If your child came out to you as bisexual, what would your words of wisdom be?

Question

I only want positive responses please. Any negative (or hatred filled answers will be reported)

To the person who said that children do not have a sexual identity. Every person is a child to their parent. I am my parents child even when I am an adult.

Answer 1

As the mother of 3 adult daughters, my best advice would be the same advice I have always given them. Find out what makes you happy and live life to the fullest. Sexual preferences are personal choices and they know how to practice safe sex. Funny thing about your kids they already know how we feel about everything.....

Parental love is unconditional and we love our children regardless of the path they choose in life. Yes, at their conception we have preconceived notions or what we think their lives might be, but life is not as predictable as youth would have us believe.

peace and happiness....

Answer 2

Nothing too much would change, for me at least (as the father). I would tell my child that I still loved him and would support him in any way I could. I wouldn't try to have every question about bisexuality under the sun answered right then and there though. It would be a slow, give-and-take process. Don't bring up the possibility of eventually marrying and having trouble in the marriage. It would be much too early to discuss things like that.

I do think though that I would give the "canned" warning the most parents of gays seem to give: don't be promiscuous and always take part in safe sex.

It will probably take you longer to understand and accept the concept of bisexuality than it would homosexuality.

If a child come to that point and told you about their true orientation, outright, that means he has thought about this a long time. In all probability, he has already gone through the process of figuring out he is not homosexual or is not "just going through a stage." It's really when one realize, deep down inside, that he is not homosexual, but still is attracted to the same sex, that you know that he has at least started to accept his true sexual orientation. It's really more important that he has self-acceptance than any acceptance he receives from you.

Answer 3

Orditz,
It depends on how old the are. Younger people often have trouble dealing with hormonal changes and to them it might have translated into them being so sure of something like that, but a phase.

So if they were earliest of teens age, I would probably say something like, "Remember the Lord, keep your eyes on Him and don't worry about it. Let go eat something, I'm starved." And then let my child do most of the talking and asking of questions, if there are any.

If the kid is older, say late teens to early twenties I might ask, "So which do you prefer, boys or girls?" and then,"Keep your eyes on the Lord, the Author and Finisher of Faith, Let's go eat, I'm famished." And then let them do most of the talking about it.

As a Bi Sexual Christian, I think that what's most important is the relationship between us and God. All the other stuff is just other stuff. nothing should get in the way of the relationship between us and God.

Answer 4

My daughter did come out to me as bisexual. Actually the conversation went like this.

Daughter: "I've joined the on campus GLBT group, mom, I'm hoping to meet some new friends."
Mom: "That's nice dear, but shouldn't you be involved in a group where you can find a date?"
Daughter: "Mom! I'm bisexual, everyone else has known for years, even Dad!"
Mom: "Wow, I never noticed!"
Daughter: "Mom! You are bisexual yourself, how could you not notice!"
Mom: "Well hon, you know how busy I am cleaning the basement......."

Really even though I am bisexual and lifestyle D/s, with a female life partner and submissive, and her dad is a bisexual Drag Queen, I never noticed she was bi. I guess that's because its really not important to me as a parent. I have intelligent, socially aware, well adjusted and entertaining daughters. I raised them. I trust their decisions most of the time, including their choice of partner on most levels. Actually I was more concerned when her twin dated the catholic boy all through high school and most of college. Thank goodness she dumped him and married my now son in law, a raving pagan. Fits right in.

The gist of this is, I don't care. I love my daughters unconditionally and that means accepting (even the catholic boy), their chosen partners unless its proven that that person is harmful to them. My words of wisdom would simply be the same for anyone they brought home, make sure you are the most important thing in his/her life or at least treats you as if you are. Don't settle for less.

Answer 5

First of all, I'll definitely tell my child that I'll always love and care for them no matter what their sexual choice is. I want to always keep the lines open when it come to my peeps. That way they could feel comfortable coming to talk to me about almost anything. I'll treat them like any other child/parent relationship, tell them about safe sex when the time is right, don't smoke or drink, etc. etc. And the bi part, I'll tell them to always be honest about that cause not everyone is comfortable with the thought of a person going both ways as far as their sexual choice . O(

Answer 6

My words of wisdom would be: Rather than limit yourself to a world constrained by the notion of only two sexes, recognize that human bodies are on a beautiful spectrum, and regardless of the shapes and sizes, beautiful souls can live anywhere, regardless of sex, whether they are male, female, intersex, sex neutral, etc.

And also important, disregard any dissaproval from society, because most people don't know a whole lot about their fellow humans, sex, gender, sexual orientation, or human identity in general, and certainly cannot be counted on as authority figures offering much of anything of value in their criticism, aside from mis/uneducation.

Answer 7

the best thing that i could think to tell my child if i had one would be that i love them no matter what. that there are no conditions to that love. i would encourage them to be safe no matter who they are with because they are my child and i want them around for a long time. i would encourage them not to be too hard on theirselves no matter what the media and the right wing extremists say or our own president for that matter. i would also make sure that they know that even though there will be alot of hard times and hurtful things said by ones they care about that they are truly an amazing person and that i will always be there for them no matter what.

Answer 8

I'd probably say something like...
"Well, it's not how I thought things might turn out, so it may take me some time to re-adjust. I hope you can be patient with me. I always knew that you would have to be your own person one day, and that it might be different from what I expected. I can remember like yesterday when you were just a baby, and I love you just as much today. My main concern is that you're not doing something that may hurt yourself, so please keep yourself safe. I knew that if I could raise a good person to put into the world, that I could be happy and proud, and that's just what you've made me."

Answer 9

I would say "There is too much crap in this life, do whatever makes you happy. The only thing i want for you is to be happy." And "i Love you very much".

Children are blessed by the ability to express unconditional love, I would make sure my child understood the abaility of others to create pain.

Answer 10

I would tell tell my child that no matter what sexual prefernce they have wont change how much i love them and that they will go through some bumpy roads cuz there are people out there who will judge but the important thing is to always keep ur head move on and ignore all those who try to bring u down.