sorry this is really embarrasing. My fiancee has been pressuring me for anal sex for some time now. I told her that I thoght it was unnatural and disgusting - and I wasn't into it. I figured she got interested in it from reading Cosmo or something -and her interest would pass. But it hasn't!. She has recently suggested that I was being selfish and a "prude" and to get with it because lots of people do it. In her last rant about it she confided that her old boyfrend did it all the time with her.
Help. She's a great girl in most other ways. I don't want to lose her over this. Im actually afraid that she will go back to her old boyfriend over this. Sorry for the unpleasant and gross topic.
2006-10-15 06:53:15 · 14 answers · asked by patrunnels 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Dump her. Pun intended.
2006-10-15 06:57:42 · answer #1 · answered by olampyone 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Not a bad question. Situation sounds bad to me.She is holding this over your head ? Her old boyfriend did it all of the time with her ? I am not saying good/bad on the topic of anal. I am saying that maybe things aren't that great with you guys if she doesn't respect your opinion. Everybody does it ? Ex boyfriend did it ? Free Love was popular in the 60s but that didn't make it right. I wasn't around then but I don't think that I would have liked my woman to be with other guys. The attitude was '' if it feels good then do it'' O.k., off target. Sorry. Anyway I would question her commitment or selfishness if she is really holding this over you.
2006-10-15 07:06:41 · answer #2 · answered by rock d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is a problem now, then it will always be a problem. Intimacy is very important in a relationship and respecting each other's needs should be high on each other's list, but you have to want to NOT made to under pressure. So with that said, maybe this is not the best match for you.
2006-10-15 07:07:20 · answer #3 · answered by I'llbdarn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't do anything you're not comfortable with, but maybe if you really think about why you're not into it, and the two of you discuss it, you can come to some middle ground compromise. Of course, you said she is your fiance, so sex is probably gonna end altogether for you when you get married, so maybe it isn't that big of an issue???(just kidding on that, but seriously, talk to her & explain why you feel the way you do!
2006-10-15 06:59:01 · answer #4 · answered by shuggiegurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you lose her over this, trust me it wasn't meant to be.
It sound like she wants to spice up your sex life, nothing wrong with that. Or she just might like to try it to see if she's likes its. It could be she's done before and really enjoys it and want to share with you.
It really up to you two to work this out. She might talk you into it after she explains why she wants to do it. She might think it's something all guys want to do and that you're too embarrassed to ask.
Good luck
2006-10-15 07:10:25 · answer #5 · answered by Richard 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just say no, you're not comfortable with it, it's not something you're willing to try. No need to further explain yourself. If she can't accept this, then it may be time to think about moving on. No one has the right to force you to do something like this if you're not willing.
2006-10-15 08:24:48 · answer #6 · answered by Jylsamynne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That part of the body was made with one function..... elimination of waste. It is not for sex. Tell her this. It isn;t healthy, can spread disease & infection, you don't want this, and if she doesn't accept it, move on. There are plenty of others who feel the way you do. You are neither selfish, nor prudish, but completely normal. Anal is deviant behavior, and filthy & disgusting.
2006-10-15 07:00:34 · answer #7 · answered by Squirrley Temple 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Dude please. Its embarrassing but you are not the only one with a girl who wants to stick it up your a**. My fiance was on that little tip for a minute. She would ask me if i would let her do it, i said no, she kept bugging. Finally i just put my foot down and gave it to her straight. She finally understood that i would be uncomfortable, and she dropped it. But if think that your girl would break up with you because of it, she is not the one for you. Its not that deep, tell her to grow up. Ask her if she would be uncomfortable if you wanted to do something to her that she thought was a little perturbing.
2006-10-15 07:05:49 · answer #8 · answered by mrmoonkc 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am totally on your side. If she doesn't want t accept your opinions then she isn't a good fute wie. Break off the engagement if things worsen. I don't belive your marriage is headed for a good path.
2006-10-15 06:57:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get the make it yourself dildo cast for your unit, and do her up the brown eye with that. Almost like the real thing. Maybe it'd be a good compromise.
2006-10-15 08:41:38 · answer #10 · answered by devilUknow 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if you "lost" her over this issue, then you NEVER HAD HER!!!
and thats the truth. bottom line.
so you have two choices: 1) you take it in the **** and invest in a lube company. 2) you stick to your guns and take the chance that this girl lives her life for anal.
i really think that you are gonna find that she will get over it.
but please don't blame it on cosmo... it was def NOT cosmo.
sugest she use a vibe or something to please her own ****!
2006-10-15 06:58:48 · answer #11 · answered by don't be rude. 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋