There is this girl at work, a manager that suspects that i'm gay. It's a small rural community, so it's the end of the world if someone is. She fake flirts with the other female manager only when i'm around, and watches to see how i'll react. (i'm a girl btw) I dont know how to handle this. It's humiliating and none of her business. Her and a few coworkers are constantly talking about me and making fun of me. They don't respect me enough to do it behind my back. It's as if i don't exist. I can't tell her and the others off because she's my boss! I've thought about looking for another job, but I've put time in that hell hole and want to use it as a reference. I fear it would be the same situation at any other fast food job due to the community's hatred of gays. What do I do about this?
2006-10-15 05:31:24 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
yeah i should probably add that i cant move, family obligations...
2006-10-15 05:39:09 · update #1
i'm 18 you moron, i graduated with high honors and i'm in college oh and btw they're shaved
2006-10-15 05:46:17 · update #2
Here's the deal... I am a manager and I know that what she is doing is wrong! Do not allow her to belittle you that way! You are your own person and you have a very powerful voice if you choose to use it! If you are afraid to come out then you should go to another job. If you are already out and just worried about what they will say then you are just holding yourself back! Look at it this way... They are already talking about you so make their comments true! Please don't run from them cuz then they will win! In the words of Bob Marley! STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGTHS! Don't go around saying poor me but hold your head up high and kill them with kindness!! Next time you hear her fake flirting just say out loud "your cool" and walk out of the room! Be strong and good luck!
2006-10-16 04:36:37 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to know how much of this you have already tried, but if I were you, I'd make a point to say that it is none of their business what your private life is about, and the one thing you can say without question is that you are not attracted to the one who "fake flirts" in any way, and wish she would leave you alone. You do not need to tell them or even give them hints as to your own gender preferences, only that SHE is certainly not a preference for you!
The next time they start talking about you in front of you, point out to them that they are being terribly rude, making unwarranted assumptions about you, and generally making themselves look very foolish and childish.
Hope it helps! There may be no solution short of waiting until you feel you can start looking for a better job. Perhaps the family obligations that keep you in the small town could be adjusted so that you can work somewhere with a little more modern attitude.
2006-10-15 14:35:44 · answer #2 · answered by auntb93again 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look for another job while you are still working there. It's illegal for your manager to give a reference full of unsubstantiated rumor. Besides, you can request that the place you are applying not contact your current employer unless they are about to hire you. (There's no point staying where you're being ridiculed! You can't win there and it's time to move on.)
Try looking for work on campus or in something where employees tend to be more educated and interested in the broader world. Better yet, check with your school about getting an internship in your area of study. At the same time, focus on grades so that you can transfer to a university - college towns are much more accepting, and you'll get a better education, meaning better job opportunities in the end.
Good luck.
2006-10-15 13:03:36 · answer #3 · answered by Alex62 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it's a franchise or corporate owned restaurant, contact HR at the corporate HQ. This is sexual harassment and creating a hostile work environment, and Corporate will be eager to make sure they don't end up getting sued over it.
If it's a small, locally owned place, you may be SOL. You can try talking with the owner or contacting the EEOC, if you're in the US (http://www.eeoc.gov/).
2006-10-15 13:45:03 · answer #4 · answered by Fraggle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i am in management and i can tell you it is against the law for anyone to be harassed because of their sexuality.I understand where you are coming from-i have seen it happen,and it breaks my heart to see it.A person can not help who or what they are-regardless of what the public thinks!You shouldn't have to look for another job-you need to address this issue to the right person-she on the other hand may lose her job!You could also go to the labor dept. on this!Do not stand for this-don't let some low life make your life miserable!Take up for yourself!!!!!
2006-10-15 14:39:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well..Just ignore them, if you show them that it bothers you, or react to your manager, or even show it in your body language that you are bothered by you..they will get a thrill out of it..so just go on about your business and ignore them....act like it did not even phase you.
2006-10-15 12:35:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact the labor board. It's against the law to discriminate against ones sexual orientation....
2006-10-15 17:01:37 · answer #7 · answered by Lipstick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you could go after them for creating a hostile working environment there are laws against that. no matter what your sexual orientation
2006-10-15 12:38:46 · answer #8 · answered by Ron N 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to upper management cuz they probably wouldn't give you a good reference anyhow!
2006-10-15 13:26:01 · answer #9 · answered by maddog1968 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mve t a more accepting place, besides u gt more freedom with ur sexuality.
2006-10-15 12:37:24 · answer #10 · answered by ca4btts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋