My wife responds to sexually explicit emails I send her under an unknown name. Should I confront her?

Question

At age 46 my wife and I have been married since 1985. We have a 16 yr old son and an 11 yr old daughter. Our sex life is good. She stays on the phone with her 4 or 5 single adult female friends ALL THE TIME both day and night. Often when we are in bed early in the morning [6 am] her "best" female friend from high school calls her to wake her up. So I decided 2 yrs ago to start sending her some email messages and ecards under an assumed name from a self-described tall, well built handsome man with a 10 inch sexual organ. She has responded each and every time and often probes to make sure he is someone legitimate. After two years of quarterly emails she has finally given out her real name and the city she lives in. She has praised the emailer for being persistent using that to encourage him to continue. She has invited him to visit the city and has asked him to make the arrangements. Should I confront her with the truth or continue the charade and set up a surprise encounter?

Answer 1

A wise heart concealeth the matter.

The fictional dream man should get cold feet and admit he's too chicken to actually go through with it and meet her because of a happy marriage.

Let the whole thing go and rot away. Say nothing.

Answer 2

Wow what a loaded question. Her hubby persistently baited her, playing on her natural sexual desires, seduced her under the alias of being another man she has never seen.

Have you been the guy that berates her husband? Do you suggest bad things about him so that she will play into your hand. Do you then use those same things to get her to dislike her husband/YOU and become dissatisfied with her life? Oh shet have you dug yourself one hell of a hole.

OK, First-You can nail her for being unfaithful and a beatch, or Second, you can allow her to save face (since you kept taking it up a notch) and make this a really hot experience for both of you.
It would be very sexy and great for your marriage if you set it up to meet at a bar for some drinks, maybe somewhere there is a motel nearby or in the lobby of a hotel that you have already booked a room in.
Then give her one hell of a sexy shocker. No talk of reality. Make it fast and keep playing the game. Take her upstairs and give it to her.
If she freaks, there are 2 ways to look at it~
1. You are really an *** for trying to get her to be unfaithful to you.
2. The damage after all this time of seducing and being seduced has built up and there is no amount of repairing that you can do.

All in all, you really cannot live with yourself if you drive her away after dragging this thing on like you have. I hope that this really becomes something that you can look back on with her one day and laugh about.

Answer 3

Oh my dear, nasty dilemma. Sorry to her about all this. Were you OK with things when It was e-mail flirting but now that it looks like she is going to jump the fence, it's a different story?

Get ready for the Year of Hell.

If you want to save your marriage, tell your wife you have something to confess. Tell her you have been sending and receiving "romantic" e-mails to an anonymous woman and you feel very guilty about it. DON'T LET HER KNOW THAT IS IT HER. DON'T LET HER KNOW THAT YOU KNOW ABOUT HER ACTIVITIES.

Now the tricky part. Watch her response, talk with her, she may confess her own sneaky tricks. If she does confess this is a good sign. Send her another e-mail from 'Mr. 10 inches' and see how she responds. She may end the e-mail relationship.

If she freaks out, calls you every name in the book, threatens you,etc........then it's time to tell her "the jig is up,#@&%*!"

I wish you and your kids the best.

Answer 4

Set up the suprize encounter...but do it the smart way...if she's going to want to meet her admirer, she'll want to do it at a place you would think she would never go...someplace out of her norm and away from the eyes of anyone who might get it back to you. Also...don't make it hard for her to get away with it...plan for you to be out of town on business or out with friends...something that will free her up for several hours. Prepare for the event. If you normally don't wear a ball cap...wear one...If you have a favorite jacket that you wear a lot...don't...wear something she would not recognize as you or your style. Get to the meeting place early...if you don't wear glasses...find some clear UV protection lenses in the sunglass section of most any store. Don't wear a cologne that she will recognize as you. Find a place to sit where you can see the entrance from every angle and be sure to have a newspaper or a book that you can keep in front of your face...If you have light hair, you can make it darker temporarily with Gel or mousse -Temporary color products are available at Sally beauty supply and no one is going to look at you funny or ask questions this close to Halloween.(if the hat thing doesn't work) If you can get a room under an assumed name (pay cash) in a local motel that happens to have a resteraunt Bar in it then you can have her meet 'him' there. If you have a camera phone, make sure it doesn't make any noises when you photograph her showing up to meet him...If you need more help, e-mail me. Don't take your car...Park it someplace close by (out of sight) and walk or take a cab...

Answer 5

I'd use this to your advantage and set up the appointment to meet at a hotel room. Tell her to leave the lights off when she entered (course you already there, leave your car well hidden) tell her door is unlocked come on in leave lights off and make way over to bed tell her not to say nothing to each other and start making out after the make out . turn the lights on and see if she is surprised to find you there. On the other hand woman ain't as stupid as one may think, your wife may have already figured out that it's you doing the e-mailing and plays the your game back with you to see if you break to tell her it's you or not testing you to see how far you will go......

Answer 6

I would continue the charade and set up an encounter.. be very specific about your desire to start up a romantic connection with her, arrange to meet her , then confront her. You need to know. the truth for your own well being.

Answer 7

I think you have some serious psychological problems. You're lying to your wife....You've set her up for your own personal gain...And things can't be that great if she's falling for it....Not only that, you have the upper hand on these e-mails cause you know what she likes. That's down right deceitful and in some states against the law...(just kidding), but get real Mr. husband.
What you're doing is entrapment.....For you're own satisfaction you've made your own wife fool around on you....(in a sense)...with the only man she loves anyway.,...YOU...
How selfish can you be? Come clean before she finds you out and hates you for it......
Wow....talk about a mind f*ck! ! ! !

Answer 8

You obviously dont trust your wife which isnt very good. But how do you know she hasnt "made arrangements" to go see some other guy that emails her besides you. I personally think its sort of an invasion of privacy by emailing her like that but you had a gut feeling and went with it..good for you...but thats bull that she would even think of doing that. CONFRONT HER. good luck.

Answer 9

Meet her. Surprise her and give her the best night of her life. Set something up romantic and 'out of character' for you. Make her feel like shes desired and 'wanted'. It just might work your way, you just might come off as the 'good guy'.

Answer 10

Don't tell her it is you, surprise her with an encounter. You might freak her out.

But you know what, it took her 2 YEARS to let you know where she lives. She isn't cheating on you. You are messing with her though.

What is your alter ego giving her that you aren't? Be a better husband before it is too late.