Am I wrong? I have a friend whose boyfriend is a child molester.........?

Question

I have a friend who just recently told me that her bf is a child molester. He has to register wherever he goes. She does not have any children( thank God) but is determined to be with this man because she believes that "deep down" this man is a good person. I have not met him. She told me yesterday that she wants me to meet him. I told her that that was not a good idea. I have two children and I feel very uncomfortable with the idea of meeting a child molester. I would have a very hard time just saying "Hi" without reaching out and slapping him in the d a m n face! I am also trying to talk sense into her to see that this man is not good for her and he is sick. But, she is so freaking hard headed! Am I wrong? Am I being judgemental? Because I try not to judge people but I cannot help it in this case.

Answer 1

Why would he be a good person 'deep down'?

The thought makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up!
just tell your friend you feel uncomfortable with meeting such a person, she'll understand in time. Tell her she can do miles better why does she have to settle.

What happens when she has kids?
Would she have to have cctv on 24/7?

Quite frankly, CREEPY!!!!

Answer 2

Yes you are being judgemental and prejudice.The 1st thing you need to find out is what he did to become a registered sex offender. If it is a lame reason like a child was in his house, but that childs parents did not like the person or wanted revenge. Than that would be a lame molestation offense. The child could have been pressured into this (filing a complaint) by his family.
Here is the 2nd and most important thing YOUR KIDS!!!!!!!!! I understand your disdain for this person and agree that it would be almost impossible to meet this person without having a preconceived negative notion. You cannot and should not interfere with friends relationships because that would put undo strain on everyone involved. My suggestion would be to still hang out with your friend & make sure that her boyfriend is not going be around or at home (her home) if you were to pick her up & go get something to eat or do something else. Her boyfriend should never be the topic for conversation, if she really is a friend she will understand. Most importantly, still do the things you did together before she got with him. The last thing is that just because she(your friend) believes that her boyfriend is a "deep down" good person, doesn't mean that bad things aren't going to happen or be said. People tend to hide themselves very well. Look at alot of the rapists, murderers, & molesters, clean on the outside some even hold positions in the church, but that is on the outside, and deep down these people are scary, unethical, and downright deplorable. I myself was molested at the age of 5-6. The person who committed this act was a very close friend of my dads until he found out when I told him & my mom. They were both heart broken because they to believed that this person was a very good man. He was always courteous, very friendly, always had a nice thing to say to people, but deep down this man needed help... People can change in life, if this happened 10 years ago he could be a different person, if it's within the past 5 years, do not meet him, and encourage her(your friend) to find a healthy man. Sorry for your dilemma, be strong and you will prevail.

Answer 3

You are not wrong at all. Pete files are the most vile people on this planet. This guy is a demented man who takes the innocence away from little kids and destroys their lives forever. Go to a mental health facility and ask about the kids that were sexually abused. Ask what they go through every minute of their life. It is horrifying. I apologize for my intensity but it is a matter on which I have a very strong opinion. I don't think you should meet this guy if you are not comfortable with it. Furthermore, I would question your friend. Lets say that she is babysitting your children for you. You tell her not to let him over, but she does anyway. She thinks that he is a good person, and she will be there so nothing will happen. How would you feel knowing that some guy who molests children is sitting right next to your kid. Your friend is probably a victim of some kind of abuse to rationalize his behavior. I would try to get her to see a therapist or something. Usually the people that can accept somebody like that is someone who was abused themselves and made it seem like it was not a big deal so they can cope with their life. Now that she is older that pattern is spreading to her partners that she is attracted to. This is a common cycle that goes on, and is why so many kids are molested. I wish the best of luck for you and your friend.

Answer 4

Do NOT meet with the guy. Let your friend know that you will never have anything to do with a person like that. Talk to her on the telephone, have lunch with her alone, but never put yourself in the position of being with him ever. She will get the message that you mean business. Your priority is YOUR children. You don't want to even know a person of that type. Stay away from him and let your friend know that as long as she is with him ---he is NOT welcomed. At all. If she brings him to your home....call the police immediately.

By the way, talking to your friend won't help. She is in "love". Just let her know you will NOT have him around you or your family.

We need to take action against people like this. They can never be cured.

Answer 5

Child molesters/pedophiles cannot help themselves, they are atrracted (gets turned on) to small children...DO NOT under any circumstances let this man have any contact with your children, do not meet him!
Ask your friend if she ever thought about the specific sexual acts he performed on children or had them perform on him...OMG, I could never get those thoughts out of my head every time I looked at him.
What will happen when he molests another child while he's in a relationship with her?

Answer 6

I don't think you are being judgmental, you are using common sense to protect your children which is wisdom. As for her, she has no children so she is not so much at risk. If her affection for him is solid despite his illness(es!) hopefully she will be able to handle whatever messes that transpire with him. This is her right and who knows, maybe somehow their togetherness will benefit society (namely children). She might be a godsend for him somehow. Either way, it is her choice.

Stand your ground and tell her you want no parts of him personally since you have children but that you will always be there for her if she needs you. She'll miss your being a part of her relationship with him but that is one price she'll have to get used to paying as part of the package he comes with. She has to understand that she can choose him but cannot force others to do the same. Wish her well and hope for their best, be there for her and don't tell her she is a fool for her decision because this ironically may be good for her somehow - who knows. Just help her to understand choosing him will mean sacrificing some other things like group gatherings with him. In the least it'll give her something to think about. But she'll only think about it open mindedly if you show her you respect her decision to be with him.

Answer 7

You might want to suggest to your friend that IF you meet him, it will be in a situation where your children are not there. I think it's very selfish of your friend to want you to meet him knowing that you are uncomfortable with it. I personally think that all child molesters should be shot. My little girl has a paper route and I walk it with her every day because she had 2 sex offenders who live on her route. No you are NOT wrong. I wouldn't meet him either. If your friend can't understand that, she isn't really a friend.

Answer 8

I don't think that you should meet him. It could give him the wrong idea, then who knows what would happen. Keep your family away from him and don't let them go anywhere with your friend without you. Also, get the information on this guy, so you will know about what he looks like and protect your children better that away.

Answer 9

You are not being wrong, but you have not met this man so you are being too quick to judge. I would just meet him just for the sake of being a good friend, but if you don't like him, then you have a choice of never meeting him again.

Answer 10

friends with low moral values will only reflect on us.
You may be put in to this situation for a reason- to see if you are going to judge, help, do nothing or what have you. do not meet the man unless you are wanting to. Get some new friends.