im in love with my borfriend and i want to marry him. weve talked about marriage but he always says he wants to get married later on once he gets money and finishes college. i want to marry him now and get money together and finish college together. i know i cant make someone marry him and i dont want to try to do that but what can i do to prove to him that i want to marry him and that i am the one for him and i can be a wonderful wife. we have been together for almost 6 years...
2006-10-14 20:09:42 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
IF YOU'VE BEEN TOGETHER THIS LONG, JUST WAIT. IT'S TOO HARD TO GO TO SCHOOL, WORK AND BE MARRIED AT THE SAME TIME. WHAT IS THE HURRY?? I'M SURE HE KNOWS THAT YOU ARE THE RIGHT ONE IF YOU HAVE BEEN TOGETHER THAT LONG. OTHERWISE HE WOULD HAVE LEFT YOU ALREADY. ARE YOU PREGNANT?? FOLLOW HIS STEPS-HE'S DOING THE RIGHT THING. TRUST ME-I HAVE EXPERIENCE!!!!
2006-10-15 01:34:51 · answer #1 · answered by kimandkaitlyn2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
6 years huh?. ok if you are 25 or over or will be 25 within 6 mths you need to have a conversation with him. Since he wants to wait till after graduation ask him since graduation is in 2007 will we get married in 2008? or whenever the date will be. If he's ok with that u have no problem. If he gives you a song and a dance then you a convenient relationship not a life long relationship. You then need to ask yourself how any more years are you willing to take a chance that may possibly be a waste? Cause 6 years will be 10 years before you know it. Then the next thing you know he will tell you that you have been together for so long that we should try seeing other people before we do this and then he ups and marries someone else within 2years.
I've seen it happen twice. Which is why I had a rule when I was single never date anyone more than 3 years if you can't get a firm commitment from them. If you do not know how to bring up the subject you ask this question where do you see us in two years? If runs off in wrong direction then he's special and you need to be direct. Ask him point blank look I would like to get married in two or three years do you see yourself asking me to marry you in that time? If he says yes then you have a keeper, no move on, maybe so re-ask the question in 6mths.
Yes I had to preach for a moment cause there are too many people female and some males who are in convenient long-term deadend relationships that are leading nowhere but to feeling used and physically drained. It's 2006 almost 2007 its time to stop the madness!!
2006-10-15 06:22:18 · answer #2 · answered by missnuarlens 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it just him in college, or is it both of you? If it is just him then I would say that he is not interested in marrying you but finds you a nice and supportive relationship while he is making his way through college. I suspect that once he graduates he plans to move on and away from you. If both of you are attending college, he may be your life, soul mate, everything... you may get married and grow old together... maybe not. My advise to all women is to finish your education before you get married. I have seen and heard of too many women that get married when you are both in college, low and behold the couple gets pregnant, and it is the woman's education that gets derailed and then one day you find yourself divorced and never finished school. If you are both in love and have been together for six years then it working and if you are truly meant to be together it will still be there for you when you graduate. Focus on YOUR education and protect your future whether it is with this man or with someone else. Good Luck!
2006-10-15 03:30:47 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this: is it that important you need to marry him now? If so, WHY? Can't you marry him once he finish college?
Ask him this: Is it that important he need to marry after finishing college? If so, WHY? Can't he marry you now and finish college together?
Compare your 2 answers and you might see a trend which you 2 can work it out...
I hate to say this, I tend to lean on his side. Marriage shouldn't be rush. Have you consider how much it cost? time invest on wedding: invitation, banquet, decoration, honeymoon planning, etc.. Do you think you have time to do all that and still going to college? Isn't going college is to advance your career and to do that, you need to STUDY? Beside, marriage should be once in a lifetime thingie... you want to rush it and have a nightmare wedding because one or both of you need to study for middterm and final and that one or both can't do the wedding prepartion as planned... Beside after college, you will have more time to plan all that and have a LITTLE less stress free wedding... Beside, if he's still around after college and marry you, he's definitely going to be around when you are 60.
Why do you want to get marry now? Are you afraid that he might be snatch away? If he can be snatch away that easily, he's not the one for keep in the first place. If you think marriage will tie you 2 together, well wake up and smell the coffee... If he doesn't want to be with you sometime in the future, regardless of marriage, he still will leave you through divorce... So why not wait. Beside, is he not treating you well when you are not marry???
So why not be a wonderful wife and wait for a wonderful husband to come into your life when the BOTH of you are ready.
2006-10-15 03:25:40 · answer #4 · answered by tdbhc33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you have been together almost 6 years why are you in such a hurry now? The most logical thing to do is to wait until you both finish college. The money thing is always going to be an issue, but it is easier to finish school when you are not married.
2006-10-15 03:13:06 · answer #5 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first, you certainly don't want to try to force someone into marrying you. I would ask him to explain in depth the true reason why he wants to wait to get married. Honestly, whether you marry now or after college won't make a big difference. It won't necessarily delay your education either, unless you want to delay it. I have several friends that married early during their college careers, and they graduated early or right on time with bachelor's, and are now going ot get advanced graduate degrees (masters, PHD, etc.).
Getting marrried "later on once he gets money and finishes college" just doesn't make sense. I think there is a deeper reason. I hope you find out. If he just isn't interested in the same level of committment that you are, then maybe it i stime to move on.
Good louck
2006-10-15 05:36:38 · answer #6 · answered by iloveeeyore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u are reali in love with each other marriage is not so impt for the time being n your age right now..jus enjoy the frredom u still have now cos once married responsibility came about in a big flow..u will be unable to concentrate well in ur studies in college too..time can proves everything..it doesn't mean that earlier marriage can prove it..use ur action,understanding and caring prove to him he will be sure u will be a wonderful wife in future when u married to him..
2006-10-15 03:20:30 · answer #7 · answered by SeRiNa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the loser and losing the game if you get marry unprepared on this time. What you show is jealousies, selfishness, unsecure, possessive and stoburn and stupid. Both of you are still studying and why are you in a hurry, are you pregnant? Marriage is not a joke but a responsibilty for a future family. It is not good for people not yet ready. It is unfruitful and unhappy marriage to pressure a guy to marry you in your conditions. Just wait for him offering you this kind of marriage proposal for both of you will be happy.
2006-10-15 03:21:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finish college first!! Believe me, you don't need the added stress in a marriage of trying to go to college and be married! It sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders, you may not want to lose this one.
2006-10-15 03:21:25 · answer #9 · answered by Cadmaniam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
technically speaking you two are married, if you've been together living under the same roof for more than 2 years, its considered common law marriage. What you want is that wedding. Be patient with him, enjoy the promising time together. 6 years together and rest assure you'll be together for the rest of your lives. Good luck to you both...
2006-10-15 03:21:06 · answer #10 · answered by deais74 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋