6yr old with bedwetting problems?

Question

I have a 6yr step son who wets the bed almost every night. When he's asked why didnt he get up and go to the bathroom he shruggs his shoulder and says i dont know. He sometimes will get up in the morning already wet, goes to the bathroom and gets back in bed in his wet clothes. Like this morning i asked why didnt he change out of his wet clothes..I dont know was the answer. His mother took him to the Dr. and they want to put him on medicine, we dont feel thats the answer. We have praised him on the occaisions that he didnt wet the the bed, but how do you descipline a 6yr old who has no answer for why he wets the bed or should you even descipline him? We have him go potty several times before bed and we cut him off drinks hours before bedtime. We are at our witsend...anyone with advise?

Answer 1

We have had good success with our two and four year olds. I'll tell you what we did after I answer your first question. I believe that he really doesn't know why he isn't taking care of himself. I believe that his opinion of his body has been degraded substantially by punishments and negative interactions, so that he doesn't mind allowing his body to become wet and smelly. This could also stem from too many failures which have caused him to give up the fight. The possibility of failure must be minimized to the greatest extent possible in order to maintain high morale concerning the successful transition to being fully potty trained. Ultimately, he cannot learn effectively until he feels good about himself and that requires your emotional support when ever it is needed, especially during the process of dealing with the recovery from failure (as opposed to delaying or escaping their requirement to recover from it, i.e. take responsibility of/accept it).

How does he feel about using the toilet during the day? There should be a correlation. The key to night-time potty training extends from the day-time potty training results, though I must admit that this nocturnal process requires much more care and forethought because it occurs during the subconscious hours of our lives.

For my daughters, we began by creating value in being big and independent like us. We impressed in their minds that going to the toilet is very important with praise, rewards (candy, which is a rare commodity for them here), and minimal use of punishment, except in our own natural aversions to the impact on our health. Positive potty training videos which resonated with them were used. We insured that they felt very good about themselves and their bodies, and that they knew that they were expected to keep themselves clean, and to clean up their own messes with our support and sometimes a little help working together with them (when morale dropped to low to face the problem by themselves).

The idea of bacteria was introduced and illustrated with my four year from the various negative effects and then connected with urine and red bumps associated with prolonged skin contact.

We gave them drinks with an eye on the clock for the approximately twenty minutes that the body takes to process it, and ensured success at the toilet at the appropriate time followed by rewards and praise.

So with success during the day, we began the night campaign by continuing the use of diapers until they were dry in the morning for several nights, the condition for wearing underwear at night. Underwear represents being a big kid and is the earned privelege and elevated status of being dry at night. We minimized the possibility for failure (wet bed and body) but maximized the possibility for success by using training pants so that they can easily take them off in the night to use the toilet.

Don't cut fluids at night, as this will dehydrate them and cause irritability, lack of desire to wake-up and deal with the body's complaints concerning lack of fluids, poor circulation, unpredictable urine cycles, head aches, etc. Dehydration is about as bad a strategy as the "hold it until you wake-up in the morning" strategy, which yields substantial physical stress on the body during the eight key hours where the body is to be resting and relaxing; it also brings a lack of desire to wake-up and deal with the high tension (muscular tension, head aches, physical pain, etc.) inherent in holding urine inside for much longer than is healthy.

We give them water at night and then wake-up during the night at key times to get them to the toilet for success. This was somewhat a hit and miss, but patterns were soon recognized.

The keys are confidence, love, and success, always. And a rational and loving mind and heart during times of failure. The child must trust completely and always (consistency) that you are there to help and support both success and recovery from failure with no other motives or complications. Underwear is a privilege and must be earned by proving that it will stay dry. This will greatly reduce your workload, his health, and his confidence in achieving success. Bacteria is to be made the enemy, as it is the principle reason that urine is bad/unclean, but it must be kept in simple terms of infections and red skin, negative experiences with which the child can identify.

The results for my daughters that my four year old is mostly dry at night (waking up at night to use the toilet independent of us); this process takes some time to complete fully and consistently. She hates bacteria and openly talks about her feelings on the subject. The two year old follows the four year old's example and is potty trained for the day. Both highly value being a big kid and being dry. Both trust us to support them, but maintain a strong desire to do everything in the process, "all by myself."

Answer 2

I dont think cutting out drinks helps at all ,this little fella might be under a little bit of stress going between 2 houses and im not saying any of you are bad kids think weird things. I wouldnt question him at all he probaly is feeling out fo sorts about it all. My eldest was a bed wetter and what helped him was a bed wetting machine along with a programme for me to do with him. This included on the first night getting up on the hour and guiding him to the toilet( reassures him in the house that he is safe) then the next night every 2 hours. The machine is also hooked up to the underpants to set off an alarm if he wets in the programme it says to have the child take off the wet sheets an pj's etc and pop them in the wash.He's only 6 so dont expect him to remake it without help and as grumpy as you all maybe make it an ok time for him not a stressful one (oops youve had an accident lets get this sorted sweetheart) Never ever scold or show an angry front and reward those dry nights with a special treat. Some kids go into a dead sleep and they dont even realise what has happened.I was a bedwetter as a child and trust me i was miserable about it though it turned out i had a kidney reflux and needed surgery. If he is in wet jammies in the morning just say hun that must be so uncomfy for you lets get you out of them ..its about training the brain. Good luck to both mums and dad and master 6!P.S I got my sons machine hired from the local pharmacy but maybe the doctor may be able to help out with that one

Answer 3

at 6 this is still very normal. and he DOSENT know why. it is probably very hard on him to do it and not know why, and he just doesent show it to you. medcines are NOT the answer, they have nasty side-efects, they some times have the reverse efect and you cant pee in the day time, but you wet even more at night. time is the answer to this. he will out grow it. get him some pull-ups or goodnites. these work great. never punsh him for wetting the bed, and dont make him feel like a baby when you give him the pull-ups or goodnites.

i am 16/17 (birthday in a month) and i still have a wet night every now and then, i tryed meds, they made it worse, and i tryed alarms, they woke every one up not just me and every one inthe house hated it. it did no good at all because some nights i was so tired from the night before that i wet any way. the doctor says it will completely stop soon, because it happens less and less now. but i know what its like to live with this kind of problem

Answer 4

This question caught my eye because my nine year old son still wets his bed. Actually, he doesn't wet the bed because we make him wear pampers. He's a perfectly normal boy - loves to play football, baseball, basketball, and we go fishing, hunting, camping, riding my Harley, etc., etc. We don't nag him about it, and, except for the fact that he knows he can't go to sleepovers, he's OK with it. We occassionally try some of the "tricks", but nothing has worked. We constantly assure him that he will outgrow it. I was a bedwetter, too, so I know exactly how he feels. If your son exhibits no abnormalities I see no reason to seek medical or psychological help.

Answer 5

Before going for treatment for this problem, you can try some tricks :-
1) Offer him some incentive (like his favorate chocolate etc.,) in the morning -if he don't wet the bed during night.
2) Wake him up for toileting after 3/4 hours of his going to bed.

~ if you use the above two technics symultaniously for a priod of one / two months - patiently, the result would be absolutely positive.

Answer 6

ok you cut him off fluids hours before he goes to bed and have him go to the bathroom several times before he goes to bed as well. maybe you are making to much out of the the issue and causing him stress. cutting his fluids 3 hours before should be fine, and maybe you could try waking him up after he has been asleep for a couple hours. i don't think putting him on meds is the answer, maybe he should see a shrink, he may be having other things going on that you are not aware of. it could be he is afraid of the dark, or something going on at school, or something with some of his friends. it could be that he is just a very sound sleeper. my son was also a sound sleeper and this would happen to him on occasion. either way try to not put so much into it and stressing him out.

Answer 7

Buy pyjama pants boys can have bed wetting problems into their teens through no fault of their own.

Answer 8

don't get to worked up. this is pretty common with Lil boys, he will eventually out grow it, just be patient, unless he is doing it from his dresser.

Answer 9

They have "DYI child pads" which are like diapers but they look like underwear