You're the only thing in my life
The only thing I care about
You're the only thing that matters
You understand what Im going through
You're the only one who talks to me
Talks me through all my pain
Talks me through my life
You stopped me from running
Running away and destroying
Destroying what's left
What's left of my life
My life is somewhat better
Because of you
2006-10-15 05:54:48 · 15 answers · asked by candy12424 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
Sounds like you are going through some kind of a healing process after you experienced a lot of pain. You should write more, the poems will probably come to you in this time more than before. And you should not be afraid to write down everything, even if it sounds strange to you. This is very relieving, very helpful. It is a gift when you can write in this period of your life.
2006-10-15 05:59:25 · answer #1 · answered by spaceskating_girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a nice snap shot of your emotions. May I make a suggestions? In the next to last line, you seem to contradict the rest of the poem by the use of the word "somewhat." You give the person praise for being the only thing that matters, etc. The negative connotation of "somewhat" seems not to fit. If you wanted to leave space for the other parts of your life that are still not good, then the word does that. If you drop the word "somewhat," it reads with more power for the person who has changed your life.
2006-10-15 06:04:54 · answer #2 · answered by DinahLynne 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like a poem only a letter with a lot of fragmented sentences. Sounds very basic and comes across boring.
2006-10-15 06:04:34 · answer #3 · answered by barbie2 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Very Poignant. The emotion comes through nicely, good job, keep it up!
2006-10-15 05:57:20 · answer #4 · answered by Marty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow thats really good, i have gone to a couple writing clinics, and though mostly they were only on more story-esque things we did do a little poetry, and i think the last line "because of you" is very powerful
2006-10-15 05:58:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep expanding upon it - sounds like you have a good basis for writing a song!
:)
2006-10-15 06:19:12 · answer #6 · answered by Vicki70 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i guess its okay...but i think you need to get a flow of the poem going...have nice transitions between each line and have it going smoothly
2006-10-15 05:57:58 · answer #7 · answered by desiladki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The peom must come straight from your heart, isn't it. It natural, simple and true.
Is it destined to God hummm or your Doudou?
Well done.
2006-10-15 06:04:13 · answer #8 · answered by Rosita 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How about that u say it to the one who u wrote it for... that would be the best critics:)
2006-10-15 06:00:56 · answer #9 · answered by Kaja 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not very good. It needs to flow more. It sounds very cliche, but the emotion in it is good.
2006-10-15 06:17:08 · answer #10 · answered by Savannah 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋