Ok i have posted here about 3 weeks ago on me accusing my husband of cheating, and he didnt.....still having problems.
We have been married 9 years and I understand him needing to get away from me...lol we need a little space from each other. He goes to the local bars about 3-4 times a week to deal and play poker and now hes going with a friend to help him with his karaoke nights. I am here at home with 3 kids alone every night sometimes till 4 am. We are going through some financial difficulties right now and we dont have a vehicle, so I go for a week or more without leaving the house, not even to go to the grocery store.......I dont know how to explain to him that I need him , without sounding too needy. I have friends, but they have children also, and I cant go out on my own to occupy my time......I am about to go insane. How do I get him to listen to me without him saying im a b*tch or im just jealous.......Please help
2006-10-14 18:21:47 · 11 answers · asked by sifford844 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh man, I really feel for you. I have issues with my husband too, but with me- I can't get him out of the house. I also don't have kids... So I'm not on your "level", but I have advice:
Try having him stay at home. Tell him you should take turns going out. One week he can go play poker and the next you can go out and have time for yourself. I'm not sure how you can convince him of this, but it sounds reansonable. Good luck
2006-10-14 18:35:17 · answer #1 · answered by ur a Dee Dee Dee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this, but if he is out with his friends 3-4 nights a week, he doesn't want to be around you and the kids. When you have a family, if you are mature, you give up the bar scene. You have different responsibilities in your life now.
And you say you have financial problems but he can go out and spend money at bars several nights a week?
You either need to give him an alternative or leave.
2006-10-14 18:35:35 · answer #2 · answered by Big Bear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him. I put off a similar conversation with my wife (suspicious about someone else and wanting to go out all the time to the "gym" and clubs with friends) I was trying to find a way to talk to her with out sounding like I was accusing her of anything and before I could bring it up I came home to find her packing her clothes and wanting a divorce. It wasn't till in the process of the divorce that I finally got her to tell me what her excuses were. It might have been resolved If I had talked to her earlier.
2006-10-14 18:43:06 · answer #3 · answered by skee2di 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My aunt had a similar situation. As hard as it was, she confided in her sister, my mom. My mom told her to come stay with us for a while. So, she packed up, brought her daughter with her, and took the hardest trip of her life. As difficult as it was to leave her home, with an uncertain outcome,she did it. And you know what? He came back, begging for her to forgive him. I am not saying this is the answer to your problem...but, if you have family who will be willing to help you out for a while, it may be time to make a drastic move. It won't be easy, and you'll definitely have 2nd thoughts....but that's what family is for. You need to think about you, for once....now is the time...it's now or never.
2006-10-14 18:28:03 · answer #4 · answered by Ther 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend, men who are out there doing wrong will call any women a *****....He knows that he should have his butt at the crib, but know he wants to make like he is out there making money.....Whatever....so he is.....If you don't work, than I suggest you get a job....Why give him a break if you are the one taking care of the kids? Why not you......You have every right to go off on him....If he goes to the bars than you should be with him.....Find out where all the money is going.....This is your HUSBAND and he is hanging out like you are his girlfriend....Wake up girlfriend....You know the game....So handle your business...YOU CAN DO BAD ALL BY YOURSELF WITH YOU AND YOUR THREE KIDS.....
2006-10-14 18:33:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anastacia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and talk to him tell him how you feel. That is the only thing that will help and make sure that he listens to you OK. It's not fare for him to stick you with the kids all the time they are his too let him know that I mean you didn't crawl on top of your self and get your self pregnant.
2006-10-14 18:31:34 · answer #6 · answered by leespitt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For every night he goes out, you get an equal amount of time out and he stays with the kids. In your wedding vows you both agreed to that, so he should not have a problem with that.
2006-10-15 02:11:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i have been with my boyfriend for 14 years and he was doing the same thing.well come to find out there was a chick who used to hang out at that very same bar.but he said he would never cheat. but that might be a reason why hes hanging out at the bar.
but i do know that they do work hard for us women and they do need to go out a couple times a week, but you need to put your foot down and tell him that you dont like him going out so much,and maybe hire a babysitter and go out with him.one night hope i could help a little bit.
2006-10-14 19:23:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to him about this, and soon. what he is doing may seem okay to him, but leaving you at home alone with the kids all the time is not fair to you.
2006-10-14 18:24:00 · answer #9 · answered by smitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu didn't sound like a biatch explaining the situation to us... Explain to him like your question!!!
2006-10-14 18:25:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋