2006-10-14 19:14:02 · 19 answers · asked by BambiQ 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Thank you all for your answers. All the things that you guys have mentioned are exactly everything I have been seeing and hearing from my best friend. I guess she's gay then.
I am a lesbian myself, there is a great chemistry between us, everyone else tells me that my friend likes me but she keeps saying she's straight. So I haven't made any move. And at anytime in our conversation, when I happen to say something referring to "gay" "lesbian" or use the word "girlfriend," she does get quiet or pretend that she didn't hear it. Sometimes I correct the word, saying "oh, I mean female friend," she will look up and lets out a sigh or be like "yah..."
This is why I have always thought that she's straight after all, so she doesn't like hearing or joking about homosexuality, and so I don't joke about it with her as I'm afraid it offends a straight girl.
Anyway, thanks again for your help. Now I know she may be gay. I'll just wait till she feels comfortable to come out herself.
2006-10-15 05:08:02 · update #1
When they can NEVER come out and say "I'm gay!" When they fight with you if you ask them a question about it. If you tell offensive gay jokes around them and they never laugh. Everytime others bring up the gay topic they get quiet. They feel the need to defend themselves, even though the topic wasn't directed toward them.
These are CLEAR signs of denial!
2006-10-14 22:09:02 · answer #1 · answered by heiswhite 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By being intuitive and knowing that person really well. It is not about stereotypical 'signs of gayness'. It is about things said and done that imply at the very least a questioning mind.
Sexuality is never black and white, so just because they're not fitting a 'straight' label they might not fit a 'gay' one and sometimes that can be the root of denial. The best thing you can do is make them feel comfortable about expressing how they feel, because then in the fullness of time it will become apparent what they really want.
2006-10-14 19:21:06 · answer #2 · answered by waggy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it's not outright denial (self-denial). Many times it is an intentional covering up act that they have rehearsed many times over with friends and relatives.
The signs for me, at least as far as men go?
1.No dating or little dating of women.
2.Complete lack of homophobia.
3.Uncontrollable staring at men, especially in the locker room or at the pool or beach.
4.Crotch-watching.
5.They talk about a relative who is gay -- it's like they are starting to indirectly tell you about themselves.
6.Complete appearance of being at ease at talking about homosexuality or bisexuality as long as you are not referring to them.
7.You hint at or outrightly tell them your own orientation and they do not blink an eye and in fact appear to be more at ease around you.
8.They use the term in conversation, "not totally straight."
9.Hiding out behavior -- where they live, where they work, the types of jobs they limit themselves to.
10. They realize you know their true orientation and tell you that they've reached a point in the friendship where they cannot self-disclose that kind of information -- even to a trusted friend who has self-disclosed to them.
11.There is an overriding and unnecessary fear of their relatives finding out information about them that might come back to haunt them.
In general, I think you have to know the person for quite some time to figure him or her out. But once you do, you know it.
2006-10-14 22:11:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure it's important that you are able to recognize this and/or tell a person this as it is to be a good supportive friend and accept people where they are today in their lives....
Each of us individually evolve into who we are at our own pace. Self discovery and experience should not be mandated by anyone else's standards.
Spend this time pondering your own path and make personal improvements so you can make contributions to the world you live in and the people you love. This should take up all that time you have to ponder such things....
peace and happiness...
2006-10-14 19:25:32 · answer #4 · answered by easinclair 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When they keep coming into the LGBT category and repeatedly post harassing questions only to be banned EVERYDAY...so they have to keep making up new profiles to continue their habit.
They can't stay away..they know they're gay, but they just can't wrap their minuscule brains around the concept.
2006-10-14 19:28:09 · answer #5 · answered by DEATH 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if a guy claiming to be straight repeatedly stares at good-looking men (or better yet, you catch him watching gay porn), chances are that he's in denial.
2006-10-14 19:17:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Only if my "gaydar" goes off really strong and they are in a hetero relationship. Even then, I am not out to change anybody though.
2006-10-14 19:17:52 · answer #7 · answered by Cub6265 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't! Only the person can know forsure; we can only see what seems like signs. If a person wants their sexuality to be a certain way - so be it!
2006-10-14 20:15:59 · answer #8 · answered by Sofia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when a guy says 'really, i'm not gay' right before and right after having sex with me.
2006-10-15 04:10:11 · answer #9 · answered by Spyder 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you catch them looking, but they admittedly deny that they were or they get overly nervous because you caught them.
2006-10-15 03:14:50 · answer #10 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋