Still harvesting feelings for an old fling and can't let go, even though I have a boyfriend..Do i say goodbye?

Question

There's this guy I ...um...how do you say...had something more than friends with, but it was a real grey area. It was the most magical and happiest time of my life. It was very spontaneous, and at the drop of a hat, we'd take off somewhere. 6 months go by, no official title yet, and we were still doing the same thing...messing around, having fun, and there was no assumption we would hang out on the weekends. For me, it was torture, because I started wanting that official title of "girlfriend" but this guy would not have it. He had just gotten out of a relationship of 2 years, as was I. However, 6 months go by, and I was kinda ready to start up again. I tried to make it okay for us to just be casual, but in my heart, I wanted more. 3 years have gone by, I now have a boyfriend, he has a newly acquired girlfriend. I can't help but feel there is some unfinished business there. Yet, I am done playing games. Do I say goodbye or remain his friend? HELP.

Answer 1

Sorry to say it, but if he wouldn't call you his girlfriend, but now he has someone he calls his girlfriend, then he wasn't into you. Perhaps he was on the rebound. The truth is, when a guy says he's not ready for a relationship, what he's really saying is....he's not ready for a relationship with YOU. Remember, guys will say anyhting they think you want to hear in order to have you as long as they need you to fill their needs. But if they really were into you, there would be many clear signs that wouldn't leave you wondering. If he wanted to be with you, and you wanted to be with him, you would be together. This is the harsh reality of how men work.

Answer 2

say goodbye. i am/was in the exact same position. i got a new boyfriend, the fling sed he would never tlakt o me again if i didnt choose him.i was scared to lose him even as just such a good friend. i chose the fling thinking then i wud finally get to be his 'girlfriend' but that was not the case, and i ended up playing more childish games when i could've had a loving, caring boyfriend. worst mistake of my love life ever.

Answer 3

Talk to him. I know it is harder than it sounds. Come clean with him and see what his reaction is as well as what he says. He might feel the same way, then again it could have just been a fling. It sounds like you weren't open with one another therefore it feels unsettled. If he won't talk to you about his feelings, then say goodbye or remain friends. Hope I have helped.

Answer 4

I had a similar situation. The best result for me was to not have any contact with him. You have to move on with your life and focus on being happy with your current boyfriend. Staying friends with him will bring up old feelings and will make you miserable. As long as I was in contact with the guy I was never totally happy in my current relationship. Hope I helped!

Answer 5

first of all, if you're thoroughly satisfied, then you actually shouldn't in any respect entertain even chatting with an old fling. Doing such issues as that in difficulty-free words complicate a difficulty. it is like taking a recovered alcoholic and sitting him in a bar without one round and telling him he extra constructive no longer drink. somewhat recovered alcoholics avoid the problem!!!! however in case you imagine you're over someone, you want to be smart and not in any respect flow there, because you not in any respect comprehend. it is why human beings have affairs. they don't avoid skill undesirable circumstances. Secondly, in case you've been somewhat happy with the present boyfriend, you have not in any respect contacted the old fling. Wishing him a contented birthday might want to have appeared like something possibility free, yet deep down, you comprehend it wasn't possibility free. You wanted to carry close how he felt about you without asking. some little voice contained in the subconscious might want to be telling you that your boyfriend isn't the guy you want to be with always. might want to you want it in case your boyfriend contacted an old fling of his? My wager might want to be no, because you comprehend what might want to doubtlessly ensue. So, why might want to or not this is advantageous so that you'll try this? ask your self: Is my boyfriend someone i might want to marry as we talk if he requested me? might want to he make me satisfied always? in case your solutions aren't any or uncertain, then you actually are not confident that he's the single, and probably you ought to locate your ideas. and ultimately, for sure the old fling is gonna say "sweet" such issues as that! He has an agenda! He needs your interest and a probability with you! If he truly did appreciate your position, he might want to end chatting with you and in basic terms inform you to the contact him if issues do not paintings out with the present boyfriend. He made his element about nevertheless having thoughts for you, so if he's a respectable guy, he might want to diminish backpedal and help you make your determination. If he has to cajole you to come back to a decision on him, then you actually are not particular about him both. you in basic terms ought to ask your self even if dropping the present boyfriend for a shot with the fling is definitely worth it. solid success. I hate circumstances like those.

Answer 6

stop torturing yourself! let go.. seriously .. if he wanted something serious with you , he would have said something.. you should let go of him and consentrate on your current relationship. The fling was just a fling.. get over it..

Happiness is not getting what you want, but in wanting what you have!

Answer 7

You need some time alone. Be fair to yourself and the new guy.

Answer 8

ok you need to just move on & focus on the new guy in your life

Answer 9

I WOULD JUST SAY GOODBYE.YOU ALREADY HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO ADD ANOTHER FEELING ON TOP OF IT.JUST WALK AWAY.

Answer 10

life is such, be true to thine own heart.