I've been going out with my boyfriend for over ten months and I'm seventeen. I'm afraid of the next step sort of. My parents said that I have to tell them when we are going to sleep together because of going on the pill and stuff but at seventeen I can go to the doctor alone....so I know they're just doing this to control me but I feel like I cant do it because I will feel guilty. I am totally in love with guy by the way so that doesnt come into it.
2006-10-15 06:42:36 · 26 answers · asked by Naomi N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
When you are ready you'll no longer need to ask people "when will I be ready" ... you'll just know ..... and don't be too hard on your parents ... they didn't say DON'T sleep with him ... sounds like they just care for you and want to look after your health and wellbeing
2006-10-15 06:45:38 · answer #1 · answered by Ruthie Baby 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Your body is ready to have sex. It sounds like your heart is ready as well. It doesn't sound like your mind is ready.
If you've been going out for 10 months and your boyfriend hasn't pressured you into it, consider yourself blessed and take the time to figure this thing out for yourself.
You don't HAVE to have sex. There are plenty of good reasons not too. And, waiting is OK. I didn't wait until my wedding night for my first time, but I waited until I was good and ready with every guy that I ever eventually slept with. I was still a virgin at 20, and we had been dating 5 years before consumating our love! Allowing someone's penis in to your body is a BIG deal, especially for the first time ever. Don't let our culture or anyone else trivialize that for you. You only get that first time ONCE, you have the luxury of allowing it to happen when you are totally ready in every way. Be glad for that gift.
So, from the little that you said, it looks like you should start wondering why you would feel guilty. As answers come to you, keep asking yourself, why you think/feel that way. See where that process takes you... In addition, your "quandry" is absolutely appropriate subject matter for you to discuss with an adult that you can confide in. Talking this out will help you figure out how you wish to proceed.
I'm not the kind of person who thinks it's appropriate to just tell kids to abstain. I think it is entirely a personal decision and I don't judge anyone for either choice. It can be a somewhat tangled issue for some because we seem to have so many "shoulds" attached to sexuality. I hope that you can find an adult to talk to that is fair-minded. Planned Parenthood would be a good place to start.....
Good luck.
2006-10-15 14:15:05 · answer #2 · answered by tinkerbella 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi, I know how you feel cause am 17 as well. I've been threw the samething so i know where you are coming from. I have a mother who told me the samething. She told me when am ready for sex to let her know so she can put me on the pull. She did not tell me that to hurt me she told me that because she cares about my well being as well as my health. She is not trying to control you, she's just looking out for you, cause she loves you. Same way my mother is. And you don't have to feel guilty. Your parents just want you to feel safe. The biggest mistake you can ever make is getting pregnant and having a baby you might not want. Please don't take what I say the wrong way, but your parents make alot of since. And as for sex, you will be ready when you feel, it in your heart. Just don't give it up to quick, make sure from the bottom of your heart, he's the one. And when you are thinking about love, make sure its a unconditional love and not a temporary love. A temporary love is a love thats for a little while but later it soons starts to fall apart, but an unconditional love is a love that lasts forever even when you think it won't.
2006-10-15 14:14:56 · answer #3 · answered by Bridgette A 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You will be ready after you go to the doctor, get on the pill, and understand all of the responsibilities that go along with having sex. (Like using a condom for STD's, the possiblilty that you could still get pregnant, etc.) Your parents are not being controlling. They care about you! They don't want you to get hurt, pregnant, or wind up with an STD. You are lucky to have parents that are so understanding and love you! Then, if you truly love your boyfriend and believe that he truly loves you...you will be ready.
2006-10-15 13:54:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are the only one that can control when you are ready to have sex. Your parents, bf or friends should tell you when you should have sex. If you love him and you know that both of you are REALLY ready then go for, but talk to someone about being safe. Make sure that you are careful.
2006-10-15 13:52:15 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you really love him, let him know you care, and that is not by sleeping with him. 10 month is still too early. I'm 18 and my girfrien have never ask or vice-versa, and we plan to keep it like that until we get maried or have plans to do it. Take my word, is a real wast to ruin a relationship this way. But in the end is your life so if you feel you are redy and you can handle it, try it out. But remember about the protection.
2006-10-15 13:49:28 · answer #6 · answered by Ruben Otero 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
When you are ready you will know it, It is good to hear that your at least seventeen and have not done it yet. Good luck.
2006-10-15 13:47:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not prepare, it is better if you talk to your parents and go to the doctor first , there are a lot of things you have to know after having sex .believe me , and don't forget to take the pills!
2006-10-15 13:47:43 · answer #8 · answered by florencia s 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hi how are you if your wondering when the best time to have sex its when your heart tells you don't rush it if you and your bf really love each other you will both do it when the time is right with no pressure take care OK Honest Eyes
2006-10-15 13:52:36 · answer #9 · answered by honesteyes 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
is your bf pusing the issue or is it you. if it is him then he can wait until you are legally grown. if it is you then there are other ways to be pleased than having actual intercourse. Don't rush it because it is something you can not get back. I am not saying you or your boyfriend are not in love but just take it slow.
2006-10-15 15:20:42 · answer #10 · answered by gxsr600 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋