How hard is it having a child at 20? What happens when you're not making enough money?

Question

I am 20 living in Sacramento California and Im pregnant. I live with family and I am working and going to school. My boyfriend lives with friends and doesn't work. I'm not sure if I should have the child because we are not finacially ready. What are my options?

Answer 1

I'm more amazed that keeping the child is an option when someone is obviously not able to care for him/her. Oh right.. the government will pay for whatever you need, how silly of me. And surely no need to be married to raise a family, those values have long since become a memory in society. Good thing it doesn't lead to emotional instability or anything silly like that. But then again there's no joy for the children left as wards of the state because people would rather "order" children from other countries to adopt than deal with local children.
Well, hopefully you're family will be supportive to your child as well. You're going to have to make your own decisions on this that's for sure.

Answer 2

Having a child at 20 is really difficult, but it's not much easier to have one at 25 or 30. For the great majority of people, there's never a time when you're financially ready for a child.

I'm pro-life, so I can't in good conscience put abortion in with what I consider to be good options, but some of the others here have, so it's not like your ignorant of it as an option.

If you are worried about your ability to raise the baby, but you want to carry the pregnancy to term, there are ALWAYS people who want to adopt and bring a child into a loving home. Lots of times, the future adoptive parents pay for doctor visits, maternity clothes, even sometimes food, rent and bills, for the time of the pregnancy. You can have the option to be kept informed about your baby, too.

If you choose to have the baby and keep it, you would first need to talk to your family. It sounds to me like you would definately be qualified for WIC (Women Infants Children, provides healthy food for the pregnant or nursing mom and the baby/child after birth). I would suggest suing your boyfriend for child support, to have it recognized legally (that way, if he doesn't pay, you can act on it.) It is his responsibility to help with the child, financially at the very least. Normally, child support is figured up on how much the guy makes, but since he doesn't have a job, the judge would look at what a reasonable salary would be for him (and make him get a job) and assign child support based on that amount.

I don't think that marrying just because of pregnancy is a very smart idea. When my younger sister got pregnant, my dad pushed her to get married to the guy, but that was basically because he didn't think she would get child support from the guy if they broke up otherwise.

If you do have the baby, it is a good idea for you to keep trying to make it through school, even though it'll be TOUGH for a while. That will give you the means to make a decent living after you graduate, and that becomes even more important if you're raising a child.

Remember this, there are a lot of women who get pregnant and keep their own children who are worse off than you are, so if you wanted to do that, it wouldn't be easy by any means, but it would be completely plausible.

Answer 3

Physically it is not as hard having a baby at age 20 as it is when you are older. Money is always a problem with a baby.

If you consider adoption, these places could help.
Sierra Adoption Services - 6.7 miles E - 8928 Volunteer Ln # 240, Sacramento, 95826 - [phone]
Holt International Children's - 7.5 miles NE - 3807 Pasadena Ave # 115, Sacramento, 95821 - [phone]
Aspira Foster & Family Services - 8.6 miles E - 9719 Lincoln Village Dr # 401, Sacramento, 95827 - [phone]

Answer 4

I have always been told by my family that you will never be "financially ready" for a child. You can get state assistance like DHS. But if you don't think that you and your bf can handle it there is always adoption. But if you don't feel like you can give the child what it needs then that is one of your options. But don't let the money situation the main reason for giving it up. Sit down with your bf and talk about him getting a job and helping out. Ask your family for some assistance. Good Luck!!

Answer 5

Well you can go to the county and apply for welfare, not for you but for the child. Since you are living with your family and working then you are able to support yourself. Although your boyfriend is not working if he gets anytype of job welfare will dip into his pay in order to gain payment back for supporting his child, and the state will look into finding ways of his supplying financial support for the child as well. If he gets unemployment child support will be taken out of that, if he ever files a tax return and is lucky enough to get something back from either the state or the federal government that will go to pay child support as well. If you are not too far along in this pregnancy you might want to weigh your options and make a decision that is right for YOU...don't worry about what other's might say, you do have the right to make choices in this matter. If you are past 20 weeks however there are fewer choices, I would suggest giving the baby up for adoption since even you, yourself said, you are not financially ready to raise a child.

Answer 6

I had my first child at 20.My husband was fresh out of school and working. I wasn't working.We had a great little girl. We had a cheep two room apartment,one car,no cable, and borrowed crib. It can be done. The babies father needs to start washing dishes if nothing else. There are government programs to help before and after the baby is born.What ever you decide to do you will be a mother. Do you want to be the mother of a dead child or a living one.

Answer 7

I'm going to try and keep this as unpolitical as I can, but beware, by asking if you should have the child or not you're asking to be flamed. Just remember, the decision is yours.

You really have 3 options: Have the baby and keep it, have the baby and give it up for adoption, or have an abortion (I don't want to discuss with anyone the morality of this option - it's legal so it is an option, it's up to her to decide).

Nobody here can tell you which one works. We'd have to be you and in your situation to know what is best. Just don't let anyone talk you into anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. When you make the right decision, you'll know.

Answer 8

Have the child for heaven sakes! Anytime you decide to lie down and have sex you risk the chance of becoming pregnant. You have done the deed and now have to deal with the consequences. Trust me I got pregnant at 16 and went ahead with the pregnancy as abortion was never an option. I went to school and worked part time at a retail store. My boyfriend (who is now my husband) dropped out of school and got a full time job. He later went back to school and got his high school diploma. It was not easy but luckily we had a great support. Of course we had lots of "used" things but hey we were very greatful. You will be just fine. Discuss every detail with your boyfriend and let him know that this is his child just as it is yours and you need to provide for this new life! Good luck and best wishes!

Answer 9

Is your boyfriend supportive emotionally, does he want the baby? If he doesn't support you or doesn't want the baby, you need to think about whether you can raise the child by yourself. Will your family help with childcare, etc.? If you have no one supporting you, you will have a very hard time. Only you know what support is available to you and what is right for you but remember if you keep the baby, you will be raising him/her for 18 years.

Answer 10

well you could talk it over with your parents and family and friends there are other options out there and it doesn't necessarily mean you have to abort. there are ways around it... you could go to centrelink or social security (or equivalent) and ask for a parenting payment. you wont get it till the baby is born but you get it weekly or fortnightly. Now i don't no if where you live you get paid to have a baby but here in Australia we get paid an additional $5000 which is supposed to go towards the baby and help out financially, good luck