I need Good Advice. Seriously....?

Question

I am a 31 year old mom of 3 and I'm married. I obviously keep making mistakes. I was put on probation 3 yrs. ago, and just violated it for the 2nd time, with a new charge. I know what I'm looking at. But, I don't know what I should do. Should I run? Should I hire the best damn attorney and fight? Should I just lay down, plea guilty and take the punishment or what? Does anyone have serious suggestions on what I should do? Or has anyone been in the same bind?

Ok, some of you are cruel. Yes, I should be more of a role model for my kids, and yes, I think I'm to old to make mistakes. But that does not mean I am not a good mother, or that I don't love my kids w/ all my heart and more. Just help w/ the issue. Not on my age, or that I'm married or that I have kids.

Answer 1

To be honest with you .... since you don't seem to learn from your mistakes, perhaps taking the full punishment will help you learn and the lesson will finally sink in.

Answer 2

I agree with the others. The children are the important ones.

However, Not knowing what you did I can only say that you need to get this behind you. You obviously know where you are making the mistakes so it's time to make some life changes. Move or get away from the influence that keeps dragging you down.

Running will only compound your problems. How would you like to be discovered in your hiding place and have the children placed in foster care, maybe hundreds of miles from where your at?

I have seen people that are in you spot and until they take responsibility for their actions, the children suffer and will grow up to have similar problems. You don't want or need that.

Good luck and do the right thing.

Answer 3

I think you need to grow up. You are in your 30's and have three children...are you a good role model for them? I think not. What is your problem anyway, what are these charges for, why can't you get your act together? Get counseling and find out. Then become a responsible adult. As far as court, I suggest you fess up that you have a problem and take what you deserve. Maybe then you will change your life. The money that would go to an attorney could go to your kids college education. Face the music honey.

Answer 4

You did not say why you were put on probation or how you violated it. The nature of these events will effect the amount of help available to you.

Running is probably not a good idea, you will be looking over your shoulder the rest of your life.

I am assuming that the consequences of violating your probation may include imprisonment. Unless you have a resilient support network, this may put your marriage and your children at risk.

I have never been in your situation, but I would advise you to hire the best lawyer you can and fight it.

Answer 5

You can always talk with an attorney and ask there opinion on your case. What ever you do don't run, that will only make it ten times worse you would probably go to the pen and lose your kids. The judge will probably just extend your probation or give you a fine or both. my ex-husband tried to stab his dad (felony) he got probation then he got caught shop lifting in another state he is still just on probation, they sent him to a last chance program he has a drug problem when he dries out he will go to a half way house and he is over $60,000 behind for child support i don't think you could of done anything to have your probation revoked. Usually you have three strikes before its revoked that's how it is in my county.

Answer 6

You are 31, you are not getting any younger. I think you need to cop to what you have done, take it on the chin (cause in your heart, you know that is what you need to do), pull your time get help , change your ways, start getting your life back together get your kids and show them and prove to them how much you love them. Give them a mother they can be proud of. I've got a daughter on probation right now, on Nov. 7, she will be sober 1 year, she got in trouble over a drug charge. It hasn't been easy for
her, I'm so very proud of her I cannot tell you. You can do it I
know you can, it is done every day. Good Luck to ya'.

Answer 7

If your husband won't divorce you because of your crime then the best thing to do is to suck it up and face the punishment,the old saying " DONT DO THE CRIME UNLESS YOU CAN DO THE TIME" I feel sorry for your kids.If you keep making mistakes as you call them maybe you could get professional help that might delay or even put off sentencing,if your lawyer will tell the judge your in a mental hospital (state) maybe you could learn something from counsling. Good luck!!

Answer 8

Running won't help, especially since you've already screwed up so many times. You'll just screw up somewhere else. If you can afford a good attorney, you should fight. We all know that just because you are guilty of something doesn't mean you have to pay for it, on the other hand, if you know you are just going to screw up again, why waste the money? My advice, for your husband and kid's sake, just plead guilty and take your punishment. Why should they have to pay for your stupidity?

Answer 9

What stronger motivator than your own kids could any women have in life to STOP making mistakes? Lady I have no pity for you, it is your children I feel sorry for. You made your choices; the poor kids were born into your mess. If you won’t quit doing the crime, you deserve to pay the time. Hopefully your husband is a better, stronger person than you and he will be able to provide and take care of your children.

Answer 10

Go see a Lawyer. You probably don't have money, so find a pro bono attorney who should give you the best advice. We all make lawyer jokes, but there are a lot of very dedicated lawyers who exist to help people like you recover from mistakes.

Answer 11

I have never been in a situation like that before but my advice is to think of your children. What would be easiest for them. I can say that if you "run", it will cause them alot of distress and agony. Maybe you do need to hire an attorney and take it 1 step at a time.