My Sister has a problem with her husband to be family, my sister is a really nice person but his family are this small town lot that are always being really mean about her, they arn't happy about them getting married and always saying how she has an motive to marry him, he doesn't stand up to them as much as she wants him to and this is driving her mad if she didn't have a beautiful son to this really great guy she would have left him already. has anyone been in this situation and if so she's need to know what to do as what she is doing (being nice and trying to be plesent for his sake) is just not working and making her get really down about the whole relationship and inside aswell.
2006-10-15 09:14:50 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No one can make your sister feel bad. If she does not believe anything they are saying about her then her beliefs in herself should be enough to maintain her sense of self. She needs to take a stand and let her fiance know that she will not put up with negative talk from ANYONE, and if her in-laws can not respect her then she will not put herself in situations with them and her children either. It is not healthy for children to be around people that diss either of their parents. So it is up to your sister to stand up for what she knows is right and put an end to this negativity.
2006-10-15 09:24:33 · answer #1 · answered by In God's Image 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've seen similar situations in some of my freinds. What's most important for your sister to remember is the feelings she has for her soon-to-be husband. If she truly is in love with him and wants to marry him, then she should go forth with it. If the only thing keeping her in the engagment is her son, then it doesn't sound like a great idea. While the in-laws are a bad deal, it sounds like your sister needs to make sure she is marrying him for the right reasons. Also it sounds like your sister needs to sit down and have a serious talk with her husband. If she is going to marry into his family, she needs to make it clear to her husband that is it a partnership and that he needs to stick up for her and that his family needs to start giving her more respect. If the problem still continues maybe your sister needs to address the person/s that are being mean to her. Maybe his family doesn't realize how hard they are being on her and they just need to hear it aloud. Maybe if she tries to talk to someone in his family who is nice to her, they can pass on the message to the family- that she isn't feeling very loved or respected. Overall if your sister is a nice person, she needs to get to the root of why the family is so mean to her and talk to them about it and clear up any misconceptions. Also like I said I think she needs to consider why she's getting into a marriage. Good Luck!
2006-10-15 16:31:38 · answer #2 · answered by bear 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I am in exactly the same situation. My husbands family hates me. Including his kids (especially his kids). I have been nothing but nice to them. It is just that they are jealous because he is with me and I won't let them use and abuse him like they have done in the past. But tell your sister, to cheer up and not loose herself. It takes a strong and special person to handle a messed up family like that and if they don't like her now, it's not because of her and they will probably never like her. Tell her also that she really needs to think long and hard before marrying him, because unfortuanley they are his family and they are not going anywhere. And they will try to make her so miserable that she will back out. It will be easier to end the relationship now instead of doing it after they get married. And as far as the child goes, he has to take care of his child no matter what anyone says.
2006-10-15 16:26:45 · answer #3 · answered by jlbr711 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to take a stand and inform his family that the person they are talking about is his future wife and he doesn't appreciate what they are saying. They need to knock this crap off or risk losing him, what's it going to be? If someone cannot be man enough to take this stand, I'm not so sure I would marry him.
2006-10-15 16:27:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, if its true what you say on how if they didnt have a kid she would of left him already... well wake up and do so. maybe thats what he needs is a scare in his life. my hubby was a mommas boy and everthing they said ruled. it took a long while, patience, and a threat and now he does see the light more and agrees with me on things more than them. they pulled a lot of stunts on me before we wed and he sees it now and feels bad for me and defends me. i didnt try to put him against them by no means and he isnt. but he needed to see both sides of the story and that is what this dude needs to do too.
2006-10-15 16:44:55 · answer #5 · answered by countrygalsline 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to speak up and postpone the wedding until things become clearer between her and her future husband. If he cant stand up for himself, he will never stand up for her or his son. Believe me, i've been there.
2006-10-15 16:26:33 · answer #6 · answered by Jo.Elle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she had a problem with this guys family then why did she engage in a sexual relationship with him and wind up having his child? Maybe she should have known him and his family better before she spread her legs huh?
2006-10-15 16:18:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋