If you are a people pleaser...why do you think it is so important to please other's, and displease yourself in the process sometimes?.......
2006-10-15 04:45:58 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Only to a point...I like my friends and family (loved ones) to be happy and to be someone who contributes to that...but if I start to feel taken for granted or 'used' then the behavior stops or changes...I'm not a doormat, but try to be a nice, caring, giving person...
2006-10-15 04:52:24 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a people pleaser because I have a huge fear of abandonment. I think that the more I please people, the less likely they'll leave me. I'm the first to apologize if I've upset you, and the one to try my hardest to bite my tongue when a loved one does something wrong, for fear that they may disappear and never come back. It's also a control thing, too. I know that whether or not they leave me is out of my control; that they will or won't regardless of my actions. All I can do is be me, and if they don't like it, leave. But it's not that simple with me. It's also almost like I try to influence people to curry favor with them so I know that they can't leave me. I have sought help for these issues and am getting better every day. I'm trying to tell myself that if they go, I was better off without them in the first place. It's hard, but I'm trying. Edit @ WinterOpal: So true. I'm the middle child :( But I can say that it wasn't for attention, it was because I was played as a pawn in my family, so to speak. When my parents were fighting, I was forced to chose favorites. When my grandmother wanted information on my mother, I was treated like a queen. When none of these things were going on, I was ignored and put on the back burner. During these times, I was quiet and passive. When I was a teenager, I exploded into an angsty, mouthy, rebellious person that was just done with the family drama and did my own thing and didn't care about anything or anyone. Now that I'm adult, those childhood fears have come back, maybe because I'm engaged and everything is somewhat settled in the family now, and I have such a huge fear that I'm going to lose it all... But like I said, I'm workng on it. :)
2016-05-22 04:01:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible to please people and remain true to yourself, because if you are a people pleaser this does not mean you want to become a door mat.
You have to remain true to your beliefs, I like to help people but I will not help them if they don't or are just lazy and this is why they need help.
If you displease yourself then you are not being true to your beliefs and are only being an hypocrite by saying you will help out when you don't really want to. I guess what I am saying is there has to be harmony as far as you are willing to go. If not people will walk all over you as you have told them you are an easy mark. LOL
2006-10-15 04:51:38 · answer #3 · answered by Neptune2bsure 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think i am . Don't know why . Sometimes i feel quite guilty having a home, food and clothes to wear that i will go over the top and try to do something good for others. But , the minute they try to take advantage of my kindness i get upset. I dont like upsetting people so i will brood on it for a while but then someone else will surprise me with a bunch of flowers to say thank you etc and theni am all good and kind again.
2006-10-15 04:57:39 · answer #4 · answered by Duisend-poot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a people pleaser, but not if means dis-pleasing myself! Kindness, like charity, begins at home, and that's where I live.
2006-10-15 04:55:42 · answer #5 · answered by rebecca_sld 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pleasing others doen't have to come at the expense of your own happiness, sounds like a question from an individual with a selfish perspective on life.
2006-10-15 05:15:49 · answer #6 · answered by Kricknit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling just imagine
John Lennon knew to dream of how it feels in a peacefull world to paint a vision. Goerge Harrison knew very well to do the same in a different cultural tone......
Others always mattered more to me than my own ideas of me.... Braindamage??? perhaps, no ego seemed justified......
2006-10-15 04:51:19 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Alma of Avalon Grailguard 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moderately.
2006-10-15 04:48:25 · answer #8 · answered by Pitambri 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I try to pleased other but not at the cost of my suffering
2006-10-15 04:50:59 · answer #9 · answered by pelancha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope...
I need to make an effort to be more so....
Unfortunately, I have allowed what money & power I do have to
have made me arrogant...
2006-10-15 04:49:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋