My husband only had sex with me 3 times last year and this year is worse why?

Question

I have been married for 5 years and this is an ongoing problem.Last year we had sex 3 times each session was 2-5 mins long. Now this year is only twice.He says he can't get his mind off work to get into and find sex gross.Though he masterbates daily.I have gone through this for years and am at my piont I want to leave.He said he knows he has a problem but won't seek help even though it is riuning are relationship.Oral sex is non existant he never lets me do it him.I don't know what to do.I want to leave but feel i am being unfair.After 4 yrs I have no more tears to cry.

I keep myself in shape and shaven and all that goody stuff. I am open to anything sexual he would want but he doesn't like it.He says *** disgust him.I offered counsiling and i told him he could go it alone because it is sensitve and i never brought him down because of it I was patient and I know males are sensitive in that area. I love him and respect him. I have a lil girl with him. He sleeps at opposite ends of the bed with his own blanket. I told him if I don't make him happy find someone who will I won't be angry we can still be freinds we do have a child . He insits he loves me and doesn't want to lose me. This convo happens atleast 10 times a year. for about 3 yrs we used to do it all but now it is non existant. I don't want to base my relaitionship on sex but I feel it is an important part of a realationship. As for the sexual questions he doesn't like me around when he masterbates and he doesn't find me gross he finds the idea of sex in general gross.

My child is two and this started about year before having her.H e once told me he didn't want to have sex with me anymore cuz he thought he was gay but then he said he wasn't he got over it he was just wondering. I told him I will except the outcome no matter gay or staright but her swears straight so i don't push it. I respect him. I don't want to be alone and i feel even being married i am as alone as ever.I don't want my daughter to see her mom crying and depressed.He is a good man with a good heart but I don't think he is in love with me anymore and I will accept that if he will jsut let me go. I feel I will be a ***** if I leave him :(

Answer 1

Yes, you are being unfair, unfair to yourself and only. Whilst your husband sure needs counselling, you are the one who needs compassionate help. Hey, go talk to a trusted friend and to yourself and if you still want to leave him, do now. Better an end with pain than pain without an end. Good Luck!

Answer 2

I am wondering how old your child is and if this started after you had your child? I know their are some men out their that find having sex with a mother wrong in some way. I know it is weird, but it does happen. Otherwise if I were you, I would be thinking about moving on. It isn't only sex, you even said he sleeps at the opposite side of the bed. This has to be frustrating and hurtful. Do you want to spend the rest of your life without love and affection?

Answer 3

this is really sad...try your best in coaxing him to find a doc (he might be having those "cleanliness" sickness, and thinks most things are unclean, but since this issue is kinda sensitive, most guys won't want to consult a doc)

if not, you can find a doc and relate the problems, hopefully the doc can give you some professional advice...

but if this drags on and even seeing you suffering, and he still aren't interested to do anything from his side to help, I would suggest you to leave this guy, since he only cares to settle his own urge (by Masterbatin' daily), and ignoring your problems, he's totally irresponsible and selfish...

Do also check out if he got an affair outside...possibilities are there..

Answer 4

I'm sorry honey, but I think you need to give him an ultimatum. This is obviously destroying your relationship and he is not being enitrely open with you. What is a relationship when the couple cannot be open with each other. Leave and find yourself a man who can give you what you want, before he drags you down with him and makes you as miserable as he is. Take care : )

Answer 5

why marry you then if no sex and masturbate..

Does he masturbate with other woman picture or you on the side or alone? Next time when he masturbate, sit next to him and touch him, brush your hand on his chest and play with his nipple.. and then next time, start to lick his nipple.. etc.. do one thing at one time, no rush.. let him get use to you on his side when he ***.. remember just little tease from at a time... don't do all at one day and expect result.. anyway, one of these days, he might get too horny from what you did, and just push you down and climb on top of you.. If he doesn't, seek professional help!

Is there any possiblities that he's has an outside affair that you don't know about??? GAY or STRAIGHT? Late hour?

Answer 6

I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard-
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!
I didn't ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn't mind)-
I asked Him to send you treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He'd be near you
At the start of each new day
To grant you health and blessings
And my friendship to share your way!
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small-
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all!

By: Kenny P. aka-Cobra

Answer 7

perhaps you're like my pals spouse. He hasn't had sex consisting of her in over 4 yrs. She were given fat and very ugly. He continually asks if somebody else needs her cope with. once you're nevertheless accurate/weight proportional and reasonalby captivating, have you ever carried out something to inspire him in the course of the previous yrs ?? a guy, any guy, consisting of your husband needs to have a actual charm with the intention to easily get a demanding-on. not in any respect up, not in any respect in. flow down on him one nighttime in mattress and be conscious what occurs to you :))) OR ? perhaps he's change into gay or bisexual and is using the rod. .

Answer 8

Sorry, hon, but either your beloved husband is a closet gay or he is an asexual man and in both cases it will never get better. Stop crying, leave him and find true love somewhere else.

Answer 9

You have complete control of your relation. If it is what you want, OK. If it is not what you want, find something that you do want. Surely you can get the neighbor to come over and fix your leaky sink.

Answer 10

Could be his physical problem, or yours. Are you good looking? Try to make yourself more attractive... make changes like (hate to say it) shaving and keep it clean - nobody likes the smell of old fish.