Ok, we are seperated. It's obvious I am still deeply in love with him. He is talking with other women, inviting them over, cooking them a nice dinner....but he hasnt filed for divorce. We have been seperated for 2 months. he wanted the seperation, said he wanted to find someone better. So, why hasnt he filed? If he is cheating now, doesnt that mean he will cheat in the future if there were ever the possibility of working it out? He feels no remorse, or accepts no blame for his actions that helped cause our seperation..i do accept my part. Serious answers please.
2006-10-15 04:43:46 · 16 answers · asked by Elly 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I appreciate the honest answers, everyone. i know there is a big part of me waiting, and wishing for him to come back and work this out....but its not gonna happen, right? and i guess after all of this, i shouldnt want it to. Thanks!
2006-10-15 05:22:19 · update #1
When I saw the words, "someone better", my antennae went up! Someone better??? If he has that attitude, YOU"RE the one that deserves SOMEONE BETTER! I know love tears the heart out, but believe me, it's not worth being humiliated and hurt over, on and on...while he hunts someone better. Pull the pieces of your life back together as much as is possible, and move on in your own life! You deserve better than what you're getting! Best of luck to you....a good man is waiting....just for you!!
2006-10-15 05:12:53 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well as bad as this seems it gets better but only when you see that you do not need him anymore and you can see that he is cheating and does not want to work out things. Why do you need him to file for divorce? You file! What you just wrote tells all of us that he has moved on but you have not. You are hanging on to someone who has clearly said i do not want you, I want someone better. Men do not have guilty feelings when it comes to what they want in women. You need to move on and do the same thing. You have choices in this. File for divorce yourself and show the courts that he is cheating during the separation.
Leave things like they are and do your own thing and wait for him to file. Or you can sit there and wait for him to come home and pick up where you 2 left off and then even though you love him you will know deep down inside that every day he is cheating on you cause that is what he has been doing and will continue to do. Make the right choice and move on. He does not deserve your love. Give a good man a chance to experience your love and return it to you. That is what love is about. Heal and move on cause there are men out there who love their wives and want to make the marriage work. It will be worth it in the long run. Do not stay with him cause you love him. You will get over the love you feel for him with time away from him and understanding that you do not need him.
2006-10-15 12:00:35 · answer #2 · answered by Karen S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok u are seperated and u are still inlove with him how could u still love someone after leaving u for other girls u should just forget about him how in the world could u ever trust him again. u should just focus on making new friends hanging out with friends and family focusing on healing urself do things that u enjoy like going to the gym taking care of u and moving on with ur life find someone who will cherish u love u be faithful to u and treat u right . u should file for a devorce though he has moved on with his life and waiting for the right moment to file for a devorce so i think u should file for a devorce u would be better off without him you dont need that kind of stress in your life
good luck
2006-10-15 12:14:20 · answer #3 · answered by Cat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he hasn't filed because he hasn't found the right one, and he's keeping you there just in case he doesn't find someone else. i believe he is cheating.he doesn't feel remorse because he is not the one hurt.he doesn't accept responsibility, and never will, blaming you for it all just relieves him of having to feel guilt or working on the relationship. it has very little to do with you or what you did, this is all about the other woman,if it truly had anything to do with you he would want to work on it. all of this began with his thinking, thinking determines our feeling's and emotions, his emotions determine his decisions. i would not allow him to determine my destiny, if he didn't love you enough after you accepted your part in the separation than move on, you tried.he's the type of man that everytime things don't go his way he will cheat, because he has no relationship skills, and won't make the effort to work on his marriage. so sorry for your problems, sometimes the only thing we can do is move on and start over, even if we have to do damage to our own hearts at times.he is not interested in working it out, just placing blame on you. this situation began within himself and had nothing to do with his circumstances.
2006-10-15 12:02:10 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all if he hasn't filed for the divorced he is just waiting for the relationships to go wrong so he can have you back. I think that its sick if you ask me. Those are games that he is playing with you and your just playing the game with him. I would file the divorce and PROVE that you will not accept it. It all really depends on how you really feel.
2006-10-15 12:00:33 · answer #5 · answered by tqpinklady 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like I would love to say a jerk, but he has told you the truth at least from his point of view. You sound like a person who has been emotionally abused if this is the case you need to focus on you not him. What he is doing now should no longer concern you. You should be trying to find out how to get divorced from him fast. All you are headed for is hurt by keeping tabs on this man. You have to put aside your heart and make decisions with you head. If your friend came to you and told you her husband and she just separated and he said he was going to find someone more suited for him and has started dating other women, what would you tell her?
2006-10-15 11:55:02 · answer #6 · answered by barbie2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So far all you have said he is doing is inviting women over and cooks for them. If it is not a LEGAL seperation then you're not really "sepearated" just not living together and if he is seeing other women and that bothers you why don't YOU file for divorce.
2006-10-15 17:39:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dating after only 2mo. is not the right thing to do. It is no use filing for divorce at this stage as you must be seperated for 1yr. for a no fault divorce. Glad to hear that you accept your responsibility for your part in the breakup. He will probably never accept his.
2006-10-15 11:53:09 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, he is going on with his life. He may not have filed, but he is divorced in his mind. He feels that he has done nothing wrong and is the one who needs the women to help him through his pain. Just let him go. You don't want him back now. Who knows where he has been or what disease he may be carrying.
2006-10-15 11:47:43 · answer #9 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would straight up tell him how you feel. I'd say something like, I understand you want to pursue other relationships, could you please file for divorce before you continue any further. Because if he's seeing other people, the two of you are probably not going to get back together, so there's no point in putting off the inevitable.
2006-10-15 11:48:14 · answer #10 · answered by katesolo 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋