im in high school my brother and sister are both younger than me and our parents are getting a divorce our dad is an alcoholic -way- in denial. we are all trying to deal with it in our own ways but its seems that we are all holding it and i feel like we arent allowed to talk about it so i started by telling anyone who asks me how im doing i honestly tell them and i just dont know how to get my brother to loosen up hes the one i am most worried about because i know he needs his dad but he wont express his anger or grief and its really not healthy to do that. i just want him to be able to talk about it.
any advice on any of this? (doesnt have to be just advice about my brother but that would help too)
2006-10-15 07:21:31 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wow lol it sounds like you could be my sister try to get him involved in activities go to the school games together just hang out with him oh and im sorry about ur parents getting a divorce mine r to but its not that much of a bad thing for my cept some of it of course lol you can email me whenever you need to chat good luck
2006-10-15 07:26:23 · answer #1 · answered by Nightchild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well HC, I am sorry to here your parents are getting a divorce but sometimes it is for the best. My father is also an alcoholic, although I am much older now, when I was your age, I wanted my mom to divorce my dad but she didn't. To this day I still believe things would have been better if they had gotten divorced.
I don't know your situation but your brother may feel the same way. The only thing you can really do is pray and be their for your family. Alcoholism is a serious problem. By time I was twenty my father did make an effort to quit drinking and checked himself into Alcoholics Anonymous, where my family and I attended every family session the program offered. Things went well for a while. However, after three or four years, my father went back to drinking beer. Although things were not as bad when he was drinking hard liquor, they still could have been better. If your father is giving your mom anywhere near the amount of crap my mom put up from my dad, then believe me when I tell you that divorce is perhaps the best thing for them. I will be praying for you and your family. Peace and God bless.
2006-10-15 07:36:41 · answer #2 · answered by cave man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most girls are able to express their feeling a lot more then boys..boys are taught to hide their feelings, and not to cry..just talk to your brother, and tell him even if your parents are getting a divorce that you are still family..and if you are as smart as you sound, which i'm sure you are, maybe you can convince your mom to go and get you all some kind of counseling..that sure would help..as soon as possible..my brothers went threw the same thing..there is also a place you and your siblings can go and get support..that is Al-ateen..which is like al-anon, but is for children who has a parent or someone that is a alcoholic..contact your school counselor they can help you get info on that..blessings
2006-10-15 07:32:12 · answer #3 · answered by connie l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is never easy. My children suffered alot thru out my divorce. They were only 7,9 & 11.. I got them into counseling & talked with their school.. In the school that my childern attend we have a program called Banana Splits.. It is run by the guidance counselor at school.. kids who's parents are going thru divorce/separation attend the program. It gives them time to vent, get their frustration out & try to make them understand the why's. As the older sibling, you have a heavy amount of stress.. You & your siblings need to stick together & help each other thru it. Maybe you can suggest to Mom some couseling for all of you. One very very important thing is when there is a divorce, the children need to be told by each parent all the time how much they love their children. At one point & time my kids didn't think that Dad loved them anymore.. since mom & dad were living in separate houses & going thru with a divorce. I reassured my kids every day that no matter what happens between mommy & daddy.. We BOTH love all of you very very much. One of my sons told the guidance counselor that he didn't think that we loved him, since we weren't together anymore. You should probably talk to mom & let her know how you feel & if your younger siblings are uncomfortable talking to mom about it.. Be their voice. Sometimes as parents we get totally sucked into the whole legal thing with divorce.. that we tend to not be perfect & forget about the things we should be saying to our children everyday. I hope all works out for you & your family. Keep your chin up.. It will get better!
2006-10-15 07:38:40 · answer #4 · answered by Kammaka2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my mom left for someone else when she got her divorce. I'm was only 6 years old and didn't know what was going on. Just act like ur his best friend and say that if he needs help he can go to you and u should bring up the divorce. Hope this helps
2006-10-15 07:25:50 · answer #5 · answered by brown eyed gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its good you are able to talk. Seek counselling or speak to a social worker, an elderly relative or a preacher. I'm very sorry about your parents' divorce but it sounds like the best option for you guys. Stay strong.
2006-10-15 07:26:24 · answer #6 · answered by Sofia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well my parents seprated also two years ago.. and in my case i was the youngest... so right now just let your brother deal the way he thinks is best... he doesnt want to show any emotion probably cuz he feels that he will let you guys down... so hes trying to be the man of the house now..
2006-10-15 07:35:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont push your brother to talk...whwn he is ready he will open-up...just let him know that he has nothing to do with the break-up and that everyone still loves him....and no matter what they are still his parents....good luck....hold strong
2006-10-15 07:26:57 · answer #8 · answered by soda7020 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try your best to get them back together. try taking them to a family concillor,take them out to dinners, tell them to take you to any sports games ( if you've joined any) TOGETHER and so on...
2006-10-15 07:36:41 · answer #9 · answered by primeminister 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GO TO AL-ANON MEETINGS
GO TO TEENAGE CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLIC MEETING
IT WILL TEACH YOU HOW TO COPE.
IT WILL ALSO HELP YOU WITH YOUR BROTHER.......
2006-10-15 07:27:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋