is anyone else going though this?

Question

I have A 6week old and I feel so alone I have no help no breaks and I have been with her father for 10 years but he doesn't help he doesn't change her and every time he watches her he fall asleep I can even leave her wioth him i'm afraid something will happen to her. I'm I the only one going through this or are there other women in my situation?

No my family doesn't help I only have my mom and she has her own life. I try not to bother he with my problems.

Answer 1

Have a heart to heart with your husband/boyfriend and let him know how you feel (in a nice way). Tell him how much it would mean to you if he helped raise this baby too. Also, join a moms group. Sure, your baby is too young to play with the other kids but atleast you'll be around other new moms. You'll be surprised how many other moms go through the same things.

Answer 2

My son is almost 6 weeks old and I understand that they are a handful. Between the feeding and the diapers it can sometimes be too much. My husband works all day and is not a great deal of help at night. He will hold him but not to long. Here are the things that I have done to help me get through.
1.When the baby is sleeping take a shower/bath and just relax.
2. Don't be afraid to let the baby cry if you have done everything that you can for him.her.
3. Sleep when the baby sleeps.We dont need to be super moms.
4.Get a swing!!! It saved my life and my arms
5. Take a trip to the mall and just walk with the baby. The motion puts the baby to sleep and gets you out of the house.
6. Don't be afraid to ask your friends/family to help you out.Even if you are home they could help you with wash or making dinner.

All that is for you. I would talk to the father about his lack of fathering. Maybe a parenting class would help.

Answer 3

When I had my two children (who are 9 and 7 now) I had really no help whatsoever. My husband worked nights back then and all of their care was left up to me. My family had their own lives and jobs and couldn't help me out and I was basically in a neighborhood where people didn't help one another out.

I know it seems difficult right now but hang in there. I think all mothers have been through phases of motherhood when their babies are little and they feel alone. The best advice I can give you is to find some time just for you. When the baby is asleep take a hot bath or read a book. Talk to other mothers your age who have small children and ask them how they got through it. Also talk with the baby's father. Tell him that he helped bring the child into the world and it's his responsibility as well to help take care of her.

Answer 4

I'm not going through the same thing, but my heart sank a little when I read your details. :( First of all, I think you SHOULD talk to your mother about this. Even though she has her own life, her family IS her life. That's you and your kid, kid. She can be a source of great comfort when you're going through tough times. Second of all, you need to tell your man how you're feeling. He might be a jerk about it and chalk it up to hormones, but he needs to know that he's not doing his part. Perhaps if he knows how alone you feel, he'll make more of an effort. I also think you should seek support from an outside group of some sort. Check with your local YMCA or even a church to see if there are support groups for new moms. I'm sure there are lots of women who feel the way you do. Supporting each other will help you ALL get through this huge transition in your life. Best wishes!

Answer 5

i raised my twins completely alone (except for my 4 year old son) and it is hard. i wouldnt leave them with their father either. Work at getting your child to sleep through the night and relish those breaks. I know those were the only breaks that i got (except for when i went to work). I look back now and i know that it was only with the help of God i made it this far. Being a mom isnt an easy job but i know that you can do it!! My girls are 7 years old and my son is 11 and ive made it this far and im still alive! If you need anyone to talk to feel free to email me ok??

Answer 6

I had the same problem with my husband. He did nothing at all with my daughter. My daughter is now a year old and he has changed a bit. Now that she is walking and playing he is more involved. He still doesn't change diapers or feed her or anything, but if I need to run out he will watch her. She cuddles up to him and smiles and him. This is the time he enjoys with her now. Hopefully your man will change as the baby gets older. A lot of men aren't comfortable with newborns. They prefer toddlers and older. Try to have a hot bath every now and then when the baby goes to sleep. That will be the mommy time you need for the time being.

Answer 7

I totally feel your sorrow. I have 3 kids, 11, 5, and 1 and their father acts like he doesn't even have kids. He comes and go out the house without checking to see if I need help.
I manage to get through the day sometimes by praying and when I finally get a break, I meditate. I sleep when my baby sleeps it might be hard sometimes like when the house needs to be clean but I say I'll do when I can. Asks family memebers can they watch the baby for a couple of hours so you can have some time to yourself like a long bath or a walk through the park.

Answer 8

My baby is 8 months old and I don't think my husband has changed more that ten diapers the whole time she's been alive. I also don't like leaving her with him. I would try to make the opportunity for them to be alone as little as possible. I think that if he isn't willing to help you then you need to confront him. He helped make the baby he needs to help take care of the baby. Talk to him and if he still refuses. see if he will go to counselling. I asked my husband to go to counselling about alot of other stuff too along with the helping with the baby thing and he refused so that is when I decided that I was going to leave. I haven't done it yet, but it is in the works.

Answer 9

It is very normal feeling overwelmed with a newborn. I felt that way with the birth of each of my three children. It will get better! Newborns are very demanding and you will get little sleep. Around three months seems to be when everything starts to settle down and get a little better. The best thing that I can suggest is to get into a routene as soon as possible especially at bed time. Start with giving them a nice warm bath, and dimming the lights. Try singing or reading to them and then nurse or bottle feed them till they are asleep. If you do this every night your baby will begin to recognise the pattern and understand that it is time to get ready for sleep. You are not alone! Babys are very hard and really change your life! But with time you will begin to feel more confident. You are doing a good job! Hang in there! Talk to a nurse at your local health unit. They are there to support and help. They are great for advice especially if you feel you have no one to go to. Good luck! :)

Answer 10

I'm going through almost the same thing. My husband drives truck and doesn't get home very often when he is working(maybe once or twice a month). When he is home he is so tired that all he wants to do the first day is sleep. Well, a lot of company's that he works for they only give him one day off at home. I understand that he works hard, so he can't help me with our son to often. If he does get more days off he will help me if I ask him to, but its like pulling teeth to get him to do anything.

My husband told me once that he was affraid of our son. He didn't know what to do if he cried or if something else were to happen to him. Well, the only way to learn is to through him into the mess, so I still went to the store and made my husband look after our son. I guess that he called his mom and his sister, but they couldn't help my husband, because they were not there, so my husband had to handle it on his own.