Since so many are seeking help. Your input has got to be valuable.
2006-10-14 18:20:03 · 16 answers · asked by Charlie Kicksass 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow, where do I start? Well, the short answer may or may not make any sense in this forum. You can e-mail or IM me, if you want; and I'll tell you that one.
As for practical advice, there are no short answers for that one and no magical keys. Just many simple pieces-most of which are common sense. For example, you want to have common values regarding marriage, raising children and marital as well as parental roles and also, acceptable reasons for divorce! My views on all of those things are based on my and my wife's religious beliefs. You'll want to discuss these things in advance.
Some people feel that marriage is just a "piece of paper." I personal feel that when a marriage is based on "a piece of paper," the relationship is doomed from the beginning because there really is no value placed on the marital commitment. Marriage isn't all about declaring your love for one another, it's about making a lifetime commitment before God and it should not be taken lightly.
Of course, in any marriage that doesn't include God, the two people involved are free to define marriage as whatever you want to define it as. You are also free to make up your own rules or you may choose to live by the ever evolving social mores of the day. That's my two cents worth.
Best wishes to you!
2006-10-14 19:01:01 · answer #1 · answered by Leroy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, well my wife and I just had our 25th. I bet most of you can't make that claim. We dated from March till October and that was it. We have not only been spouses, but we have more importantly been best buddies.
Do not believe that marriage is 50 50. It is 100 % comittment from you both. It is very important to keep the communications lines open every day. Even when you think you don't care, sit down and listen to what your spouse has to say and most often you will find that you do care. Never go to sleep with issues from the day hanging over your head.
Give each other space, and remember that your spouse is the most important person in your life. Your spouse may not share a bunch of the same interest that you do, but that is ok, you must still respect what they have interest in too.
Do not believe that the man is the head of the house for one minute, that went out with believing that people live on the moon and we came to earth on a space ship. The family unit must be as such, a family. Even our dog has input on what goes on around here.
On our 25th, which was two weeks ago, we exchanged cards, I sent her 25 red roses, and a single white lilly. We went to a small resturant and found a very private corner and shared a great dinner and talked about what ever for an hour or so. We then went to a local pub and met with some of our friends and played pub trivia for the evening. It was a great day, a great evening, and has been a great life with my spouse. If I had it to do all over, I would not change a thing.
2006-10-15 02:05:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My hubby and I have been happily married for 13 years. Our marriage has worked great because we have Communication, Honesty, Trust and Love for one another. We have one child and do family things together. But we also go out atleast ounce a month on a date like if we where dating each other. We always mannish to spice up and put some romance in our relationship. But most of all we love to spend time together even if we are working on a project in the house or cuddling and watching TV. He is my best friend!!!
2006-10-14 18:34:23 · answer #3 · answered by hazelshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is one of the key ingredients along with honesty and trust. Listening effectively is just as important (if not more) than talking. When u fight, fight fairly and always try to come up with a compromise when u can't agree on something. Learn to pick your battles wisely and let go of your desire to be right all the time.
Spend as much time together doing the things u both love but learn to give each other space when wanting to do your own thing. Be each other's best friend and always be there for one another. Be patient with each other and show one another respect and understanding. Remember u are partners and u are in it for the long haul.
2006-10-14 18:29:55 · answer #4 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK the secret of a happy marriage is COMMUNICATION if you don't communicate with your partner then you might as well not even be married. Oh and another thing is that you should be friends before you get married in the first place, oh and know that you are going to have little arguments. Every couple has their arguments. I just got married to the man that i have been with off and on for four years.
2006-10-14 18:26:18 · answer #5 · answered by leespitt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is saying communcation and I agree. That is so important. The real secret is not to have secrets. Talk about EVERYTHING - good and bad. Make decisions mutually. Back each other up in disciplining your kids. Help each other out cleaning the house. Be friends with each other. Hang out together. Laugh together. Remember the days when you first fell in love and what attracted you to him/her. See everything as a team effort. Have mutual dreams and goals. And don't forget to date each other.
2006-10-14 18:35:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Enjoy the differences. The idiosyncrasies of your spouse are what make the lifelong journey a joy.
(known her for 21 years, married now for 13+ w/3 kids, and never more in love with her than I am now)
2006-10-14 19:36:28 · answer #7 · answered by RealistProse 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The best advice I've ever received is that in marriage both sides have to give it 100%. You need to communicate, have a healthy sex life, & try not to argue over money matters.
2006-10-14 22:01:32 · answer #8 · answered by ccl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best advice I have is to work at it every day--- being married is like having the best job you've ever had. you have to constantly be willing to be a team, otherwise, it won't work. but when it is working, you know because just like when you find your career that you've dreamed of, you are excited to be there... either getting there in the morning, or coming home tonight.
2006-10-14 18:32:07 · answer #9 · answered by fireangel_92682 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
happily married for 8 years!!!! our secrets is honesty and laughter. I tell him every thing, and he tells me everything because i believe that if some one is lying to their spouse than the marriage is a lie. SO NEVER LIE TO YOUR SPOUSE!!! and really good love making doesn't hurt!!!
2006-10-14 18:25:33 · answer #10 · answered by angie1412 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋