i am not i wish i was but my father didnt have time to make that bond as a kid he cheated on my mom and was only home on weekends then every other weekend then when my mom raised me he moved back into the city when i was 16 and acted like he knew who i was and he had the right to tell me what to do .......when i knew him by name only almost as bad as it sounds a stranger who was obligated to spend 4days a month with me and my family (my mom and sister ) anyways im 19 now and we dont talk and i know now how important a father is to a son and if my dad taught me anything it was this how not to raise my son ......................i heard that the average father spends 13 minutes a day with their kids ..................this is sad no?
2006-10-15 08:07:59 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD WRITE HIM A LETTER TELLING HIM WHAT YOUR LIFE WAS LIKE, TELL HIM HOW MUCH YOU WANTED TO BE WITH HIM BUT THAT HE WAS ALWAYS DOING OTHER THINS.
DO NOT WRITE IN ANGER, DO NOT BLAME HIM FOR ANY THING OR HE WILL NOT GET WHAT YOUR TRYING TO SAY TO HIM YOU WANT HIM TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR TRYING TO SAY TO HIM.
JUST TELL HIM WHAT OTHER BOYS HAD, WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE LOVED TO DO WITH HIM, HOW YOU WOULD HAVE LOVED TO MAKE HIM PROUD BUT HE WAS NOT THERE TO SEE.
MAKE SURE THAT YOU TELL HIM HOW MUCH YOU NEEDED A FATHER AND HOW MUCH YOU WANTED TO DO WITH HIM BUT DID NOT GT TO
2006-10-15 08:11:38 · answer #1 · answered by K. B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
To be honest I think that, from his point of view, it would have been very important to fulfill his obligations as a fater to you. However, from your point of view, it's not quite so important. Psychologists talk about the imporance of parents and how earth shattering it can be if one of them is not around. I disagree. That's based on societal norms. If the societal norm was for a father to NEVER raise his own son, then your situation would be so standard that you would never have asked a question about it on here....
Basically what I'm saying is you shouldn't love or respect your relatives simply because they are related to you. You should do so only if they deserve it, and return it. The lack of a full time father in your life will only be damaging if you allow it to be by dwelling on it. Move along with life, get to know him now if you choose, and forget about what 'should have been' because frankly it will only be a problem for you if you decide it is.
Me? my parents were divorced when i was very young. I don't even know why. I saw my dad every other weekend, holidays, that sort of thing. We weren't REALLY close, but we talk more now than we ever did when i was young. It hasn't effected me in any adverse way that i can think of.
2006-10-15 15:16:43 · answer #2 · answered by pukid68 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad and I were best friends every Saturday was our day. From breakfast to dinner. Anyway my parents divorce when I was 13 and he still kept the same tradition for about 3 years after that. But I got older and moved away. My dad is now deceased and I miss him very much. It's been a long time since I've had my dad, but you are correct on one thing. He may not have taught you much, but he taught you how not to be a dad. Be the best father you can to your children. Because they will appreciate it and you all the more. You are a very wise young man.
2006-10-15 15:13:50 · answer #3 · answered by nytrauma911 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i believe that...I am friends with my dad but he wasnt the greatest when I was little. He would yell and he was hardly home cause he was always out working. Now I am 25 and he is a really good dad and a good person, but he taught me how to drive....my little brother though doesnt think to highly of my dad...my dad and mom have been married 26 years and my dad taught my brother how to drive but he never played baseball or anything like that....that just wasnt my dad. When we were younger it was harder to get by...now they can live easy...they are not hassled with money and kids living there. They seem happier...times where tough.
2006-10-15 15:14:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There has been a lot of years of disappointment and regret on both sides. Do you see an opening? Hello....Dad, want to spend the weekend together? I have a lot of stuff to say, if you are willing to listen. You must have things on your mind also, I am willing to listen.. wrong communication throughout years hopefully can be resolved in time. I was never able to transfer this to my dad, but have read of reunions that brought be to tears. Good luck, and happy reunion.
2006-10-15 15:21:08 · answer #5 · answered by lin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It IS sad - just goes to show, even Dad's who are around don't bother much. My Dad was pretty useless and avoided us all whenever possible. I'm late 40's, he's mid 80's now and is just realising what he's missed. The best thing is to do as you are; accept it for the life lesson that it was and be the best Dad to your own kids.
2006-10-15 15:15:12 · answer #6 · answered by youdancin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad was a good dad. Sadly, he died when I was only 20 (33 years ago). My sons' dad was not a good dad. But, my second husband was a good dad to them. They learned about being a good dad from him, not from their "real" dad. I'm proud of how they are there for their kids. My older son is a step-dad to 4 kids and is more of a father to them than their dads (2). My sons yearned for their dad to want to be with them. It's very sad when fathers (and mothers) abdicate their roles to others.
2006-10-15 15:26:55 · answer #7 · answered by celticwoman777 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well my mom and dad did not get married so a few years after i was born they split up but they still friends.my mom got married and had another kid and then they got a devorce bcuz her husban was cheating on her.she now has a boyfriend who has a son so on my moms side i hav 2 brothers and no sisters.:( on my dads side im an only kid so he spoiles me and takes me evreware.if my dad would hav been bad then i would hav killed my self.dont kill ur self though.lol.so 2 answer ur q i do bond with my dad for 3 days a week.
2006-10-15 15:15:13 · answer #8 · answered by ray-lyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
personally...i hate my dad, i call him the sperm donor. all he really did was ruin my moms life, my life, and eventually his own...he was a drunk and a junkie. i hear he's dying and i honestly don't care...
my honey is the kind of Daddy all kids dream of having! he has custody of his own kids and mine cry from time to time wishing he was their "real" Dad. he works all day...and after dinner he plays with all four of our girls for a good couple of hours before bedtime... he never misses a function or a field trip at school where he can play and act like a kid with a bunch of kids
needless to say, he's the fun one and I'm the disciplinarian!
does this help you any?
2006-10-15 15:17:45 · answer #9 · answered by bigmammarush 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes , this is sad , but you know , as much as dads are important for sons , sons are also important for dads , so if it wasn't your choice not to be with him , don't be sad , and he will regret it one day , I know many dads who are that ignorant , and don't spend even 3 second with their kids per day , so don't feel upset , and look at these nice things you have over there
2006-10-15 15:21:30 · answer #10 · answered by DeMeNtEd AnGeL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very sad....but these things are common in todays world...My dad left when i was 10 and ive only started having a relationship with him again....I cant speak for you but having my dad back in my life again is great....i hope you dont regret your decision. Good luck x
2006-10-15 15:10:47 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋