If I get into an argument with my husband about anything at all, he tells me that it's my failt and insults me, even if we were working on it tofether. He has mood swingd and he cheated on me with a stranger that me met on the side of the road. He's still proud of it. He tells me all the time how he would hava her again. Now I'm out of money for school and my husband is spending the money that I have saved ion the bar. He says it is my fault that there isn't more left. He says that he has a mental disorder and I am supposted to be patient while he deals with it. It soulds to me like he's just a manipulative liar and his only mental disorder comes from constantly drinking. What now?
This is the end of the tline. I don't know who to call or what steps to take to get out. This is my only homw. I need him to get out of it.
2006-10-14 19:35:11 · 12 answers · asked by Em 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is full of misprints. I'm sorry.
2006-10-14 19:37:54 · update #1
Thank you. I can't believe these words are coming out of myself. It just be a good sign. Thank you all so much already for your support. I haven't felt this for a while. It's like waking up and not knowing where to begin. Thank you. My mame is Erica.
2006-10-14 22:03:56 · update #2
He sounds like a complete idiot. You don't have to put up with this. Give him two options: Shape up or ship out! You deserve to be with someone who is proud to be with YOU. Not some stranger on the side of the road. This is a test of your self worth. Don't blow it. You can have a better life. It's totally up to you.
2006-10-14 19:39:15 · answer #1 · answered by NSisifo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm feeling so sorry for you. I hope things get better. My husband is a child too, but in different ways. I can't totally relate because my husband is a child because I spoil him, and it seems that you are out of money. I would say to to get professional help, but I know how expensive that can be. (I got that when I was a kid, and I know that is EXPENSIVE-now that I'm in the military it's free ... anyway)
Do you think he still love you? He seems to be throwing this one-night-stand with a stranger in your face a lot. THat isn't fair or right. Maybe if you can go away for a while. Just you. Maybe for 2 weeks or more. If you can afford it. Find a friend away from where you live or relitives. You don't need to tell them why. Just say you are keeping up ties with friends and family, they will apreciate that. Everyone doesn't need to know. So here's the plan, be really sweet to him before you leave. Get him a gift and be really nice no matter what. DO that for a few days, (3-4) then leave him a note the day you leave (or something?) the day you leave telling him how you feel and howhe is hurting you and that you still love him but that you need support from people who actually SHOW you they love you (family/friends). There is a saying that "you never know what you have until it's gone"
Good luck
2006-10-14 19:50:54 · answer #2 · answered by ur a Dee Dee Dee 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What now? Get away from him as fast as possible and by any means necessary. This man is a menace to you. A living time bomb. If you can't get him out of the house then you need to get out. Fast!
You can have him removed from your house. Call 911 report him as a sick or intox and you are in fear for your life. You can also report him as being mentally unstable. Then you can get him on a mental hygiene arrest.The police can see you are the helpless defenseless female ( that's the truth) who is under great duress. If you can get him locked up and out of the house for awhile you will have some time to figure out what to do next. This most certainly involves getting a divorce. Do you have any friends or family that you could stay with for awhile? Contact a hot line support group for abused women (look in the yellow pages). See about getting yourself into a women's shelter. Swear out a restraining order. You need to keep him away from you. Do you have a job? If not you need to get one. Start thinking about becoming a self reliant independent person.
If you haven't figured it out already you need to know that this person, that you call your husband, is a hopeless alcoholic who also has a pathological mental disorder. This makes him especially dangerous to you. He could very easily end your life and not even know what he is doing. So consider your life as being at risk. At this point in your life you need to do what ever you can for yourself. Don't even think about him anymore because his life is beyond control. You can't even compare him to a child. More like a rabid animal who's brain has mal- fuctioned. He certainly needs help but this is not your problem anymore. From now on you and your safety are the only things that matter.
Oh and one other thing. When you finally do get away from him don't even think of taking him back. No matter how much he pleads cajoles cries promises threatens whatever! Don't believe a word he says or else you will be back where you are now. You can never trust this person again.
2006-10-14 20:52:07 · answer #3 · answered by quantumview 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We're on the same page girl, my husband and i argue alot about little things, he has mood swings but he never cheated on me. He drinks alot too and I avoid making him mad because he has a mental disorder too, like he can't control his anger, he screams and it's way too scary. I helped him by teaching him how to control his anger and you can do the same with your husband, explain to him what's wrong and right. But if you fail to make things right, try to consult a psychologist or an expert with those kind of people. I don't really know who exactly you should go to.
With these kind of people, you definitely have to have a very long patience. Make sure that he doesn't hurt you physically. Goodluck!
2006-10-14 19:45:00 · answer #4 · answered by Unhappy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If his name is NOT on the lease or the deed to the home -- then he HAS to leave -- it is YOUR home and he is just a visitor.
At this point, with all the problems you two are having, have you both tried counseling .... or are you thinking of divorce?
How about talking to one of the Abuse Hotlines in your home town -- the phone number is in the phone book. Call them up, explain your situation, and see what they can do to help you.
The reason I am suggesting the Abuse Hotline IS because YOU have made statements in your question lead me to believe there is VERBAL Abuse and Emotional Abuse going on (at a minimum) -- and you need to have that outlet (the Abuse Hotline and Abuse Counselors) to help you talk through and to obtain the information you may well need to LEAVE this abusive relationship.
2006-10-14 20:02:54 · answer #5 · answered by sglmom 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
first of all you don't need to apologize about your misprints...and secondly you deserve to be treated better than that. A man who talks proudly about the things he's done is a F***king Jack A**. pardon my language. I'm not blaming you for the situation that you're in, cause its not you it's your husband. But I'm getting sick and tired of hearing S**T from woman who continue to stay with guys who treat them like S**t. Do yourself a favor leave him, you don't need that. You deservse to be treated better than that...If you need help to get rid of his sorry ***, call the police and tell them your situation, or go to a friends house for a bit till things cool down. but please do something...I hope the best for you.
2006-10-14 20:16:30 · answer #6 · answered by deais74 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Omg! Thats awful, All i can think of is pray, and i really mean PRAY, God is there and hes listening. I will pray 4 you, and your husband. Because ya never know, there could still be hope. Miracles are only a breathe away. And Jesus can perform those miracles. I know you might say Jesus isnt real, but just pray and pray, He will answer. :-) Jesus Loves ya! No matter what trials your going thru. I hope you consider. Cya!
2006-10-14 19:42:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have family or a friend you can live with till your on your own feet???? You really need to get out now...Contact a lawyer, they have free 1st time visits, see what your opitions are, you can as the court to make your husband pay legal fees...Just do what you can to get out....
2006-10-14 20:01:25 · answer #8 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hon,
you answered your own question!
HE IS A MANIPULATIVE LIAR
2006-10-14 20:03:43 · answer #9 · answered by Deb 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
what know...divorce....file the papper work at the court house
2006-10-14 19:40:06 · answer #10 · answered by *VodkaTonic* 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋