My ex-wife's theory is that she will ask my ten year old "do you have homework" or not ask at all. From that, if my daughter forgets, does poor work or decides to do it later, it is my daughter that will suffer the consequence. I understand responsibility but she is TEN. Discipline for homework? NOT. Now what I do is ask my daughters daily to break out their bags, I go through everything, see the results from everything that has been corrected and returned, discus it, good or bad. Then make them (younger sister) get started on HW. I even make them do I little more then prescribed by the teacher, like spelling just to make sure for the test and extra credit. Next, read a min. of 20 minutes. My ex and I have joint custody, one week on one week off. She feels I oversee too much, I feel she is failing our daughters. Please give some advice and if you could add credential so I can print and give to her. She may listen if I get enough input from teachers. Then again maybe not. Lol, thanks.
2006-10-15 07:35:50 · 5 answers · asked by Ray 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
I am adding to my last question, I do not search their bags; I was referring to getting their schoolwork out. Not their mess. I trust them immensely. As far as their mother and me we are like brother and sister now. Just disagree about this, I do believe do to her boyfriends input. She and I are both intelligent but did not have HW attentive parents so we never did our HW as kids. As an adult now I know the importance and I will not fail my kids. Heck even she knows the importance, she went back to school herself. And last, I do make it enjoyable as much as you can with HW.
2006-10-15 09:13:58 · update #1
Brudda, you doin' fine.
Surely you see the writing on the wall. You can visualize what will be said about whom (?) when the girls look back on this later. "Oh yeah, I'm a high-income earner 'cos MOM taught me good study skills and inspired me to strive for better" . . . right. God bless your availability & approachability.
2006-10-15 15:24:38 · answer #1 · answered by Zeera 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is great that you are so involved in helping your children succeed academically! The upside is that you will give them the necessary skills to study and to be successful (I sometimes which my parents weren't so lax); the downside is the you may be instilling a feeling of mistrust between you and your children. Backpack searches sound like something security guards do. Maybe if their grades keep up you can ease up and let them develop some self-confidence. Your last line about your printing this off to show your ex-wife signifies that this homework issue seems to be more about you and your ex-wife than your children and their parents. I have been a full-nanny to warring parents and one thing I did that really helped the child involved was for me to explain to her that her parents have different ideas about doing things and that constantly re-adjusting herself to their ideas every time she stayed with the other parent was difficult but unavoidable. The mere acceptance of that fact helped her enormously!
2006-10-15 07:57:09 · answer #2 · answered by Tink 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you Call your kids when you don't have them. Perhaps you could set up a time to call to help them with their homework.
Make it a routine. Routine and discipline are what help children in school and in life. As far as the extra that you require...its good to help them brush up. But if it isn't a pleasant experience for them. It will only make it that much harder for them to continue doing it.
My son is an avid reader. I let him pick out books at the library and let him read at his leisure. Reading should be a joy...Not a chore. Perhaps you could read to them or with them to start. Tone Down the judgment of your ex wife it will only make her feel resentful. Which in the long run will not Help your children feel secure and loved. Their Mother loves them just as much as you. She may bring things to their lives that you aren't aware of. Be a help...to your ex as well as your children. It will make things easier and much more comfortable for your children and you.
2006-10-15 07:47:02 · answer #3 · answered by Steph 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a father I always helped my son till his tenth birthday, but you can not assume that if you ask, they will tell you the truth!! So, be involved, don't help one minute see how far they make it, when they finally get accustomed to doing it on their own, then you can always ask to see, check their work, and since I went to school, I noticed they changed the way they worded some math problems.
And don't be afraid to ask them to explain it to you. I think it makes a bigger and better bond when your child see's that they can come to you with any kind of problem, or concern!!
2006-10-15 07:48:36 · answer #4 · answered by kendo2_2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well what you do sounds about right, it's not like you're actually doing your children's homework for them. I think it's good to have a parent that cares about their kid's grades and schoolwork because it motivates the kid to do well at school..
2006-10-15 07:50:16 · answer #5 · answered by hammer principessa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋