why are we soooooo different???

Question

well my sis and i are soooo different..although we were brought up in the same family wth quite the same rules..she's so immature and irresponsible and we argue all the time..i usualy try to stop talking(when we argue)and leave cause that's the only wau!do u also argue wth ur siblings or it's jst the 2 of us?

well i'm not running away instead of solving my problems..it's jst that we'll never find a solution..and stop fighting...that's why i leave

Answer 1

this is the beauty..........

Answer 2

My sister and I never argued, except for one time. We are five years apart, though, and I think having that kind of age difference may be related to our not arguing.

One time, though, I got so sick of her letting her stuff leak over to my half of the bureau (because I was neat, and she wouldn't clear off her half of the bureau, so it would start to leak over to my side) she and I had this one arguing episode. I went around the room we shared and divided up everything into "your side" and "my side".

Is there the chance she's younger than you, and maybe she IS immature and irresponsible because of that? Is there any chance you are seeing her as immature and irresponsible because she may operate differently and in a way you don't quite understand?

Maybe try to have an agreement with your sister that neither of you is going to judge the other one or criticize the other one. Try to decide not to talk about the things that are "sore spots" between you and try to keep conversations to neutral or positive subjects. Try to agree that whatever goes on, the two of you will treat each other with respect.

If you try to work out something like the above it may reduce some of the squabbles.

You're young, and a lot of siblings fight. See if the two of you can "step out of yourselves" and try to reach some kind of cool, calm, objective, and simple plan to reduce the arguments; you'll both be happier.

Answer 3

The difference right now between you and your sister is that you see that you are becoming an adult and she still views herself as a child.

Teach your sister about the person you are becoming. Teach her that you are learning to make responsible decisions, like keeping up in school, being where you say you're going to be, being home on time, and maintaining your living environment without nagging reminders. She will notice how your parents respond to your sense of responsibility.

Teach her about respect. When you speak to people speak to them respectfully. Respond to what they have to say, do not react. Take a breath, think about what you want to say, and say it calmly and respectfully. Respond. Not react. This teaches people respect.

If she starts to dis you in the course of a conversation just say, "Sis, I can't talk about this right now." and walk away.

Your sister will end up being a lifetime friend. Forgive her for being a child now, when she is a child. Look to the person she is going to become. Teach her what it is to be a young adult. Teachers are kind, gentle, and firm in their resolve. Help her to see that you are growing up. Be the Teacher.

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Answer 4

Each person is born with their own unique personality, regardless of who their parents are or how they're raised. Most of it is predetermined at conception, but some of it is affected by family, friends, peers, life circumstances, and the media. No two siblings have the exact same personality, not even twins. The two of you arguing is normal. I have 5 older siblings and they were all adults even when i was born (my mom had me kinda at the end of her fertility period, if u know wat i mean). My older 3 siblings (1 brother & two sisters) were in VN and I didnt get to know them very well. The two siblings who were w/ me in the US (1 brother and 1 sister) got along pretty fine w/ me. My brother was kinda grouchy when I was younger though (felt that I was an accident). But the youngest of my older sisters and I got along great. When she went to live in another state, I cried for days on end. No sibling rivalry experiences there. But then one of my VN sisters decided to use her position as a nun to convince the govt to let her come to the US for 3 months. I was excited to get to know her better. Then she came...and I HATED her. Just hated her. She was as opinionated and stubborn as I was, if not worse. She argued w/ mom and dad and me. But to outsiders, she's as nice as can be. Ppl of the catholic community respect her and her nun crap. I thought they were blind or something. I slammed doors a lot when she was there. How could my favorite sister and the nun sister, who were of the same DNA set, be so different, I thought. But they are. The sister that I missed is a quiet, kind person who keeps her opinions to herself. The nun one always spoke up and wasnt afraid of wat ppl thought. I hate that. But we're sisters, so we have to love each other. Now, you leaving in an argument isnt a bad thing. That is actuallly a smart thing to do sometimes. I mean, come on. Wat can you do, really? Punch her? She'd tell on mom. Leaving is best sometimes because it gives you a chance to cool down before it gets worse, like changes into a physical argument or sumthing. Later on, when you are calm and can actually find the whole thing funny, you can either apologize or pretend it never happened. That is, until another argument comes up. But that's ok. Arguing is good 4 u. Holding it all in is unhealthy and becomes worse. If you hold it in, you might start hurting strangers or sumthing. Don't worry. This is how life is. I'm sure that the two of you love each other deep inside. You will learn to at least argue a little less as you get older. Especially as you two wont be together forever. Enjoy the time that you have now. Dont hurt each other. You two will learn to appreciate each other, but I hope that will come sooner rather than later.

Answer 5

Why so serious? Lighten UP! Joke around with her, stop the debates! I never had a sister and I have seen sisters so close you couldn't drive a wedge around them. You & your sister are a force against the outside world,,,,love each other, comfort each other, help each other. Change the atmosphere right now or you'll grow up enemies. NOT GOOD! Get some family counselling, NOW!

Answer 6

it's totally normal. my sis and i have five years in between us and when we were growing up we'd constantly fight over EVERYTHING. i don't know if it's the age difference or not...but we would never get to agree on anything! but as we grew older, i'd say time has a way of mellowing things out...we never argue over little things anymore...i guess we grew up. :)

Answer 7

Ok great so you walk away rather than sitting down and communicating with your sister to solve a problem? How long have you been running away from your problems?

Answer 8

I believe we all are different because God has a strange sense of humor but the world would be quite boring if we were all the same.

Answer 9

my sis and i are the same..she's 4 years older and always the one to get into trouble...now that we're older she's also the one to get all the attention since she makes a lot of bad decisions. She makes me sooo upset becuse she is SUCH an idiot (by my stndards anyway).we are in our 30's....ha it never gets any better

Answer 10

Nobody is created to be the same. There will be peace in the world, if everybody think and act the same. Dun you think so?

Answer 11

I think it is st normal . as i understood all the brothers and sisters have similar arguments .