

Congratulations!! To start with there always seems to be women out there (meant to be friends) who find it there greatest need in life to frighten new mums-to-be with the horror stories of child-birth. A midwife gave me this advice during my 1st pregnancy -

1. Your pregnant for 9 months labour is normally 1 day.
2. Women have been doing for centuries (without pain relief)
3. At good attitude to labour helps - if your worried & uptight about it you'll find it hard - if your calm & looking forward to meeting your baby you'll be able to cope with what comes & understand whats going on.
4. If it was that bad would woman do it again & again.
5. You forget very quickly what it was like.
6. Pick the right person to be your birthing partner- Husband/partner/sister/mum/friend (someone whos strong enough to give you strength)
7. And mostly if your in pain ask for pain relief.

Good luck with everything.

Answer 2

are you sure you want the honest answers here? I think labour is one of those things that most people genuinely do forget after it is over (until they're there with the next one apparently)! I have a terrific memory and can still remember every minute of the 27 hour labour I had. I was brainwashed by the National Childbirth Trust into thinking that a natural drug free labour was the way to go so wrote a birth plan around massage, choosing positions and birthing pools. Had I known that I would feel like I was about to die one minute and being fine the next I would have gone for the epidural. It is the worst all consuming pain you will ever experience in your life and it does change you as a person and is what distinguishes mums from non mums - this shared knowledge of what you've been through.

Answer 3

It is very very intense pressure. However, it was not the worst pain I had felt in my life. I had a pitocin-induced labor (which is supposed to be the worst kind) with no pain meds. I'm planning on going no pain meds again this time. The meds can cause horrible side effects. Don't take the doctor's word for it that they are safe- read the prescribing information and find out the truth.
The worst part is transition, and it doesn't last very long. Plus your mind makes so many of its own drugs that you're pretty out of it. If you're worried about it, get a doula. They are by you the whole time and they actually know how to help you, combining the best part about your husband (who stays with you the whole time but is often clueless) and your nurse (who knows a lot but can't stay with you the whole time). So go spend a little extra money and get a doula. It will help so much!
The other thing to make it hurt less is to avoid as many medical procedures as possible. Stay out of bed and walk around, squat, or do whatever helps you. Don't let them break your water. And if you can avoid it, don't be induced unless there is a strong medical indication. And eat light foods during labor if you have any appetite at all(even if you have to sneak to eat them or just tell the nurses you're eating and don't let them stop you). Everything hurts worse when you're starving.

Answer 4

Firstly lol at ellie!!

I had my son at 19, was petrified, got all the nasty stories from everyone and sobbed all the way to hospital before i was induced.

got there to find i had already started and didnt know was 3cm dilated, they left me over night by which time i was 4cm, broke my waters at 9.30am, slight achy tummy, then 11 the first contraction, the pain made me double over, i begged for drugs straight away lol, but after a few deep breaths it went and all was well, tehy came evry 5 min after that for an hours, but i found that once using gas and air and breathing through them deeply (i never did antenatal was all stuff i just automatically did) they were bearable. Then once in established labour the pain didnt worsen just cae more often, i made it through with just gas and air and even manged to let go of that when the pushing came. my son was born within 2 half hours and i could happily say straight after it wasnt half as bad as i was expecting.

Id say expect the worse and it'll not be anywhere near, the more you worry the tighter your muscles are the harder it is, which is why gas and air is a godsend!

No 2 labours are the same, but seriously the minute you hold your baby it doesnt matter what you've just been through

The only parti wasnt warned about was how swollen and sore you are down below for a good 2 weeks so be prepared, lost of pads, pants, pillows, and loose trousers or skirts!

Answer 5

It is hard work, and it is painful, but hopefully you will be having your baby in the hospital where there are experts to look after you and help you. It is not like we are in the middle ages and there is no help! You can have an epidural and feel no pain whatever, or you can have 'gas and air' (which is what I had), where you help yourself to anaesthetic as and when you need it. The extra oxygen in this mixture is good for the baby. They won't allow to to be in overwhelming pain, it is too dangerous for you and your baby. They will do everything to make you comfortable, there is no need for you to be in excruciating agony! It just won't happen.
Plus of course nearer the time you will be invited to go to antenatal classes where you will learn about relaxation and breathing. These are a great help on the day, make sure you go to the classes.
Speak to your doctor or midwife if you are frightened. It is important that you don't get stressed worrying about the pain; it's controllable. Don't worry, enjoy your pregnancy!

Answer 6

While giving birth is painful it's not excruciating... And you will likely forget the pain very quickly as alot of it is masked by endorphines your body will produce during labor...

If it gets to be too much ask for a muscle relaxer/ pain killer.. Something to take the edge off... It's ok to want/ need pain assistance during labor.. Pain assistance can range from a muscle relaxer to epidural (spinal block)...

While labor isn't a stroll in the park it doesn't have to be 15 rounds with the heavy weight champion either..

There are exercizes you can begin doing now that will assist you in managing labor.. Kegels (pelvic floor exercise) The next time you go to the bathroom to pee try to stop peeing in the middle pay attention to what muscles you have to tighten to accomplish this... The tightening of those muscles is a kegel.. Once you understand which muscles to tighten try doing 10-20 2-3 times a day they will help build up the muscles you are going to be working during delivery... (Side benefit is to your sex life kegels tone vaginal muscles and you can learn to have very good control of those muscles something you can use for pleasure during sex for both you and your partner..)

Once you reach your 8th month do some perineal massage

http://www.childbirth.org/articles/massage.html

It will prepare your perineum (the bit between your vaginal opening and anus) for the stretching it will be doing during delivery.. (It also feels pretty good especially if you can have your partner get involved in the massage)

Take a lamaze course and learn some relaxation, focal and breathing techniques... Remember you can change the techniques to fit your needs use what the class teaches as a guide not a cut in stone way... ( I use the general lamaze techniques but used a mental focus planning my dream vacation every detail, while in labor ,down to the color of the sheets and the color of the room at the luxury hotel....My mother-in-law was on hand to keep me focused on the planning by writing down all I said and reminding me where I was should a contraction throw my concentration slightly)... I know it sounds odd but it worked for me and you can use the Lamaze general techniques to do something that works for you...

Visit your local hospital they may have home videos of other deliveries in a library you can check some of them out and see how other womens labors went.. If the hospital does not have these they should be able to put you in contact with a lamaze instructor or someone else who does.... It's not the horror and stuff you see in the hollywood movies that is usually over dramatized...

Answer 7

Oooo, when it comes to giving birth, women like to do nothing more than try to scare others.
I'm not going to lie to you, it hurts. But its a different type of pain and it is forgotten after the birth...I know that it hurt, but I can't remember how much.
Different pain? Because there is a reason for it. It's not like a headache where you can go through the pain not knowing or understanding why it is there. Labour is a productive pain. You know that it is worth it.
It will probably be the worst pain you have ever experienced, but chances are, in a weird way, it will probably be the pain you most appreciate.

Personally, the awful tooth ache I got when my daughter was three weeks old was far worse than giving birth- I remember telling my dentist that I preferred giving birth to suffering with that pain!

It all depends on your mind set and on how good you are at coping with the pain.
I wish you well honey. And to all those who want to tell you about their scare stories, just tell 'em to zip it till after you have had your baby!

It can't be that bad, I am a total pain wuss, but got through labour with just gas and air, and nothing for the birth.

Answer 8

It is very painful, I had an epidural with my first, which was great for pain relief but made my labour very long (45 hours) coz I was stuck on my back. My second was a water birth which was lovely but very very painful, it didn't help pain wise. My 3rd I had pethidine which was marvelous! It takes the edge off the pain and makes it bearable.

Don't be afraid, it is so different from any other pain but thats what drugs are for! The midwives will help you through. You might find you have an easy time of it. My sister in law can put her hand on her heart and say that her 2 labours didn't hurt! We all have different pain threshholds!

Answer 9

It varies from woman to woman. There are alot of factors that play into it, for example your pain tolerance. There are also pain management options available to you. You could get the epideral, and there are other milder pain meds available. With my first child I went natural. I went to lamaze classes, and that helped extrememely. I would suggest that to any expecting mother, because it is a great experience and you learn alot about childbirth (plus all the free stuff they give you:) With my second child I got the epideral because I forgot all the focusing techniques they tought me at lamaze, and it was hurting pretty bad. But, in all honesty, you completely forget about the pain after the baby is born, i don't really know why, probobly because of the euphoria. So I would suggest not obsessing about the pain before it happens, it is a very exciting experience, and the pain really is the last thing I remember when I think about it.

Answer 10

first off, unless you like pain, get an epidural! The epidural will numb your whole lower half of your body. Here is my story:

I was just as scared as you of giving birth. It would actually keep me up at night. So, I only got about 5 hours sleep when i realized i was going into labor. little signs like cramping lower back pain and all that. I was terrified in secret so i never that day, no naps nothing. Then night time came and the contractions weren't that bad, i had to do breathing excersises b/c it felt like a lot of pressure, no pain. Then by 7 in morning i was exsausted so i told my mom i needed to go to the hospital b/c i was delirious b/c i was tired and light headed from the breathing. So, i got there and i was only 2 cm. dialated! so i needed Pictocine (sp?) to speed up the labor process and the gave me a liquid pain reliever via I.V. and the relief was immidiate and i napped fo about 1 1/2 hours. then the meds started to wear off and by the time 4 hours went by i got another dose of meds. Then i napped some more. Then I woke up to get the epidural b/c i was 4 cm. dialated. The epidural was like magic!! I slept for the rest of my labor and when iwoke up the nurse was shaking my knee telling me i was 10 cm dialated and it was time to push!. The set up the leg things and 26 min. later my son was born. I was so relieved that it was so painless b/c of the meds was have out now that it is amazing!

The only painful thing was when the check how dialated you are. they have to stick the fingers up there to test. other than that it wasnt bad. plus they only do it til you are 4 cm. then they wait for the contractions to get larger and they test it then again but with the epidural it is like nothing!

Good luck sweetie!