2006-10-15 08:41:35 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes I would.. but then again I am a single mom of 2 myself
2006-10-15 08:43:23 · answer #1 · answered by goodlookin.mama 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Based on what I know now after almost 7 years-----------------Nooooooo!!!! There are those very rare occasions that it will work out, but for the most part, no matter what the age of the kids it is only disaster. If the kids are underage, there is the x to deal with. And no matter how much they say they love you when it comes to the kids, they and the x are coming before you. And then heaven help us if the kids are grown. In most cases they are jealous and will do everything in their power to cause problems, even sometimes to the point of trying to get mom and dad back together. Then they will use the grand kids as a means of mom and dad having to see each other. Not to mention all the disrespect you get from them. And of course Dad takes their side over yours because you are not being fare and it ends up in a big fight between the two of you (just like the kids wanted) Maybe I sound cruel, but I know this from my own personal experience. In the beginning I bent over backwards to try to make my step kids part of the family and have been cussed out, threatened and all kinds of things. All because of jealousy. I would think very long and hard if I were you. But to keep you from a lifetime of hell just say no and be done with it. It is easier to get out before you get married than after those vows are said.
2006-10-15 08:59:54 · answer #2 · answered by jlbr711 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will take this one step back. I am at an age where my kids are grown up and gone. I would not date a man who had kids younger than 18 because I want a relationship free of the usual things that happens when there are kids at home. I have been there and done that as a single mom raising my kids on my own. I am ready for a life without the responsibilty of kids. Selfish? Probably. But I deserve to be at this stage of my life.
2006-10-15 09:04:14 · answer #3 · answered by littleflower_57 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course! Having kids before meeting you doesn't matter; it's the relationship between the two of you.
I married a guy after dating him for 3 years and he had two kids. I helped him to raise the kids and they are now 27 and 29 (they were 6 and 8 when we met). We are divorced now, but the daughter still considers me a part of her family and we keep in touch. Gee, after being around them for 20 years, no wonder she considers me a part of her family!
I am now engaged to someone else and he has 3 teen girls. Many may say, OH NO! Not teens! I say, oh yeah! These girls are awesome and already consider me a friend. We live about 10 blocks apart and I see them often, do things with them, etc. I am also friends with their mom, which helps everyone involved.
It's the relationship between me and my guy that matters the most, tho. If that relationship isn't good, then I wouldn't stick around. But, it is great! I have never been treated so well!
2006-10-15 08:47:51 · answer #4 · answered by honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being experienced in these types of relationships I would say that it all depends on you and you you feel about the situation. If you truly feel that you fit in with him or her and their kids then so be it. But don't for once allow your self to be placed in a difficult situation as to where the parent makes you feel guilty when you are not the legal guardian in the first place.
I know single parents make it their kids number one and that is totally fine, but some parents want there companions to put their kids number one also and that is not right either.
Raising step children is a difficult thing to do but can have its rewards. The children grow to love and respect you in turn making better relationships.
2006-10-15 08:57:23 · answer #5 · answered by shakira1babe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't marry someone just because they have kids then it probably isn't someone you would marry if he/she didn't have kids.
Integrating families is never easy but it's not impossible. If you really want to be with someone though these issues should be discussed prior to marriage or living together. Maybe if there are issues that cannot be agreed on then maybe you can live apart but still be together.
Where there is a will there is a way!
2006-10-15 08:57:59 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were in a position of looking, then having kids wouldn't be an impediment to me, at least simply having them. Now, the way she came about them would probably have an effect, since it would speak somewhat to her character. I mean, if she had 3 kids by 3 different guys from shacking up, then that's going to tell me a lot about her character right of the bat. But if she's divorced from a bad situation or widowed, well then that shouldn't be a problem.
2006-10-15 08:49:28 · answer #7 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. No freaky-deeking-way! Just because somebody else isn't fullfilling their responsibility, doesn't mean that I have to or am going to. A woman with a child will be nothing more than a 'booty-call'.
Tom Leykis 101 Dating Rule #1: NEVER, EVER date a single mother. You already know her stance on abortion, she won’t have one. Don't risk paying vaginamoney! PLUS, her kids will always come before you! Why would you want to be second place to some spoiled little brat!?!
Sounds cold... but reality always is.
2006-10-15 09:35:09 · answer #8 · answered by Larry F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, but this is not for the faint hearted...especially if those kids are older..teenagers are a pain in the A** for natural parents...for step parents....I have to hand it to the man or woman who steps into that mess....I have a step father who married my mom when my brother and I were 12 and 14...
Talk about hell on Earth! When he wasn't getting it, we were...but today, he is my FATHER, and I love him like you wouldn't believe. To this day, I have NO idea how he put up with a pair of snots that we were! But he did, stuck it out with my Mom, they celebrated 50 years before she died. But, he is still my dad. Good luck
2006-10-15 10:03:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I did. 20 years ago. He had 5 [4 grown, 1 at home]. I had 2, both at home. We loved each other and believed we could raise our children together. We celebrated our 20th anniversary in June. Kids are raised, married with children of their own. We're very happy.
2006-10-15 08:49:32 · answer #10 · answered by celticwoman777 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
right now i am dating some one that has two kids and i have a kid of my own.we are going to be married in 2008.so i guess i would say yes.i love his kids like they where my own.the only thing you have to really worried about is the ex.i mean i get along with my fiance ex but i know she does not like the kids to be around me.like she will only let them stay for two nights at a time and that is it.and they live 3hours away.my fiance kids always like being with me and their father.one has even said to me i wish you was my mom.i think being with some one has some challges to go throw but if you love that person then you will date that person.
2006-10-15 09:01:31 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋