I am so hurt right now, I ended my realtionship after 2 yrs and I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, but I'm not so sure now. I miss him so so much it hurts. We didn't try counseling together and i am thinking that maybe we should of. All of my friends say he wasn't good for me. They say that he mentally abused me and controlled me. I was happy with him, but noticed that our life revolved around each other and our kids. He lived with me for 2 yrs and his kids would come and visit on the weekends. I miss them too so much. I am not sure that I did the right thing. Everyone says that time will heal, but it seems like it is getting worse for me. I hurt so much that all I feel is like crying. He has been gone for a week only. He is texing me and talking with me, should I text him back and talk with him? I am not sure what to do here.
2006-10-15 05:24:50 · 7 answers · asked by ELIZABETH Y 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Honestly, if it didn't work before, what has changed that will make it work this time? You are lonely, and yes, you miss someone that has been in your life for two years. That is only natural. Only you can answer whether or not you miss him enough to get back with him, but realize that if you do, it's only a matter of time until whatever broke you up, occurs again. It will hurt worse the next time it happens. If possible, you need to move on without him.
2006-10-15 05:48:10 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All your friends say that he wasn't good for you in what way. Mental abuse what was he doing? Telling you that you were a dumb b****, a lazy slob, a lousy mother. There is nothing wrong with your life revolving around each other and the kids that is exactly how it should be when you are in a relationship. If this man didn't want you hanging out at the malls or going out clubbing with your friends then he was absolutely right. When you are in an relationship the other person should be the most important thing in your world which expands to include any children, any relatives he wants to be around as well as pets. Being able to accept this is an important part of growing up which many of us do at different ages. Just because someone is 25 or 40 doesn't mean that they are grown up maturity wise. If this man is really mentally abusive then suffer through the separation and leave it be.
Sometimes girlfriends give good advice and sometimes their advice really sucks because they don't know any better.
2006-10-15 12:43:31 · answer #2 · answered by oldmomma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust yourself! You did the right thing. He's only been gone a week so everything is still fresh. Listen to what all your friends are saying, they're trying to help you. Being in a relationship where there's mental abuse and controlling is not healthy for you or your children. It's very stressful and can start affecting your mental and physical health and will do the same for your children. In any relationship you should have interests outside of yourselves and the kids. But when there's a control freak, they're going to make sure everything you do revolves around them. Would you love and miss a neighbor or co-worker who mentally abused and controlled you. Of course not. Well it's the same thing with him. Start making a new life for yourself. Get rid of everything that reminds you of him. Join a local church and get involved. Get a hobby. Learn knitting or crocheting. Try something challenging and new like learning a foreign language or learning sign language just to name a few. Maybe for the time being it would be best if you did not have his children over. You need to get your life back on track first. You need to steer clear of this man until he gets some help for himself and learn how to treat and respect women. Block out his phone number and text messages. Hurting without him isn't nearly as bad as hurting with him. Stick to your decision. You will get through this.
2006-10-15 16:51:43 · answer #3 · answered by merry59 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling is good if both people are willing to listen and work at the relationship. If both of you give it your best shot you may be OK. However, from you question I see that your friends have a different view of this guy and how he treats you. You are the one who ended the relationship. There must have been a good reason for you to take that action. Give yourself some time away from him. Do not call or text him. Just take a break and see how your feel in two weeks.
2006-10-15 12:29:06 · answer #4 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him, then answer his calls and suggest you two go out and sit down alone and talk, bring up the idea of counseling, to see if he might be willing to go. He may surprise you.
Don't let others tell you what to do, only you know your heart !! Make your own decisions, if you make a mistake, learn from it and go on, and not repeat it later.
2006-10-15 12:31:08 · answer #5 · answered by gemini1962jph2001 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a tip from Ann Landers. Ask yourself if your life is better with or without him. If you answer, "No," you have to live through the hurt and know that things will get better.
2006-10-15 12:28:58 · answer #6 · answered by brenbon1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go with what made you happy. i dont know what the reason was you left him for but you have to go with what your heart tells you.
2006-10-15 13:42:14 · answer #7 · answered by Joe B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋