I do not think my marriage will be lasting much longer. We have a daughter, and I do not work at the moment, I am going to school. Since my husband is the provider, can I set some of our money aside in case it does come down to my leaving? I would get a job if this happened of course, but I would need some money to get myself and my daughter on our feet at first. Can I do this, since its HIS money??
2006-10-15 06:36:42 · 12 answers · asked by udontneedmyname 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
HIS $??? Who cooks, does laundry, cleans, etc. etc. etc????
What do you think it would cost to pay someone for this?
You have every right to put your plan in motion for you and your daughter.
2006-10-15 06:45:44 · answer #1 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know where you live. But, here in California there are community property laws. All monies, property and debt that come into a marriage during the marriage are shared equally by both parties. Forgetting that for a moment, you need to take into account that what you do for your home and family has a value.
The answer to your question is yes it is okay to set aside some dollars for an emergency that could be you and your daughter leaving.
But, having said that let me give you some advice. Divorce should be like war. It should be undertaken as a last resort. Unless there is abuse involved, I ask you to think it through and explore the options including counseling, making changes in your own life to give you more happiness (like a vacation just for you and a friend or your daughter).
If there is abuse involved definitely get out, there is help out there for you.
If there isn't, talk to your husband about this. Tell him that you are worried about the marriage, you are not happy and that you want to try some things to make it better.
2006-10-15 13:53:57 · answer #2 · answered by BParker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is not the answer it is made out to be. You'd just be trading one set of problems for another. Life is full of problems and never easy for anyone. It only appears that way when we are on the outside looking in to the lives of others.
Your husband may be the provider, and how blessed you are that is. Many, many women bear a great burden trying to provide or help provide financially. But the money is not his. It is yours and his. Your part of the marriage is carried on at the home front. But since you are one in marriage you have all things common and man and wife.
I don't think you can save yours and you husband's money and then leave and take it all. Half of it would still be his.
P.S. Your daughter needs you to love her father and make a home for both of them. Not contemplating "bailing out of the ship".
2006-10-15 13:54:37 · answer #3 · answered by delmaanna67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well when its marriage its both of yours. However when you go thru the divorce proceedings.. You will have to fill out a net worth statement. So any $'s you've put away, you will have to show. This really is not the right thing to do.. But if things are coming to an end, etc... I would have a close friend/family member hang onto some cash for you.
2006-10-15 14:20:14 · answer #4 · answered by Kammaka2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you can since your married its also your money thats the beauty of marriage make sure you do set aside something why leave with nothing thats not fair to you or your child i think you should think about getting a job now so that when this divorce does happen your alredy have your own money as well plus working gives you a good feeling of being independent and secure so make sure you think through all your options and make good choices good luck
2006-10-15 14:35:14 · answer #5 · answered by lisaisfunn1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is NOT his money. I think you are thinking the right way. I hope that things work out but if you see that it may not then I would certainly do that but if things end up working out, DO NOT tell him what you did. Good luck!
2006-10-15 13:49:10 · answer #6 · answered by Florida 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely need to stash some cash. The money belongs to BOTH of you. Don't let guilt creep in here. You have every right to protect your future.
2006-10-15 13:55:07 · answer #7 · answered by Black Market Beauty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not HIS money....it's BOTH your money....as much yours, as his. Yes, by all means you need to put some money back....just in case! It will be a lifesaver once you decide what you want to do.
2006-10-15 13:52:47 · answer #8 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes,go ahead
2006-10-15 13:39:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually its not "his" money because your married. The property (cash and otherwise) belongs to both of you
2006-10-15 13:40:04 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋