I have always been attracted to men and am married to a man, but recently I have started feeling somewhat attracted to women also. I have kissed a woman (a couple actually), in a drunken moment, and had dreams of me being with women, but nothing beyond that. Am I bi or just curious?
2006-10-15 04:39:30 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I haven't told my husband this...but I know that he would be fine with it.
2006-10-15 05:19:14 · update #1
Hi. Well, you are certainly curious and that's fine. Sexuality is not a couple of boxes that we have to jam ourselves into. Sexuality is a spectrum, like the color band. Some of us are way out on the edges because we are only able to have thoughts or experiences with the opposite sex. But many more of us (the majority in fact) are in the center where we can sometimes fantasize about the opposite sex, or, actually enjoy same sex encounters. Only you know where you are on this spectrum and where ever that is, only you can make the responsible choices for acting on it. That's up to you, but you are quite healthy and quite normal.
2006-10-15 04:44:15 · answer #1 · answered by Isis 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sex researcher Alfred Kinsey believed almost everyone (upwards of 99%) was some degree of bi. He defined a scale of 0-7 where 0=physically unable to respond to same sex and 7 was the gay equivalent. 1-2 were most straights, 3-4 were most bis, and 5-6 were most gays. A 1-2 might have same-sex relations under certain circumstances, like a man in prison, but the preference will always be heterosexual. If you are a 2 it's quite possible you do have some attraction to the opposite sex, but if you are happy and content in your straight lifestyle there is no reason to put it at risk. The nice thing about fantasies is that they can be enjoyed but you don't have to act on them. Just remember, alcohol is a de-inhibitent, you wouldn't have kissed a woman while drunk if, at some level, you hadn't wanted so to do. If you must pick a lable, go with curious.
2006-10-15 16:43:13 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Somewhat attracted as in how? Do you find them to be pretty, or do you actually find yourself wondering how they would be in bed, and fantasizing about it?
Are you appalled at your own thoughts? Do you feel ashamed by it? If so, do you think you would feel differently if there was no pressure from society?
Personally, I don't see much of a difference between "bi" and "curious". If you find women attractive in the sense of wanting to sleep with one, then you're bi, plain and simple. (This is of course, my own opinion). If you don't have an urge to sleep with one, you're straight.
But it doesn't mean you shouldn't be married, either. Just as you might find yourself attracted to a man that isn't your husband, you might also find yourself attracted to a woman while you're married. Just because you're attracted to another, doesn't mean you married the wrong one.
I would take that other suggestion and see what your husband thinks about it. From my own experience, many men fantasize about a three-some with two females, but rarely get the opportunity to expand on it. So you could possibly do something to make him happy and discover more about your own desires as well.
2006-10-15 12:19:43 · answer #3 · answered by ltygress 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At this moment in time, you're probably bicurious - which isn't an orientaition in its own right as it refers to a curiosity. The real question is what the outcome would be if you acted upon your curiosity....
If you disliked your same sex encounter and never thought about it again, then you are heterosexual.
If you continue to have sexual encounters/fantasies with both genders, then you are bisexual. It doesn't matter whether you fancy one more than the other - what differentiates a bisexual is that they cannot deny their feelings for either gender (irrespective of which is the "greater" gender).
If you stopped being attracted to your husband, and stopped feeling attracted to men, then you would be homosexual.
2006-10-15 17:13:43 · answer #4 · answered by nemesis 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sexuality is fluid, so go with the flow.
I know that may sound horribly cliche', but if you fancy girls then I'd say the flow of your sexuality is in fact bisexual. Enjoy it, and good luck. You really should tell your husband about what you're going through, it isn't right to keep secrets like that.
2006-10-15 13:03:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just curious, but this curiosity can lead to much more. You may find that you enjoy women alot more than you expected, thats if you find the right woman to give you that first experience. Keep in mind every experience will differ, but will have the same effect. Be careful, my first experience never ended 6yrs. later.
2006-10-15 11:54:12 · answer #6 · answered by Vanity 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are just curious. But I would not step out of my wedding vows to find out for certain. Your husband deserves better than that. Or you could ask him if he would ever try a threesome and find a woman that is attractive to you both who is likeminded.
2006-10-15 11:57:34 · answer #7 · answered by mortgagegirl101 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
right now you are bi-curious... you cannot be bisexual UNTIL you sleep with a women. I would let my husband know that i have these feelings then act on it....
2006-10-15 12:07:25 · answer #8 · answered by sexylilles 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are probably just curious. It seems to be the thing today and you might be a little bored or just curious to see what the hype is all about.
2006-10-15 12:16:15 · answer #9 · answered by Brianne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would call u curious until u fulfill your urge to sleep with a woman, because u cant actually be considered a bisesual until you ahve actually slept with a woman, and know taht u wanna have encounters with both.
2006-10-15 17:12:04 · answer #10 · answered by beautifulpersona 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋