Single American mother with special needs child wants to work/live in Japan?

Question

I am graduating from college in December. My daughter will be 4 in December. I always wanted to travel around the world when I graduated from college, but now that I have a child with a severe speech/language delay, I'm going to have to be more stationary. :) If I were to choose just one place, I would like to work/live in for at least a year, it would be a city in Japan. I heard about the long work hours which concern me being able to pick up my child from pre-school/daycare. I know there are some english schools for disabled chlildren, but I will still have the problem of picking her up. Are there any other resources for english-speaking single mothers in Japan? Babysitting services, transportation etc..

Answer 1

In 1997-98, I hosted a Japanese college exchange student. She was with a college program in which she came to America and taught Japanese culture at the school where I taught, and the exchange was that she learned English and American culture.

I hosted her for 10 months and I learned quite a bit about Japanese culture, myself.

One thing for you to consider is this: Unless times have drastically changed since 1998, Japan is a very male and "youth" dominated culture. Women have to know where they want to work before they graduate college and they must begin getting to know that company and applying to work at that company BEFORE they graduate. Women who marry are expected to quit their jobs to take care of family.

The only "acceptable" jobs for older women or married women are teaching jobs. The girl I hosted was interested in teaching. This is what allowed her to take the time from college to come to America. She had a friend who was also doing a cultural exchange (in Canada) and this girl was also a teaching candidate.

If you have a special needs child and are a single woman, you might consider either picking a different country to live in (I hear New Zealand and Australia are leaders in education progams) or start working on teaching certification for yourself.

Answer 2

With your daughter you will have a tough row to hoe. Japan does not traditionally have babysitting services--I'm talking highschool girl comes over for a few hours on Sat night. It's just not a part of their culture at all. Many moms quit their jobs when they have kids and take care of them until they start kindergarten. I have heard times are changing, but I suspect these new services are extremely expensive and not at all common. The traditional babysitter is a grandparent. Most grandparents live with one of their kids (or vice-versa) so they watch the grandkids when the parents aren't around.
I worked in a kindergarten where some kids actually stayed until 6 or 6:30 pm. That is the absolute latest, and considered very kawai-so! A couple schools where I worked were phasing this service out, partly due to increased fears of "perverts" or "kidnappers" loitering near school property after hours.

If you could work at a school that would allow your daughter to enroll as a student, that would be the easiest thing. But most places probably aren't willing to enroll and/or hire strangers. Most good kindergartens have waiting lists. And a Japanese kindergarten will require that you be endorsed and introduced by another Japanese person. This is how Japan is. It might be best to choose another country (an English-speaking one) or wait until your daughter is older.
Also think of the foreigners you'll meet. Most have just graduated from college and want to party when they're not working. What kind of support system will you have?
Actually there is an organization of "foreign wives" in Japan--women who are married to Japanese men. If you did a search and were able to contact one of these groups they might give you better info re schools, childcare, etc.

Answer 3

I somewhat agree with the first answer although with resevation. Japanese women have much more varied job experiences. Many fields dominated by men are now seeing an upsurge in women. That said you are a foreigner. You may be able to find an English speaking program for your daughter sure, there are a few available, and there are single mothers in Japan from English speaking countries. That said you have a child with a severe speech problem which will make it doubly difficult in Japan. It may be hard to sometimes find decent English services as a single adult in some areas let alone having a child with communication problems. the place that may take you on as a non Japanese speaking employee may not be convenient to where you will need services and your job options are not large and varied as a nonjapanese speaker. If you have some special technology skill you could work through a company from your country of origin that works in Japan but your options of getting hired go down with a child. Also emergency situations are another factor. Your child may have problems picking up the new non verbal/verbal cues from the new language if he/she already has a problem.
It is a lot to think about. I agree that considering your situation an English speaking land may help more or a place that may have much more English services. Your dream can still be fufilled and your dream of going to Japan deferred until your situation is more stable and your child's condition may be more manageable.

Answer 4

Since you have a special needs child, I suggest searching for work in the corporate world. Larger companies on both side of the ocean have benefits and support packages that will be necessary for you and your child.
One year in Japan is so short from a head count planning perspective. Most corporations and large companies need 2 years to break even on the costs of an expatriate employee.
I would like to offer some information based on my experience of 3.5 years in Tokyo. I have been working for a major corporation, and I was transferred to Japan. That is how I had my working visa and logistical arrangements taken care of.
International Schools - I have had experience through my 2 sons with 4 different international schools in Tokyo. Saint Mary's school for boys, Sacred Heart International School, Yoyogi International School, the American School in Japan (ASIJ), and a small private international pre school. With the exepction of the pre school, all of the international schools test each prospective student to make sure the English skills are good enough to be educated at the respective schools. Sacred Heart stated that they do not have the resources to teach students with special needs or sub par English. In some cases, there are kids who gorw up bilingual, but may have been using English less than needed to attend the international school.
Helpers or maids. Many familes hire part time baby sitters, helpers or maids. I hire a babbysitter who comes once a week and on others days with advance notice. She watches my kids, and does some house cleaning and or laundry while my wife and I are away. Some families, who can afford it, will hire a helper to live in or come to their house 7 days a week. Many of the helpers' duties include walking and picking up the children to an from school or bus stop.
Working hours are long, but every situtation is different. I used to work until last train. After a year or so, I just started to work until my work was done. Things changed for everyone when a manager who likes to work until last train was transferred to the UK. BUT when the workload dictates late nights everyone, including me works until the job is done. I would say that if your office is populated with older salary men who stay late just to "show" they are working, then you will be sucked into that way of life.