Teenager rebellion what should I do besides hurt him??

Question

My oldest son is a senior this year. We have always been close and he has never given my any problems until now. He tells me no and to shut up and seems to think he doesn't have to do what I say. Disrespectful to me but not his father. What is a mom to do to keep control at this point in his life?

Answer 1

I'm feeling your pain mom, but hurting him is not the answer. You have to beat him at his own game. See, as moms, we have this great gift of guilt that from time to time, we place upon our children to get them to do what we want. It's called manipulation, and its a game we all have to play whether we like it or not. You said that you and your son were close, so with that being the case, use it to your advantage. Throw out some tears every now and then, ask him why he's being so mean to you, and constantly tell him that you love him and you hope he works out whatever issues he has. The idea is to get him to stop and think that this form of disrespect to you isn't right. And as much as it pangs you to do this, you have to, or he'll grow up to continue believing that this type of treatment towards women is okay. The other issue I see is that you still feel the need to keep control. That, I'm afraid isn't going to happen so much anymore. Your little boy is growing up and becoming a man honey. You, have to give him that space. The room to grow and learn, allow him to make his mistakes and learn from them. At this age, parents are forced to give up the control and learn to guide them instead. If we don't, our relationship with our children in their adult years will be strained. You don't want that. It's going to be hard, but nobody said parenting was easy. You can do this! I wish you luck and the patience you are going to need to get you through!

Answer 2

Try and think of what you did before that kept you both close and keep doing that. Also, he is a teenager and most people go through this sort of thing at some point in their development, including you when you were his age probably!! try and ignore it and give him his space, but remember to be there for him when he decides he needs you. I know it is easier said than done, but I remember having a terrible time when I was young, and the harder my mum tried to be there, the worse she seemed to be interfering, and I hated it. We are still not close and she is still saying the same nasty things to me, so try and find the balance between keeping your distance and being there. He is most likely trying to find his place as a young man, and let go of the apron strings to show that he is no longer a mummy's boy. When he is older he will realise that while he is no longer a mummy's boy, he will always be HIS mummy's boy. As he is trying to find his identity as a man, it seems to me that it is quite natural for him to gravitate more towards his father at this stage in his life so please try not to take it personally. Good luck.

Answer 3

my son who is in 10th grade became the same way earlier this year. What transpired after the many fights in my kitchen were he would corner me and almost hit was that he came out he was gay. Just some food for thought. or Maybe he is just scared that now he has to grow up and is not ready to face the world. Maybe just take him out somewhere and have a talk with him. Let him know it hurts you that there is a rift between you and that you would really like to enjoy this last year of true childhood with him. I also have a daughter who is graduating and we have become distant also. I think partly because I don't want to let go yet and she is ready to fly out of here. good luck

Answer 4

You have already answered this but don't know it. If he's a senior stop trying to control his life!

I went through this with my mom. And she was usually right but at the same time she also let me do what I wanted. If I got into something I shouldn't have it was all on me to deal with it. I know he's still your "little boy" but ya gotta let go mom!

Plus you get the added satisfaction of being able to say "I told you so!" over, and over, and over......

Answer 5

Maybe he's going thru some problems at school, or with a girl, and he's letting out his stress on you. Kids usually will not talk to their parents about certain things. Maybe since he's only acting this way with you you should have his dad have a talk with him. Have you even told your husband how he tells you to shut up and stuff like that? I know had I done that to my mom and she told my father he would have let me have it.

Answer 6

He is a senior. He will be on his own soon. Just make sure he knows you love him and give him his space. As long as he knows your there for him. He will come back to you. There is not much more you can do for him. Step aside I know, not what you probably want to hear. Its time to "cut the cord" He might feel smothered. Might explain why he does not do it to his dad/.

Answer 7

you need to find some common ground. Personally i think you're lucky its just startingdurring his seinor year. Taking things away and constantly grounding him is just going to make matters worse. It may seem like a loose-loose situation but you need to give him a some room to spread his wings. I know you want to protect him but he needs to learn some things the hard way, everybody does.

Answer 8

If you videotaped his birth, now's the time to show it to him. Either that or he has done or started doing something that he knows you disapprove of and is behaving this way as a result. He now feels he is unworthy of your love due to this transgression and he doesn't know how to fix it. Good Luck.

Answer 9

Check your public library for books on adolescent behavior or psychology.
Very helpful since written by Professionals.
One good one written by a guy named Wolf or Wolfe(sp?)and called "I hate you but can you take me and Cheryl to the Mall" .
Excellent Book! Easy to read and even has some humor.

Answer 10

i think of that infants revolt in spite of no rely if their mothers and dads are non secular. it extremely is usually pronounced that our infants are in basic terms our very own till they initiate college and, in many procedures, that's genuine. whilst they connect up and spend a great sort of time with different babies - from households with very diverse attitudes, ideals and ethical codes - they are taking off to hearken to and spot issues that they did not hear or see before. For a time, someone's upbringing partly dictates how a toddler reacts to a minimum of a few thing very diverse. some babies will shun some thing that they comprehend is incorrect by way of fact their upbringing has shown them this, on an identical time as different babies will react in yet differently. As time is going on although, and the youngster gets older, strikes college, has a lots greater circle of friends/buddies they replace into further and further bombarded with counsel (stable and undesirable) and that they initiate making their very own alternatives. the youngsters who're inspired to speak lots with their mothers and dads in the evenings and weekends often fare the suited by way of fact issues and concerns may be thrashed out and pronounced. those whose mothers and dads do not in all probability prefer to renowned what sort of day their toddler has had or what they are apprehensive approximately tend to 'sort' issues out themselves or communicate in self belief to friends extremely than kin and the advice they get is usually not the suited. there's no confusing and quickly rule although. There are very bothered infants, extremely rebellious who come from extremely stable properties and there are spectacular, sort, powerful infants who look to have had an exceedingly undesirable/tough commencing up in existence. a number of this could consistently proceed to be a secret i think of. the standard public of infants who replace into extremely rebellious to people do, ultimately, look to step into line and have a solid dating with mothers and dads in adulthood.