2006-10-14 20:28:31 · 8 answers · asked by Polash 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your wife links your feelings for her to your sexual behavior with her because most woman feel that sex is an affirmation of love. If you are withholding sex from your wife, then you are sending a strong signal to her which is that you have a casual disregard for her wants and needs as your wife and as a woman. My question is why do you not make love to her? Perhaps she has a higher sex drive? Are you not attracted to her anymore? Is there a medical problem which prevents it? You should take the time to explore the answers to those questions. Chances are that the lack of sex isn't the issue at all. You may find that the lack of sex is a direct or indirect cause from the main issue in your marriage. In short, sex is a vital part of a marriage and should never be withheld as a punishment.
2006-10-14 20:37:36 · answer #1 · answered by lilmisstickletoo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Read DF's answer.
She is 100% on the nose.
Making love is not about sex...it is about connecting in a way that only people who truly love each other can.
Women tend to personalize everything ....and when your husband doesn't want to be with you, you feel very lonely in your marriage.
If you love her, truly love her....figure out why you can't make love to her. See a counselor. Is it stress? Is there something about her that turns you off? Do you have a physical issue?
Physical love is so important....touching, caressing, loving hands can work wonders. People who feel loved live longer, happier lives.
Some people want to make love daily, others are satisfied with once a week.... you have to figure out a happy balance between what you want and what she wants.
If you feel as if you're in a vicious cycle its because you connect for a short period of time, then disconnect. You have to find other ways of connecting when you are not being physical with eachother. If you have other common interests and can do things together -- then the pressure to have sex will be lessened.
I truly think that intimacy is the key to happiness in all of our relationships. You need to find ways of incorporating intimacy (calls from work, love notes, im's, golf, exercise, etc. things you can do together....to reassure her that you love her and to keep you from getting disconnected.
2006-10-15 03:42:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because we women believe the two are one in the same. It is not just a physical release for us as it is for men. It is a time to bond emotionally and connects her with you in a way that she can not connect (and doesn't want to) with anybody else on the planet.
When the man physically loves his woman it makes her feel sexy, desired, wanted and loved. When he doesn't, she doesn't. And those things are better then air. I mean, it's called making love for a reason.
She knows (hopefully) that this is the one thing she shares with just you...and you with her. It is an expression of love. When done well, it shows her that you feel more for her than any body else in the world. Because you are giving her the very essense of you. You are showing her your vulerabilities and she is giving you hers. What could possibly be more intimate then being naked with someone you have deep feelings for and an emotional bond with
And it is a blow to her self esteem, she feels unattractive and as if something must be wrong with her (physical being) that you are not aroused by her. She's afraid of losing that bond and the emotions she feels for you are not being returned. It hurts her deeply because it's not just about the physical act of sex.
And..by the way, this is often how the other man steps in. He will say the things she wants to hear... make her feel beautiful, sexy and most of all desired...his lust will be mistaken by her, for love...and she will be seduced. Because if she has told you she feels you don't love her.. to her physical love is right up there with air. And she wants to breathe.
2006-10-14 21:03:42 · answer #3 · answered by D F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you must have been making love with your wife a lot at some point for her to feel that...and now youve lessened the amount of physical time with her. What's changed? You need to figure out why your wife wants to make love and you dont....better do it quick or she'll spiral to being self contious or low esteem.
Better start being serious about your love life. ;)
2006-10-14 20:36:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes she thinks rite an happy marriage links 2 healthy sex life
2006-10-14 21:08:22 · answer #5 · answered by indian beauty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make love and do it often. Keep it interesting and fun.
2006-10-14 20:52:18 · answer #6 · answered by Gorgeoustxwoman2013 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to get viagra- your wife DESERVES to have a husband who is sexual with her... she will either feel resentful or look elsewhere......
2006-10-14 22:20:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wants it , you owe it to her. If you want it, you will have to wait your turn.
2006-10-15 01:32:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋