A couple who I have known for several years, came to town. We had a big relative get-together. When I asked how long they had been together, they said 11 yrs., although they are only 26 yrs old. When I asked when they were going to tie the knot and have kids, the guy started rambling about how he wanted things to be this way and that way, and the girl was just gvery quiet. I felt bad that I mentioned it, as I knew that it was he that was dragging his feet. What is different than what they are doing now, living together? Do you think she is wasting her time, why do guys do this to girls when they have been together so long? They know they don't want to get married, it is just an excuse. I could tell. Is it fair? I know of another case just like this one too... is it really not the right time, or just don't want to get married??? The guy I mean, why? My husband and I knew each othe 6 months, but I am sure if I had agreed to just live with him, we would not possibly not be married today
2006-10-14 20:35:47 · 11 answers · asked by shardf 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I have been married before and had a child from that marriage. So I do know how marriage can go wrong. But, I just think when they have been together so long, what is the diff. than what they are doing now? I guess I don't get it?
2006-10-14 20:59:51 · update #1
A lot of people see a marriage license kind of like ownership papers. They feel like if they get married it's saying that gives people the right to tell other exactly how to live and what they should do, etc. Or it could be that one person isn't really as serious about the relationship as the other. They are pretty young to have been together for that long. Usually marriages at young ages doesn't work out especially if one or the other or both haven't really experienced life yet.
2006-10-14 20:42:28 · answer #1 · answered by sweet.pjs1 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
emotionally unavailable, afraid, can't commit.
I'm going through this dance with my boyfriend right now. and guess what? we even have the rings! he just "Isn't ready", "wants a better job first", "better place to live", so basically he's waiting until he's 50 with a stable job and home. and in the meantime, I wait until he's ready. Marriage to me doesn't have to do with how much money you have or what kind of job you've got. I thought it was all about being so in love that you just have to get married. I just think they are unable to commit. Because marriage, really, isn't about money or houses or jobs, it's about love. those are just excuses. I mean it does help to have some type of career goal or financial stability, of course. But if you're doing fine with money/jobs/whatever else they say then there shouldn't be a problem with tying the knot.
2006-10-15 03:54:59 · answer #2 · answered by Bitterly Sweet 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think some people don't get married because (not) everyone believes that it is necessary. Some people are motivated by religion, or family or personal beliefs, but many (like me) just don't feel like marriage is for everyone. If more people got married for the right reasons, maybe there would be less divorce. I think marriage is a very personal, individual thing, those who are for marriage seem to assume that everyone is, but in reality it's not the case.
2006-10-15 03:49:45 · answer #3 · answered by Kerry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not just guy's drag their feet,I have been with my boyfriend for 18yrs now and I don't wont to marry we are happy the way we are and it hasn't affected my children at all,I have known friends that have been together for years but once they got married things went wrong and they ed had split up just after six months of marriage,but it is up to the individual.
2006-10-15 03:46:02 · answer #4 · answered by wizardalli 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For some people married works for some not. I'm the one who prefer only free will being together with full responsibility and excitement of freedom and trust .Married takes the fresh air.
Maybe you still don't understand, but married didn't work for me.
2006-10-15 03:41:38 · answer #5 · answered by Toto 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Some people have been hurt and it takes them years to get over it. Some people have small children to raise and they don't want to marry until that job is done.
Other people find reasons to keep putting it off. Its their lives, so who really cares? I feel that love is a wonderful treasure and you should marry that person.
2006-10-15 03:39:01 · answer #6 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a wonderful and smart person and question you are and asked!
The guy just will not commit. In the mean time the girl falls in love with him. It is hard to let go. It is NOT fair. It is our fault for allowing them to spend so much time with us so I am told.
2006-10-15 03:42:33 · answer #7 · answered by linguini11 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I dont understand that either! I think your friend might get a hint it's not happening...the marriage thing. She's needs to do something if he doesnt. Get out or get married.
2006-10-15 03:45:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS TO LOOK AT THIS . I GUESS IT MAKES SOME FEEL GOOD TO MARRY . OTHERS SEE IT AS PAPER WORK LATER - FOR LAWYERS .AND A MONEY TAKER . I'M MARRIED . BUT I CAN SEE BOTH SIDES .
2006-10-15 03:52:24 · answer #9 · answered by tia c 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHY WOULD YOU GO BUY MILK AT THE STORE.......IF YOU HAVE A COW IN YOU BARN..?
2006-10-15 03:43:31 · answer #10 · answered by BLUEEYES 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋