I know so many whiners and complainers and people who intentionally make mistakes, and they seem to prefer that lifestyle even when the opportunity for success is right at their doorstep and asking to be taken in exchange for minimal effort. This love of being hurt and powerless totally confuses me. Why do people do it? Why do people empower/encourage others to do it?
2006-10-15 05:06:07 · 8 answers · asked by Andy 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
PS: most of the people with which I associate are not failures and victims. I chose to network with only those who are interested in success and happiness. It's just that I see a lot of examples of the other kind of people on the news, in talk shows (most recently on the Susy Orman show last night), through third-party accounts, and sometimes through an overheard conversation, and it really confuses me.
2006-10-15 05:35:45 · update #1
The motivating reason for asking this question is my observation of many successful, hardworking people who embrace the idea that they are failures and victims. They like to think that they are doing very badly when in fact all the evidence reveals that they highly successful in those areas. They beat the odds, but believe that they worse than those who continue to accept defeat by those same situations. Can anyone speak to that?
2006-10-15 06:40:26 · update #2
They do it because they get rewarded for it. They don't try to succeed because it is possible they have never had to stand on their own two feet and they don't know how gratifying it can be, and how little effort can go into that. Instead, they leech off of other's kindness and fill themselves up at the expense of others. The best thing to do with people like that is to tell them they are that way and that they need to pick themselves up and take care of themselves... only if they are truly only victims of their own poor self-esteem.
2006-10-15 05:37:45 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People are not failures because they do not want to be successful. The problem is that they have been conditioned for failure. A lot of people have a fear of success, but it does not mean that they are asking for attention. By continuuing to fail, they are successful at failure. It is a problem that is not easy to overcome and only through being pushed past their threshold will these people eventually come to realize that making mistakes is OK.
Keep in mind that this fear is subconscious and people usually won't be able to identify it unless they take a really good look inside themselves and look into their past. Most are not ready to do this and it is a sensitive issue for them. If it is someone you know, be careful. Good luck.
2006-10-15 12:42:41 · answer #2 · answered by Big Gee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My guess would be that they (at least in part) do it for the attention and sympathy...people who are down and glum tend to get more attention from others than those that succeed (they get a pat on the back and then are left to continue on)...those in the middle, the average/mediocre types get very little attention at all...
...so why not have everyone flocking around you wanting to help you and make it all better? there are many that thrive on that type of attention...
2006-10-15 12:10:52 · answer #3 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they pretend to be victims, they know people will think they don't know anything. With more knowledge comes more responsiblity. So they think if they pretend to be vicitims, they will be able to make the mistakes they want to make, and they'll think they're excused for their dumb mistake. I dont know, that's just how some people are.
2006-10-15 12:21:41 · answer #4 · answered by rainyfriday09 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
many reasons:
misery loves company
life for them is boring so they creat chaos
many live with serious unresolved tramatic experiences
they need attention
they dont know any better because no one show them there is better
2006-10-15 12:48:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not know people like that, also I do not like that kind of behavior and I think is hypocrisy
2006-10-15 12:12:20 · answer #6 · answered by pelancha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with BH. It's the attention.
2006-10-15 12:14:24 · answer #7 · answered by pammysue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you should meet some new people.
2006-10-15 12:14:24 · answer #8 · answered by Diana 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋