One of my friends who has helped raise his nephews from the time they were ages 5&7 until now( they are 25 & 27) recently told me that he's never gotten a thank you from them for stepping in when their father abandoned them. Their father went to jail and when he got out he made no effort to be in their lives at all and paid no child support what so ever. My buddy became a major influence in their lives as far as a male goes. He taught them sports, kept them from gangs and really taught them to become fine young men. But it bothers him because neither one of them has never came to him and expressed any kind of gratitude for what he did for them. Maybe i would feel that way to, i don't know, but i told him that i'm sure they appreciate it, but i guess it would be nice for my friend to hear it from them. Is he making a big deal out of nothing? Or does he have a right to feel this way? Need some good advice on this one!
2006-10-14 19:04:40 · 8 answers · asked by Cool Breeze 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Apparently, neither he nor his sister taught those kids how to express gratitude. That's learned behavior. Is that really the nephews' fault?
2006-10-14 19:08:28 · answer #1 · answered by naughtybabyjesus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did your friend tell his father thank you for steping up and taking care of him? Probably not. These things are very seldom said but more so shown. (You may think this doesn't compare because your friend wasn't their father but with so many fathers and mothers walking away it's not much different)
Do these boys not have anything to do with your friend now? Once children grow up then tend to move on without much thought of who helped them get to where they are until.....
They have children of their own (especially teens)
Wait until then and see what happens. Until then encourage your friend to continue to be a part of the boys' life in anyway they will let him. Tell him not to be pushy... nobody likes to be made to feel as if they owe someone something.
When you love someone... do they owe you?
2006-10-15 02:12:38 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well of course its ok to feel that way damn i would too it's like helping someone and not getting a thank you personaly i think eveyone should feel this way. Maybe they dont relize it yet what ur friend really did for them i am sure down the road they will relize how importion it really was.
2006-10-15 02:10:54 · answer #3 · answered by typhaniee0027 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They do appreciate it. And they showed it by responding to the fatherly love that he gave. They looked at him as "daddy". And kids don't often say thank you for raising me. They feel when they have it good that is was their right anyway.
Some kids don't accept guidance. So molding them intohonorable men IS the thank you.
2006-10-15 02:11:19 · answer #4 · answered by cami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think that they should say Thank you. or maybe even the dad should say that. It's hard to do the right thing sometimes and if he helped them stay straight and do the right things, then I applaud him. Or maybe they dont quite know how to say thank you. maybe someone should talk to them. maybe he should sit down with them and ask them if they understand what he did for them. Good luck and I applaud your friend's actions.
2006-10-15 02:09:43 · answer #5 · answered by val 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he most definitly deserves a thank you. no one ever steped into my fathers shoes wen he left. he did all taht for him, yes he dessefrves these kids to giv ther lives for him. hes done everything even tho he didnt have the obligation to do anything. tahts something very cool. hehe. but yea he definitly deservs about 4978 million thanx.
2006-10-15 02:10:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is still close to them I would tell him just to talk to them maybe they dont realize how much hard work he did to give them better lifes. I'm sure that if they knew or see how much that they mean to him they will sat thanks or at least the gesture will be there.
2006-10-15 02:09:19 · answer #7 · answered by earthgoddess777 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Culture and environment of the place to which u belong and ur own contribution to their developing the right attitudes.
2006-10-15 02:08:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋