My bf that Im planning on getting engaged to goes out everynight with his friends. Everyday of the week and comes home at 3 or 4. Now we are in a long distance relationship at the moment but he tells me that aslong as I trust hes not doing anything wrong I need to stop worrying. And I dont just worry we fight every night over the same thing. He doesnt put himself in a bad situation like a bar or club just the daily meeting up with his friends. Am I overreacting..being insecure..or controlling as he says or do I have the right to be worried?
2006-10-14 18:14:24 · 14 answers · asked by Amani 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If he did not give you reason to distrust him in the first place, I would not interrogate him with questions as to his whereabouts. You already mentioned that he does not place himself in an environment that can put him at risk for infidelity and violence.
I strongly believe that if two people are in a monogamous relationship, the individuals involved should not attempt to exert control over the others. This only build resentment and annoyance to the other person. A relationship should consist of two people who SHARES SEPARATE lives. With this said, I do believe in boundaries and investment into the relationship. A relationship need to be nurtured with love and tended to with attention.
You are currently in a long distance relationship and since you are not there for him to give attention to, he will enjoy the comfort of his friends' companionship. Would you rather he sit at home and twiddle his thumb thinking of you nonstop?
You have a right to worry but not excessively to the point where it is creating frictions in your relationship and impairing your ability to function.
2006-10-14 18:24:40 · answer #1 · answered by Ana 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
once you are in a rlationship there are some limits you need to repect. You have all the reazons in the world to be upset. He needs to understand that he is not a single guy anymore and if he wants to marry you...he needs to comply with the normal things. EVERY DAY!!!!!!!!!! that is a lot of going out!!and he is comming back home too late. Is just a mmatter of respect to you. Stand streight where you are, and let him know your position clear and firmly. Better do it now, than later when you are married. There is no excuse for such behavior!!!!
2006-10-14 18:20:02 · answer #2 · answered by scorpionbeat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is never any right to be worried, and it never helps anything.
He is oviously already very well aware of your feelings, and by keeping on naggin at him, you'll just get him angry.
My first wife did this to me. Whenever I went out with the lads she accused me of messing with other women. Eventually I got so fed up with it, I decided that I would!!
2006-10-14 18:23:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should just relax....and stop freaking out...
go out and have fun instead of checking up on him...let him come after you...make him start worrying about you...
i mean you both love each othe rsince you were getting engaged...but you cant get married if you don't trust him...so you need to let go a lil..and see if he will go after you and see how he will react...if you don't pick up the phone and if you get home later from going out with ppl..u know? see if he will get worried or pissed...cuz you will be doing the same he does....
2006-10-14 18:19:22 · answer #4 · answered by Cutie77 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you.. bars are no place for a man to be. Alcohol leads to more than just a fun nite out. Tell him you do not like him there in that situation. Ask him to stop drinking without you in bars with him. If he can not agree then I am sorry but there is something I would doubt.
2006-10-14 18:21:25 · answer #5 · answered by italliansweety67 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think you have the right to be worried bc he is your bf and you r in a long distance relationship. so just trust your heart and it will tell you what to do.
2006-10-14 18:20:29 · answer #6 · answered by shy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would your bf assume you didn't want to go? Do you not enjoy his family? If you don't enjoy his family, then consider it a free pass to escape a long horrid night. If you do like them, then he or they were just being rude, and then yes, I would be offended.
2016-03-28 09:49:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The both of you need to have a non-confrontational talk about this. If this goes undiscussed, this can pose a problem in the marriage.
If possible, see a marriage counselor about it if it gets worse.
2006-10-14 18:16:39 · answer #8 · answered by chrstnwrtr 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You go with your friends for a while and let him knoqw about it. Then see how he feels about it. If he gets upset, then repeat his words back to him. That will straighten him out.
2006-10-14 18:40:42 · answer #9 · answered by kuku 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS DO NOT WORK. BEEN THERE DONE THAT. HONESTILY MEN ARE GOING TO BE WHO ARE GOING TO DO WHATEVER THEY ARE GOING TO DO ON TOP UP OF TELLING US WHAT WE WANT TO HEAR. WHEN THE WHOLE TIME THEY ARE JUST PLAYING US AND EVENTUALLY WE FIGURE IT OUT. GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP
2006-10-14 18:22:58 · answer #10 · answered by SEXXYDARKCHOCO 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋