I've been in a hidden realtionship for over a year (and i saw hidden because no one knew we were together cuz i was never sure if he was the person i wanted to be with). because we were hidding our realtionship we oviously had to lie and hide when we saw each other. 90% of the time we spent alone together was inside a car at night. almost all those times we ended up doing something sexual, mostly having oral sex. Many times i didnt want to do it but i always felt that i owed him because i was making him keep our relationship secret. When i will tell him that i didnt want to do anything he will always get mad and say that i was rejecting him and he would make me feel bad and i will give in. Many times i would feel molested because i will tell him to stop touching me but he will ignore me and contiunue. It came to a point where i even felt that he was manipulating me to make out with him when i didnt want to. almost always i would go home & cry. Im i overreacting?
2006-10-14 20:16:19 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No, you are not over reacting. No, means no. Sounds like he wants you for one thing only and that's sex. You should drop him like a hot potato ! Find someone else who is worthy of you. Good luck hun !
2006-10-14 20:20:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
nothing that is hidden is good for you. Whats the reason that you have 2 keep him a secret? It's okay not to be 100% sure that you want to be with someone but if you are still trying to decide, you shouldn't be seeing him inside a car in the first place. Be firm and learn to say no and stand on your word. I don't think you are overreacting because any guy that makes you feel guilty and makes you want to cry after you see him is obviously bad news. My best advice to you is to get rid of him and fast. When you find the one, you wont need to question it. you will just know
2006-10-14 20:30:31 · answer #2 · answered by laural8477 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question should read: "IS THIS RAPE OR AM I OVER-REACTING?"
Many times i didnt want to do it but i always felt that i owed him because i was making him keep our relationship secret.
-If he didn't force you into it it isn't rape!
When i will tell him that i didnt want to do anything he will always get mad and say that i was rejecting him and he would make me feel bad and i will give in.
-That's mental abuse. He made you do it-but not physically.
You were scared of getting hurt.
Many times i would feel molested because i will tell him to stop touching me but he will ignore me and contiunue.
-That's sexual assault.
Lady, don't you know there is such a word as "NO"??!
Stick with it, and don't confuse the male!!
(If he doesn't understand it, THEN he is committing a crime!)
2006-10-14 20:30:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Grow a backbone ! If you don't want it then say so with conviction. If you just mumble no or say it in a breathy voice then the guy hears "I'm thinking about it, try harder."
This is a scary problem and I don't appreciate women who convince themselves after the fact that they've been assaulted. If you say rape then the guys life will be changed forever. Accusations like that cost men their freedom, their jobs and the respect of their community.
Rape is a horrid crime. Women who suffer it should have the satisfaction of seeing the rapists punished. Spurious claims of rape cast doubt in jurors minds when they are asked to judge. Don't cloud the water with your feelings of regret for something you agreed to do at the time.
2006-10-14 20:26:34 · answer #4 · answered by Cain 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you're feeling this way it's time to find someone who will respect your wishes. I don't know if it can really be called rape or not, but it is a form of mental abuse when someone plays guilt trips on you all the time and tries to make you feel bad for not doing what they want you to do, whether it be sex or whatever.
2006-10-14 20:23:34 · answer #5 · answered by sweet.pjs1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You giving in because he made you feel bad is not rape. However, if he touched you when you said no, then it is rape.
Why on earth are you with someone who makes you feel bad, manipulates you and does things you don't want him to do.
The only person who can stop this is you.
2006-10-14 20:22:21 · answer #6 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
And this went on for how long? Why did you keep going back? You share some responsibility in this after the first time.
2006-10-14 20:31:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i opt for a number of what you're dropping. yet once you quite think of that's occurring then call the law enforcement officials. Are your mothers and dads around? possibly yell for them. Or in case you are able to not get to a telephone, instant message a chum and characteristic them call the 911 for you. Or acquire skype and use your one unfastened call to call the warmth. something!! arise with somebody.
2016-11-23 12:35:30 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he did not force himself on you with physical force then you are as much to blame. It sounds to me like you were sending him mixed messages. Giving oral sex on request, etc. Learn to say no and mean it.
2006-10-14 20:22:25 · answer #9 · answered by lilmisstickletoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's manipulating you and from the sounds of it, he is psychologicaly raping you. It will be a matter of time he will rape you for real. You need to put a stop to this immediately.
2006-10-14 20:21:01 · answer #10 · answered by l2wh 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋