Will he get it out of his system?

Question

Im having our first son... My husband and I have been married for a year and Im due in three weeks... He is 19 and Im 20.
For 2 months now Ive been trying to get him prepared for the baby.. we both have jobs and a apartment. BUT his priority is hanging out with friends, playing his music, and partying.. while Ive grown up and started preparing for our future.
I became extremely angry because he informed me that he isnt ready emotionally, and that he felt dead inside. BUT his top priority is his new family. I told him to grow up and be a man because Id leave him if I felt he couldnt care for his son.
Our latest arguement was that him and a male friend of his and 2 female friends that he knew in high school were going to a drag show.. I went along to be apart of something fun but instead I was the 5 wheel! One of the girls even sat in his lap during the show! He doesnt see anything wrong with that because its a friend from high school... is it okay that a girl sat in his lap?

He said hes just trying to live it up before the baby gets here, but I need attention and support NOW...

Answer 1

It looks like you already got the answer I would have said... I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry that your husband is acting this way. But at least give him a chance once the baby gets here. Then see other options, but at least give him a chance... and NO it is not ok that the girl sat on his lap, my husband is sitting here and agrees whole heartedly that a woman shouldn't be treated like that. God bless you and keep your head up. AND congrats on your little bean!

Answer 2

First he's not very mature; he still wants to be a teen, too bad. I'd never and I mean never let another woman sit on my lap, without a damn good reason, and her being cold isn't a reason.

I'll bet most of his friend's aren't married and don't have kids, so he wants to fit in. They don't have to worry about diapers, wipes, baby food, labor, getting up at three in the morning for feedings so why should he? If he didn't want the responsibly of a family why did he get married? You need his attention now, not his friends not his music and certainly not partying.

Will he get it out of his system, you'll know by the end of the second or third month after the baby comes, maybe sooner. If you’re home alone with the baby and he's out with his friend because of the stress, or he's not emotionally ready, or because he can’t deal with it.

Stick to your guns, if he not there leave him, he can think about how badly he treated you each month when he sends you the child support. He can complain to his friends how broke his is and go on with his own pitiful life.

Yes, I was scared when my wife was pregnant. I worried about my job, our apartment, how I was going to pay off the Dr. bills. Etc. But I tied my wife’s shoes, when she asked although she bought slip-ons; she didn't want to bother me :) I got her pillows. I was there for her.

I knew my old life was over. I knew we couldn't just say lets go here and just leave, I was amazed at how much stuff a little baby needs. But, I was a man about it and started with my new life, one that included my son, my wife. Yes, I sometimes miss the freedom I once had, but that all part of growing up and being a man.

So tell him to put up or shut up, be a man or leave. I don’t mean to sound so hard, it just ticks me off when a guy, get a girl pregnant then pretends it’s all her problem.

Good luck with the baby, and I hope he sleeps thought the night sooner then my son did :)

Just my opinion.

Answer 3

your husband seems like a child himself. his actions are immature and inappropriate. im sure he wouldnt like u sitting on a male high school friends lap!

i dont know how far he's going with other girls, but if i were u, i would get a back up plan, just in case.

if u split up, can u afford the appt on your own or do u have family that can help?

Answer 4

That is a bunch of BS on his part. No girl other than his wife should be sitting on his lap. He might change but if he is having to much fun now then highly unlikely that he will. You don't want to be a mother of two so you need to talk with him deeply and see where he stands and if you don't like his answers then you need to get out.

Answer 5

I doubt that he's going to grow up and you clearly see this with what you have written. It's not okay that some girl, knowing you were together, sat in his lap. It's even further from okay that he let her. What's the furthest from okay is that you let him and her continue this behavior.

That bs about "he's just trying to get it out of his system" is just that, bs. He clearly hasn't grown up and it sounds like he isn't good for you or your coming baby.

Good luck.

Answer 6

I feel for you Debbie, however, given that he is only 19, he is still a kid himself. He literally has a lot of growing up to do. But, given your condition, you are right to demand attention and support and no, it's not okay for that girl to be sitting on his lap.
I hate to break it to you but a good indication of what his future behavior would be is to look at his past behavior. I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 7

i would never let a girl sit in my mans lap.no its not alright.if he dosent grow up soon.you need to get a way from him take your baby and leave.i would leave now.before the baby is born if he says he is not ready.go with family.you don't need a loser.take care and good luck.email me if you need too.

Answer 8

NO and some men NEVER grow up and face responsibilities

Answer 9

well me myself.. sees it really wrong .. URGH boys .. are soo gay ... u should have went for an older one .. they are a little more mature !!