Should I get engaged?

Question

My Girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 years. I'm 23, she's 22. We were waiting till I could afford a ring, but, while we were waiting for that, I became less sure.
She got irritated waiting for the ring, which made me irritated at her. She called me one day, out of know-where, telling me that she decided to move in with me. Her mom later talked her out of it, but then she yelled at me because I talked her into it. And don't get me started about the massive drop-off in our sex-life.
My experience is that things get slightly better after marriage then get much worse. I'm a guy, and I don't think I could take it, if my sex life got worse.
Did I wait so long to get married that I'm already neck-deep in married life, or are things going to get much worse if I propose?
I Love Her, I really do, but her parents make her crazy, which makes my life hard. She's such a pleasant person when she's away from her parents for awhile. Considering all this, should I get engaged?

Answer 1

I am 21 and have been with my boyfriend (who's almost 24) for a little over 4 years. We are in a similar situation as you and your girlfriend are in. I feel for your girlfriend. Words cannot describe how it feels if you discuss marriage and then your boyfriend doesn't pop the question. It make me feel like he doesn't love me or he doesn't appreciate me. Ask her to marry you!

Answer 2

If you have these kind of questions and doubts NOW there is no way you should even CONSIDER getting married. Let me say this and I speak for my husband as well, little things that irritate you now become MAJOR PROBLEMS after marriage. If your sex life is lacking now it will be non-existent. Kids enter the picture, you have less time to devote to each other, more bills to pay, life is just more hectic.

Another thing to consider, if her parents have this much control over her at this point it's only going to get worse for you too if you get married. It doesn't sound like she is ready to leave mom & dad & become one with a husband.

Bottom line, if you are not 100% sure, don't do it.

Answer 3

First of all, you aren't proposing to her parents are you? No..so although her parents make her crazy when two people marry the life is about them not the people on the outside including parents. Maybe she become so irritated and upset because she began to doubt that after 4 years of being together and no proposal, you had no intention of doing so. Maybe she feels because you havent taken that step that you are unhappy or questioning your future with her, And one thing you absolutely have to know about women is...When there is emotional issues, concerns, heartbreak, etc..women do not want sex until things are resolved and smooth. For some reason, many females link their sex and emotions together, therefore when emotion or security in a relationship is lacking, usually the sex will follow...something to remember.

Answer 4

The two of you should try living together before taking such a big step like marriage. Things might get better once she is away from her parents and the answer to your question the same as if things only get worst.

Answer 5

if u have to question anything about your life with her then u are going to have more of a harder time when u get married. but u also say that she is better when she is away from her parents then u may want to think about u 2 moving out by your self and then maybe u will really see how she is like and then maybe u can grow off that.

Answer 6

Definitely don't get engaged. You've been with her since you were 19....too young. And more importantly, if your sex life sucks now, getting married will make it worse. And your to-be in-laws will be in your life as long as your married, whether or not she sees them every day or twice a year. She sounds neurotic and unstable. Just walk away and find somene who isn't so focused on "the ring."

Answer 7

well unless her parents are moving in with you after you get married, and this does happen sometimes, I would say yes, if you are doing it brcause you love her and want to have a life with her. if you are doing this because she is pressuring you into proposing, I suggest you run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. if you are being pushed, you may think it is okay now but later you will resent her for it. trust me I know. as far as your sex life, she may be punishing you for taking so long who knows. remember if you marry her, as long as you are married to her, her parents are going to be in your life. it is up to ya'll to decide how much. you are the only person who can make this decision. if she is acting like this now, how will she act once you say I do?

Answer 8

I'll tell you something you already know. Don't get engaged! That whole waiting to afford the ring thing is a dead giveaway that, at least subconsciously, you know she's not the one for you.

Answer 9

spend more time on getting ur finances together first because before u know it she will want kids

anyway yahoo is a great place for questions like this because its filled with fat losers who will probably never ever get married...

yeah, go for it mate whats to loose?
hold that thought, wait another year
maybe talk to her about it see what she thinks

Answer 10

i think you should.. i think she is just tired of waiting since its been freakin 4 yrs of dating....
and if you get engaged ....you will get married which means she will always(well not always...couples do have fights) but almost all the time she will be pleasent b/c she will be away from her parents...