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My husband was unemployed for 18 months before leaving the country. He wanted a divorce but I think he was running away. He now only comes home every 3 months for 3 weeks. Things are getting better. Ryan has a trust issue now.

2006-10-15 00:20:16 · 6 answers · asked by Roxy 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting Adolescent

We live in South Africa.

2006-10-15 03:39:16 · update #1

6 answers

You live in SA? As in Saudi Arabia? Which side is your husband fighting for (or is he fighting at all)?

Regardless, your son should have a trust issue with your husband, which can only be made up after he has come home to stay(whether in your family or not.) In the meantime fill the gap left in your lives by spending more time with your son. Don't think you need to do the things that his father would do with him. Your not the father and your son will feel better with you not trying to assume that role but rather accentuating your own role and relationship with him. The more time he spends with you, the more he will learn to trust that you too will not be leaving him.

2006-10-15 03:07:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Find a place to help educate your son on what his father is doing. The Army and some other places have this type of stuff for the kids. Some recruiters will work with your son maybe even give him material to read and help him understand/become interested himself. Also see if there is a Big Brother program where you live.

2006-10-15 09:24:17 · answer #2 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 0 0

It is so hard being a single mom! Sorry, but you can't control the relationship between your son and his father. All you can do is be there for your son if he comes to you with concerns and questions. If he doesn't come to you, ask him if he would like to see a counselor (they are free from the County Mental Health for those who can't afford to pay). Have you talked to his school counselor? If Ryan has a trust issue with his dad, it's for him and his dad to work out, nothing you say or do will change it. Just be there for him! You're the only one he has.

2006-10-15 08:29:40 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara 5 · 0 0

The biggest thing you can do to support your son is to keep the lines of communications open. Let him know you are interested in what he's doing and who his friends are. Encourage him to have people over to your home. Make time for the two of you to go and do somethings that he wants to do.

With his father, encourage communication there too. You need to urge the father to do what he can. He may be gone, but I imagine there is email access and at least occasional phone access. He MUST NOT make any promises that he wont or can't keep. And you must make sure that you keep all of the ones you make. Finally, make sure that you NEVER say a negative word about the father around your son.

Good luck.

2006-10-15 08:46:17 · answer #4 · answered by Jonas_J 2 · 0 0

is he in the military. if so there are programs for kids of deployed families. look into that.

2006-10-15 09:05:41 · answer #5 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 0 0

you should say : you should be proud of you father , he is fighting there for his country, you father is a GREAT MAN!

2006-10-15 07:23:41 · answer #6 · answered by Donets'k 5 · 0 0

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