My fiance left me 4 years ago when I fell pregnant with our baby although he did not want the child at the time. I tried everything to try and reconcille with him but he refused to have anything to do with me and the child. He now pays maintenance for the child involuntarily.
Last month he called me after 4 years and said he wanted us to be friends again but has refused to talk about or even see our son. I have met up with him once and could not even discuss our son and I am due to meet him again and have to pretend. I do not know what to do and how to integrate our son into the picture as he has warned me not to talk about him, but he wants to have a relationship with me. How can I have a relationship with him without involving our son? I feel it is morally wrong and I am torn apart with guilt when I see him and do not know what to do. Should I give him time to get used to the idea of his son or move on and refer him for counselling?
2006-10-15 08:14:22 · 12 answers · asked by nonsane7 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
How can you possibly consider a relationship without involving your son? This man obviously doesnt love you so why oh why are you wasting your time! You have a little man who loves you thats the best love in the world! dont ever deny your child!
2006-10-15 08:17:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has to decide on counselling for himself and as for him getting used to having a son he is 4 years old how long does he need how can you possibly have a relationship with him while you have to deny your son you and your son deserve so much more than he can offer you both you have coped without him for 4 years he has already proved what kind of man he is stay strong for you and your son don't allow him to lay down all these conditions the only person who has the right to do that is you
2006-10-15 08:32:55 · answer #2 · answered by miakaz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is ridiculous - how can you even be considering this! If he wont accept his son you can't just take him to counselling and hope he'll change. He's made it clear he doesn't want anything to do with his child - do you really want to be with a man so shallow who shows no regard for his child's feelings and wellbeing? Imagine your poor kid growing up and his father wanting nothing to do with him! That is emotional abuse - do you want that for your son? Your ex clearly doesn't care much for your feelings either if he thinks he can put this on you. Tell him you and your son deserve better than him and look for someone who will love and accept you both.
2006-10-15 08:33:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cannot conduct a relationship with this man without talking about your son. It should be the tie that binds you, but if he is not interested, then it is time to move on. What is going to happen when he gets serious with you and moves in-is he going to draw a white line down the middle of the house, one side for him, the other for your son!!!
2006-10-15 08:27:05 · answer #4 · answered by pete the panda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi!
Are you serious?
In my opinion, I think you have major self-esteem issues here. What makes you crave the arms of a total s**t such at this?
How can you look into the eyes of your beautiful little boy and betray him like this?
YOU need to MOVE ON - RIGHT THIS MINUTE.
Do not enter into any kind of dialogue with this snake from this moment on.
Your son does not deserve it.
Neither do you.
2006-10-15 09:28:14 · answer #5 · answered by Moofie's Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what an ars e, how low is your self esteem to even consider taking him back? your son is far better off without him and so are you! there so many lovely genuine men out there who would treat u and your son well, move on girl!!
2006-10-15 08:25:00 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Tallulah♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a JERK...who needs him for a friend or a father...take his money and be done with him...he's probably trying to butter you up to get you to agree to less child support... ditch the LOSER!
2006-10-15 08:21:32 · answer #7 · answered by i_love_my_mp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He knows you have a child together so if he's
not willing to be a man then just move on with
your life .you have no time to play with a little
boy.
2006-10-15 08:31:46 · answer #8 · answered by Felicia R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you can be a human being, I'll give you an answer. Get your self esteem first. God, what kind of person are you ???? U wanna forget ur son????
2006-10-15 08:43:39 · answer #9 · answered by kolugy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just tell him, that if he wants you, he has to except his son, or no deal! And stick by your guns!
2006-10-15 08:20:17 · answer #10 · answered by Gerry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋